Review: Chocolate City

This review was originally published in Nathaniel's column at Towleroad...

So ballsy: Chocolate City, a black rip-off of Magic Mike, actually name checks Steven Soderbergh's Magic Mike (2012) twice -- once in its opening scene even! -- and names it lead character Mike. In one conversation its strippers even dismiss Magic Mike for being 'only a movie' as if they're authentic fantasy workers in a documentary.

Not ballsy enough: Chocolate City has zero actors as brave as Matthew McConaughey what with his g-string ass up to the camera writhing and no actors as nonchalantly nude as Channing Tatum doing that birthday suit bathroom strut. If you're aiming for an even cheaper riff on one of the great low budget success stories of recent cinema (Magic Mike grossed 24 times its meager budget globally; hits are generally lucky to quadruple their budgets) shouldn't you exploit what your mama gave you?

B movies throughout time have been energized by their trashier instincts. Not so much this one. This Mike (super cute Robert Ri'Chard) is practically a saint though he goes by "Sexy Chocolate" while naughty on stage. More...

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Cate to the Rescue!

Cate Blanchett may not have won Best Actress at Cannes but she still wins our hearts. And now we're left wondering what Oscar will do with two lesbian dramas with obvious co-leads hitting them at once this year (Freeheld & Carol), will they double down on Category Fraud or finally reject it? Anyway, here's Jose to give Cate the Coveted Post Cannes Ceremony Celebration Post. - Nathaniel R

Our adventure begins around May 15, 2015 when a certain red carpet superstar had to make an emergency call...

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Cannes Closing Prizes

12:25 The jury arrives and out pours their little soundbytes. Anticipation. Who will win the Palme D'Or?

We're proud of our choices."
-Rossy de Palma 

It was so congenial. One of the best experiences of my life. It was a great group."
-Joel Coen 

Beautiful. Every time we deliberated we went very deep. We argued back and forth in a good way. The Coens made it very clear we should be very passionate. It was one of the best experiences "
-Guillermo del Toro 

It feels like a little family. And the movies were so wonderful. It's odd artists judging artists but I guess it has to be done."
-Jake Gyllenhaal 

The reporter reminds us that Xavier Dolan leaves WITH Marion Cotillard tomorrow to start filming his next movie. He never stops. No rest for the Francophones. All the Jury prizes and quick thoughts after the jump

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Potential Foreign Oscar Submissions from Cannes

While most of the world obsesses on Eurovision today, we'll stayed obsessed with France. The Cannes festival ends tomorrow with the awards ceremony and the biggies like the Palme D'Or (the overall winner) Best Actress (or 'The Anti-Marion' as it will surely soon be retitled since she's in the mix every single year but never wins) and the Camera D'Or (first film). But until tomorrow afternoon when we hear those honors, we've still got plenty to discuss including potential Oscar submissions (I must soon create those massive foreign submission charts) and the first wave of jury prizes.

UN CERTAIN REGARD
Isabella Rossellini's jury has handed out their prizes with this statement from Rossellini

We, the jury, would like to thank the Festival de Cannes for inviting us to be part of the Jury for Un Certain Regard. The experience of watching nineteen films from twenty-one countries was memorable. It was like taking a flight over our Planet and its inhabitants… Any anthropologist would be envious of us. We would like in particular to thank Thierry Frémaux and his team for their incredible kindness. I cannot refrain from expressing also my personal gratitude to the Festival for having chosen my mother Ingrid Bergman for the poster of the 68th edition of this festival. Mamma seems to hovered over all of us, filmmakers and film lovers, as a guardian angel. Thank you.

Here's a roundup of prizes including many potential Oscar submissions for Best Foreign Language Film...

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Review: Pitch Perfect 2

The standard formula for sequel-making is easy to remember: do it again, only bigger. Elizabeth Banks has taken this to heart while working both sides of the camera. Pitch Perfect 2 marks her feature directorial debut but she's still fully visible as one half of the insult-comic pundits that barrage the acapella groups with shade as we watch them perform. The absurd notion of live commentary during vocal performances continues to be a pretty good unspoken joke unto itself so naturally Gail (Banks) and John (John Michael Higgins), have larger roles this time. They're like the Waldorf & Statler to the Bardem Bella's Muppets only hornier and way more intrusive. The comparison may be fusty but so is the jokey tone - vaudeville sized in its caricature driven gags and completely shameless at wringing laughs from crude, repetitive and stereotype-loving jokes. In fact, it's so broadly cartoonish that it's easy to imagine virtually any of the cast members as muppets, especially Fat Amy (née Fat Patricia). 

Who among you didn't visualize Rebel Wilson as a Muppet just now; the resemblance is uncanny!

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