Masterpieces: 5 Works of Art That Deserve Their Own Movie

Abstew in the gallery to talk artworld films.

This past week saw the release of not one but two true life films set in the art world. Rather than traditional artist biopics, both films focus instead on the life of a particular painting's subject matter or the history of the painting itself. Woman in Gold (which opened in the top ten despite its limited theater count) stars Helen Mirren as Maria Altmann, a Holocaust survivor. She fought for over a decade in court with the Austrian government to become the rightful owner of Gustav Klimt's Portrait of Adele Bloch-Bauer I. The painting was of her aunt and it was stolen from her family by the Nazis during WWII. The long-delayed Effie Gray revolves around the unhappy wife (Dakota Fanning) of art critic John Ruskin (Greg Wise) in Victorian England. Apparently their marriage was never consummated and Effie became involved with the Pre-Raphaelite painter John Everett Millais (Tom Sturridge) and was the subject of some of his paintings.

Biopics about artists (Frida, Pollock, Mr. Turner, Lust for Life, the original Moulin Rouge, and many more over the decades) have found favor with the Academy. It will be interesting to see if these new films begin a trend for movies about the backstories of famous paintings, rather than the artist who painted them.

Since Hollywood is always in need of more interesting and diverse source material, here are 5 works of art that would make movies as pretty as a picture... 

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Entr'acte Music

Joan is already at the piano, warming up. She's never late on her cue but this is ridiculously early. (I think she wants revenge for that Mommie Dearest party, last week)

New Wave obsession JOHNNY GUITAR (1954) is our "Best Shot" movie tomorrow night. Sterling Hayden simmers and Mercedes McCambridge burns -- Will icy Joan thaw? Watch it, choose an image, post it. Be here for the event. [Amazon Instant | Netflix Disc | iTunes]. (The following Wednesday, Taxi Driver.)

You don't want to make Joan angry so you'd best show up.

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Curio: Cry Baby, 25 Years Later

Alexa here with your weekly film curio cabinet. 25 years ago this week John Waters' Cry Baby was released to the sound of a collective box office yawn.  But of course the whole pageant was engineered by Waters to become a cult favorite of the future. All the pieces were there: Johnny Depp licked his way out of the teen heartthrob hole he dug himself on 21 Jump Street, Traci Lords made getting vaccinations sexy, Iggy Pop took a bath, and Kim McGuire bravely put on her Hatchetface after Divine left this word for a better one.  In honor of its anniversary, here are some handmade goods celebrating the film that launched a thousand lonely tear drops.

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April Foolish Oscar Predix - Supporting Actors

As is the case every year the supporting categories are incredibly foggy early on. One rarely knows which supporting players have big roles (unless they're co-leads campaigning fraudulently which we should always expect). And then there's the matter of who will steal scenes and who will be reduced to glorified cameos even if their roles sound good on paper.

Will Poulter and Tom Hardy heading to shoot scenes for The Revenant

Perhaps the most important thing to remember about this Foolish early punditry: Supporting players, unlike leads, almost never win traction unless their film is also well liked. That adds yet another layer of clouds blocking future vision.

All of which makes April Foolish supporting pictures an exercize in fantasy. But it's fun! The chart is now up for  Best Supporting Actor and to start things off I'm predicting an all newbie lineup. But looking over the general foggy field one could have genuine with high hopes for a couple of respected actors who've never had a real Oscar shot like Tom Hardy and Kyle Chandler, actors who have been mistreated by Oscar like Ralph Fiennes (future cinephiles will be driven mad puzzling how he missed for Grand Budapest Hotel) and Kurt Russell (tell me again how he missed for Silkwood?) and actors who fit right into Things Oscar Does like Seth Rogen (comic gone serious), Bradley Cooper (you like me you really like me) and so on. The chart is big and extensive because it's silly to rule anyone out before most films have begun screening.

Among films with large casts that we suspect are teeming with possibly eventful supporting players but who can really say are Warren Beatty's Untitled Howard Hughes Project, Quentin Tarantino's Hateful Eight, and the press expose of the Catholic Church scandal drama known as Spotlight

Some of "Spotlight"s key cast members: Keaton, Schreiber, Ruffalo, McAdams, Slattery, James

And that's not all. There's also the head-injury medical sports drama Concussion led by Will Smith, an FBI drama led by Emily Blunt called Sicario, and the all star period literary drama Genius which features Jude Law, Guy Pearce, Dominic West, and others as famous authors. There's also the Hollywood Blacklist drama Trumbo which is headlined by Bryan Cranston but features a lot of other actors as famous showbiz figures

Do you have any suspicions about this field or any wild card predictions?

Beauty vs Beast: Wet Hot American Rudd

Jason from MNPP here with this week's "Beauty vs Beast" -- you know who's been in love with Paul Rudd for twenty years? This guy's been in love with Paul Rudd for twenty years. Almost exactly - Clueless came out in July of 1995 and I think it's safe to say that 95% of everyone who saw Clueless in theaters fell in love with Paul Rudd that summer twenty summers ago. Well today is Paul's 46th birthday and here on the verge of what's probably his biggest role ever (a literally little superhero movie called Ant-Man) it seems a good time to look back...

... to something small, super small, that changed the course of his career. Even though Wet Hot American Summer wasn't a hit when it came out in 2001 I can still remember it being a topic of conversation, how everybody was a bit surprised at how funny Rudd was in it. He'd done light romantic comedies a la Clueless before but his work in WHAS was diffrent - raunchy, and going-for-broke. And as the Apatow School of Comedy took over the decade, Rudd slipped himself right into the zeitgeist.

As for Wet Hot it was a cult movie pretty much immediately - I've certainly been banging the drum for it from my microscopic corner of the internet for a good long while now, and that dedication's been rewarded with Netflix's upcoming Wet Hot series, which will premiere on the streaming service on July 17th (aka two days before the 20th anniversary of Clueless. Weird right?)

As for this week's "Beauty vs Beast," I'm focusing in on a single scene in the 2001 film (one I've probably re-enacted to my boyfriend's chagrin far too many times when I'm asked to pick up some mess I've made) in order to face off two of my favorite characters in the movie - in the left-hand corner we've got Andy (Rudd), the Camp's bad boy, and in the right-hand we've got Beth (Janeane Garofalo) the responsible-ish Camp Director.

Whose team are you on?

Team Andy

Team Beth

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PREVIOUSLY As Nathaniel noted in Friday's edition of April Showers last week was ALL about Mommie Dearest, and this contest was no different - and it wasn't Mommie's first time at the rodeo, and it showed. at 80% Joan Crawford (Faye Dunaway) trounced the competition like... well like those rosh buses, and that talcum powder, and Christina herself. Although it was par who made the most sense:

"Team Christopher! [mostly for having the sense to stay out of this mess until the end]"