Tues Top Ten: Me Blogger, You Janes.

Today is the anniversary of the first day of Lady Jane Grey's infamous reign as the Queen of England. "Infamous why?" you ask. On account of its length, see. Her days as Queen numbered only nine.

They made a movie of the short event in 1985 (Lady Jane) which is all but forgotten today. Maybe it shouldn't be since it starred baby faced rising stars Cary Elwes and the now resurgent Helena Bonham Carter. HBC quickly became the go-to actress of choice for directors who wanted a porcelain dress up doll for their costume pictures. And by directors I mean the great James Ivory.

So herewith a top ten top nine list in Lady Jane's and Helena's honor...

TOP NINE BEST "JANES"

With apologies to four time Oscar nominee Jane Alexander, Susan Sarandon's delightful Jane Spofford, Jane Lynch (before Glee), Fun with Dick and Jane, and Demi Moore's G.I. Jane, Thomas Jane, and Jane Goodall. I'm sure I forgot someone wonderful but that's what the comments are for.

09 Jane Wyman
I didn't really understand Wyman until I finally saw Magnificent Obsession (1954) in which she can't see. I highly recommend that you don't remind blind to it because what a good picture that is.

Judy Bernly: What did you call this again?
Violet Newstead: Mowie Wowie!
Judy: Well, I love it.
Violet: Primo. 

08 "Mary Jane"
Or as Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin and Dolly Parton like to call it "Maui Wowie." Recently while watching a terrible 80s movie, (not 9 to 5 which is great) The Boyfriend and I were discussing which drugs make good movies and which ruin them. And Mary Jane is clearly the winner. Case evidence: Robert Altman's filmography. In the 80s Hollywood was on cocaine and it shows. Not in a good way!

Seven more classic "Janes" after the jump!

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Curio: Alan Cumming Snaps

Alexa here.  I've always enjoyed a bit of Alan Cumming; he seems to pop up every now and again, bringing a smile, even if it's just catching him hosting Masterpiece Mystery. As I'm not in New York I can't catch his one-man Macbeth currently at Lincoln Center, something I'd love to witness.  But we can all own a little piece of Alan's vision: turns out he is quite an avid photographer. 

"Listening To The Snow Falling"

Alan apes the look of old Polaroids by altering all his images to create saturated colors and a square format: as he says, "my life is a colorful blur, and so I think it only appropriate that the pictures I take embody that too."  If you have a few hundred dollars to spare, you can purchase signed prints here.  Here's a sampling of Alan's world. 

"Lustrous Pinnacle"

Here's a sampling of Alan's world... 

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DVD. You Choose. I Watch. We Talk.

Last year or a bit further back (?) I tried to give you the choice of which DVDs I would review from the weekly crop released but we didn't get very far on account of Netflix's month-long delays with some studios and my policies of mandatory procrastination. So irritating! Given that the bulk of readers and, indeed, the bulk of everyone watches their movies at home now (sigh), let's try again! I'll figure it out on my end.  We'll skip the newish releases we've already discussed like 21 Jump Street (review) and Mirror Mirror (review) and the one's I have no interest in. 

Let's start simple with 2012 movies fairly fresh on DVD that I haven't seen. though perhaps I'll speak out if there's a great commentary. If there is I trust someone will let me know. 

• THE FLOWERS OF WAR Zhang Yimou's historical epic starring Christian Bale that was submitted for foreign film last year but didn't make it.
• THIS MEANS WAR Reese Witherspoon's terribly reviewed slutty* action comedy in which she can't choose between Chris Pine & Tom Hardy. Her friend suggests a sex off (*I'm guessing? hoping?)
• JEFF WHO LIVES AT HOME An indie from the Duplass brothers co-starring the always welcome Judy Greer and Susan Sarandon.
• THE PERFECT FAMILY Kathleen Turner returns to the screen as the mother of a dysfunctional Catholic family. 

poll by twiigs.com

You choose for me and I'll cover it somehow next week.
Make your case in the comments if you'd like other people to vote your way.

Stripper of the Day: "Nancy Callahan"

While Magic Mike is in theaters we're celebrating memorable movie strippers.

Just a horny excop watching an exotic dancer

Though Sin City (2005) plays like a compilation of short films rather than a traditional narrative feature, the story that's barely tying it all together features an old cop Hartigan (Bruce Willis) with a heart condition and his life-changing rescue of a kidnapped a little girl named Nancy Hallaway. Hartigan is punished for his good dead, framed as her rapist by a powerful senator and rots in prison. Nancy writes him weekly as "Cordelia". She grows up to be Jessica Alba. And as Hartigan says observantly in voiceover once he's out of the slammer and in her club...

She grew up. She filled out.

The club in question is  a "lousy saloon" called Kadies, specializing in Booze & Broads. It advertizes this way: "liquour upfront" and "poker in the back". [Ahem] Given Sin City's horny adolescent boy sexuality, it's impossible not to read that euphemistically.

Given the  Alba Mania circa 2005 you'd think her strip routine was the end game of movie stripteases but she doesn't actually take anything off. 

More after the jump...

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Do the Right Link

Classic
Cracked 5 true (?) stories of dangerous movie scenes. Reckless endangerment on the sets of Inglourious Basterds, Evil Dead and Carrie, among others.
After Elton "Best Movie Ever? Truth or Dare" well, it's one of them at least! Anyone who ever questions Madonna's magnificence, needs to watch it.
Gothamist The Zeigfeld Theater in Manhattan is losing a million a year and may close. This is terrible terrible news for cinema since it's the only grand theater left in one of the two most important movie markets. It's hallowed ground. The place where I first saw Moulin Rouge! and first saw Michelle Pfeiffer in the pflesh. And so many other great experiences.

Current 
BadAss Digest theories on an important deleted scene in The Amazing Spider-Man
Vulture has an excellent interview with Spike Lee on his new film, Hollywood today, and the Obamas.
Salon Who are you, Katie Holmes? 

...and this is my pick for Tweet of the Weekend from Allie Goertz

Hee.

Future
Coming Soon The Dark Knight Rises and... Charles Dickens?