Monday Monologue: You Spoiled Little Bastard.

Jose here. With the Arthur remake arriving in theaters this weekend, now's a good opportunity to remember what made the original one of the most beloved movies of the 80s. The answer: John Gielgud.
The legendary British actor set the standards for what would become a subcategory of acting during the following decades: brilliant actors playing wise sidekick to rising stars.

His performance as valet/father figure Hobson, to Dudley Moore's irresponsible title millionaire, won him the Best Supporting Actor Oscar and with reason. He's truly unforgettable. In one of his best scenes, he gives Arthur a life lesson he probably would never forget.  

After Arthur has finished racing his car, he exits the vehicle complaining about his life. The loyal Hobson, asks him to hand over his helmet and goggles.

After this he slaps him while calling him a "spoiled little bastard".

Without giving Arthur a chance to say anything, Hobson begins:

You're a man who has everything, aren't you. But that's not enough!
You feel unloved Arthur? Welcome to the world. Everyone is unloved!  

Now stop feeling sorry for yourself...

Incidentally... I love you. 

Marry Susan, Arthur. Poor drunks do not find love Arthur.  
Poor drunks have very few teeth, they urinate outdoors, they freeze to death in summer.

I can't bear to think of you that way. 

Gielgud's spitfire delivery makes this monologue touching, hilarious and surprising. Best of all is the way in which Moore reacts to Gielgud. He seems to be in awe of this man's capacity.
The camera follows Arthur and Hobson as the latter continues his speech. Arthur just nods in agreement and for the first time in what seems an eternity shuts up completely.

We understand that Hobson's relationship to his employer has transcended any expectations. They have bonded and have learned to love each other.

Just as Arthur begins to speak again, telling his friend how he's fallen in love for the first time, Hobson, who has undoubtedly been devising a plan magically adds, 

Perhaps fate will lend a hand... 

How do you think Dame Helen Mirren will fare playing this iconic role? Do you think anyone will ever live up to Gielgud's beautiful performance?

Will Glenn Close Become a Double Nominee at the Oscars?

Glenn Close has been fighting to get Albert Nobbs, the 19th century drama about a cross-dressing woman in Ireland, made into a film for some time. She starred in the play in the summer of 1982, the same summer that her debut film performance in The World According to Garp arrived in theaters. She was famously Oscar-nominated for that debut.

Not only is she playing the role again 29 years later for the screen but she's co-written the adaptation*. It's her first screenplay credit and it could theoretically win her another "first timer" Oscar nomination. Once I imagined this scenario and narrative (AMPAS does respect a dream project) I couldn't let it go. Sometimes Oscar narratives get stuck in my head for weeks, impervious to all logic**.

A play poster; Mia Wasikowska and Glenn Close in the film.

Oscar obsessing takes up an alarmingly large percentage of my cerebrum and this blog and the charts (SCREENPLAY Predictions are ready for you***) are the results. But sometimes it gets a little out of hand. Neurologists were alarmed to discover that that same gold shiny fixation has now drifted to my brain stem. Studies show that my Oscar obsession is now a completely involuntary function... like breathing. They've asked me to donate my gray-gold matter to science when I'm dead.

*If she accomplishes this it won't be the first time. At least four other actors have written roles that they were Oscar nominated for both writing and performing. Can you name them?

** Logic like this troubling fact: none of Rodrigo García's well meaning but muted films have attracted much awards recognition. My personal theory is that someone needs to jolt him with electric shock on ocassion. I really want to love his films and I suspect he's a kindred spirit given his devotion to actresses but there's something too sleepy about the movies. And I don't mean boring. Does anyone feel me here? I just think they need some filmmaking crackle that's not entirely performance-driven.

*** I felt weird about not excluding Carnage in the predictions but the more I think about it the more I'm unsure of how well it will transfer to the screen.

Garp, The Big Chill, The Natural, Fatal Attraction, Dangerous Liaisons

P.S. (God shut up already, Nathaniel.) How would you rank Glenn's Oscar nominations? I still don't get what that 1984 bid was about at all -- other than involuntary nominating reflex, blame the AMPAS brain stem-- but fuckyeah on her 1980s run all told, right? She was nearly as Oscar ubiquitous as Streep. if they're both nominated this year for Albert Nobbs and The Iron Lady it'll be their third head-to-head showdown.

links get physical. physical.

Let's divvy up our links into body types today. (yougottahaveagimmickifyouwanna...)

Bears  Gold Derby is wondering if Robin Williams can complete his EGOT in June at the Tony Awards. Maybe.
Invisible Woman a lot of sites are sharing this Cannes poster to your left. Faye Dunaway circa 1970 is the 64 year old festival's pinup mascot. Does this mean Cannes now views itself as a strangely tucked and surgeried unrecognizable version of its former self?
Tiny Princess Deadline reveals that Tarsem Singh has cast 22 year old Lily Collins (Phil's daughter) as his Snow White (this is the competing project to the one with Kristen Stewart) instead of the rumored Saoirse Ronan. My guess is it's a good move since this is a sexy reimagining and Saoirse is only 16 (well 17 next week). Armie Hammer would've been robbing the cradle as Prince Charming.
Brokeback Kenneth in the (212) has some smart words to the CMAs and People Magazine for their lame homophobic humor directed at Jake Gyllenhaal. For shame.

Drawn That Way Here is the new footage 4 minutes of Green Lantern. I'm still weirded out that even Ryan Reynold's god-like body is too imperfect to be used rather than CGI'ed. What hope is there left for mere mortals let alone increasingly frumpy bloggers who keep "forgetting" to go the gym! This doesn't change much for me in whether or not I think Green Lantern will be any good though the f/x do seem to have had a wee polish since that first trailer and that will be important to its reception.

The best addition from the original trailer is actually a subtraction: there's none of that hideously wooden dialogue between Reynolds and whasthsername as the generic love interest. But that said I didn't hate this new footage as much as Pajiba. I'm guessing that bile is bright green.

The Foreign Body Indie Wire reveals step two of China Lion's strategy towards real inroads into the US market for Chinese films.
Adamantium-Laced Serious Film has an a-ma-zing visionary idea for the replacement director of The Wolverine.
Rapidly Aging Access Hollywood has an amusing interview bit with Reese Witherspoon, who is complaining about people viewing her as way too old for Robert Pattison in Water for Elephants.

Finally, Today's Must Read...

Voluptuous The Boston Globe Wesley Morris (such a fine writer) traces the evolution of the Actress's body from Elizabeth Taylor's voluptuousness to Christina Hendrick's Mad Men-only stardom. Inbetween notes on Jennifer Lopez, Kate Winslet, Penélope Cruz and Audrey Hepburn follow. I found the theories on Jane Fonda's evolution as a transitional figure fascinating.

It's Happening Again.

The waterworks start tomorrow.

First and Last, Kite

the first and last images or words from motion pictures.

Can't share the last image as both movie stars are right there in closeup. So here's the dialogue.

first line: All right. Toast time!
last line: She's a professional. She's better than me.

Can you guess the movie?