Beauty vs Beast: Happy Gotham Holidays

Hey everybody, Jason from MNPP here with our final edition of "Beauty vs Beast" for 2016 -- we will be back after the holidays... as long as the world still exists. (Lately I wonder.) Until then let's think happy thoughts (or die trying) and consider one of my favorite holiday movies, Tim Burton's Batman Returns. I was just reading a piece on the film this morning, placing its bleak worldview of politics against our own (I did say these were happy thoughts right?) so the movie's feeling fresh as a bowl of milk. And there's always room beside my Xmas tree for these two great villains - as The Penguin at one point says to Miss Kitty...

"You're Beauty and the Beast in one luscious Christmas gift pack."

PREVIOUSLY Since Star Wars is in the air last week we forced you all to take sides between the greatest bickering space pair since Dave disconnected HAL - beating Han Solo himself is no small feat (he shoots first, remember) so give it up to Princess Leia, who hair-rolled away with just under 60% of your vote. Said tom:

"She has one of the most famous wardrobes in movie history, an entire fleet at her disposal, and her sidekick is gold. His best friend is a walking carpet - her words. I think she wins."

Beauty vs Beast: Meet The Solos

Jason from MNPP here, telling you something you maybe weren't sure of: did you know there's a new Star Wars movie out this weekend? You heard it here first! It's called Rogue One and it's probably going to make several dollars. At least. We've used the Star Wars universe for our "Beauty vs Beast" series before (see right here) but there are so many characters to choose from (and duos at that) I could probably do a new one once every month and never run dry. But for now I feel like celebrating the greatest galactic love story of our time (not to mention of a time long ago)... and I do mean "celebrating" as "forcefully shoving them apart and making you people choose sides" of course...

PREVIOUSLY We were feeling Jackie Fever last week and so we took on Oliver Stone's JFK -- unlike the Oscars though we ended up favoring Kevin Costner's terrifically righteous star turn as the conspiracy-mad prosecutor Jim Garrison with 63% of our vote - said Edward L:

"I had to vote Jim Garrison too. It was close...but the "just can't find it" line swayed me in his direction (and made me laugh)! ... I don't think the Academy had had their fill of Costner, I think it was simply more the case that Best Actor that year was very competitive and there was simply no room ultimately for Kevin."

Beauty vs Beast: Grassy Knoll Ethics

Jason from MNPP here with an under-the-weather edition of "Beauty vs Beast" - apologies if I am brief and lacking some spark today, I'm staring at my computer screen from the business end of a box of kleenex and with one too many sudafed capsules dotting my system. I bring up my sickness not to be (entirely) self-indulgent but to explain why I didn't make it out to see Jackie this weekend as I'd planned - every cough feels like a cinematic betrayal right now.

So until me and Natalie can rendezvous with our matching pink pillboxes I will ask you today to look backwards at the previous biggest Kennedy assassination movie on the books, Oliver Stone's JFK. I don't remember the Oscar race that year but I'm kind of surprised Costner wasn't nominated for the film - maybe they'd had their fill with Dances With Wolves the year before? Tommy Lee Jones was nominated for the movie though, for the poodle-mopped conspiracy sissy at the center of the mystery, and so I ask you...

PREVIOUSLY We're on an Almodovar kick thanks to the retrospective at MoMA right now so last week we climbed into bed and slipped our hands into the sex ropes for Antonio Banderas in Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down! - he took 56% of the vote over Victoria Abril's 44. Said thefilmjunkie:

"If I were voting with my head I'd probably go for Marina, but my vote for Ricky was guided by more, um, prurient interests. I have no shame. I regret nothing."

Beauty vs Beast: Love Bound

Jason from MNPP here back from turkey break and prepping a fresh "Beauty vs Beast" for y'all to feast upon. The Spanish provocateur Pedro Almodovar's latest film Julieta (which our pal Manuel reviewed right here via the New York Film Festival) opens in the U.S. in just a couple of weeks and so the Museum of Modern Art is celebrating all things Almodovar with a great big retrospective, starting tomorrow. The series runs through mid-December and they're showing pretty much everything he's made - don't miss out!

And so in turn for this week's "Beauty vs Beast" I'm asking you to look back to Almodovar's 1990 romantic comedy of kinky kidnapping, Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down! (aka ¡Átame!) and its rope-crossed lovers -- Ricky (Antonio Banderas), fresh off the psych ward, and Marina (Victoria Abril), the actress and recovered drug addict who finds herself on the receiving end of Ricky's deranged affections.

PREVIOUSLY Last week's contest between Gaston and The Beast from Disney's Beauty & the Beast went back and forth and back and forth between the two big strapping hairy-chested menfolk in belle's life for awhile, but in the end true romance won out - y'all softies - and The Beast took it home with 55% of your vote. Said Nick T:

"Kudos to Gaston for having such a great song, but The Beast is such a lovely character. Even if my memory of him is blurrier, it's still warm."

Beauty vs Beast: Beast vs Gaston

Jason from MNPP here with this week's "Beauty vs Beast" -- tomorrow marks the 25th anniversary of Disney's magnificent Beauty and the Beast, which is my favorite animated movie of theirs and I have a feeling I'm not alone in feeling that way. I mean Belle is clearly the greatest Disney Princess, Gaston is clearly the sexiest villain, and THAT LIBRARY. Yes, Yess, and YASSSSSS.

We've still got a few months before the live-action remake with Emma Watson and Dan Stevens (not to mention notedly hairless Luke Evans) hits theaters, which seems strange to me - doesn't it seem like right here and right now, at this anniversary and in time for the holidays, would've been the perfect time to drop the film? Well nobody asked me to run Disney (not yet anyway) so I suppose they will make their own decisions - if I was running Disney and someone had come to me suggesting they remake perfection I probably would've beaten them out of my office with the nearest candlestick anyway.

PREVIOUSLY Fantastic Beasts won the weekend box office handily but more importantly Harry Potter kicked Voldemort's butt in last week's contest here, taking just under 80% of your votes. Said LadyEdith:

"Jason you are definitely hitting a nerve here, I've been using a lot of HP for this election. Hermione was a great stand in for A student Hillary Clinton. Considering the rise of death eaters I think more of us are choosing Harry."