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Beauty vs. Beast

SADIE or ROSE? 
It's a tight race this week
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COMMENT(s) DU JOUR
SMACKDOWN 89
Julia vs. Anjelica vs Dianne vs. Brenda vs. Lena

"all i can remember of julia roberts in steel magnolias is her playing her diabetic meltdown like she was linda blair in the exorcist- Par

""Don't talk about me like I'm not here!" Don't worry Julia, I mostly have nice things to say...- Tom

"wish Wiest would come back to claim her stature as the Walter Brennan of Supporting Actress Oscar winners -- she's one shy of three." - /3rtful

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Entries in Beauty vs Beast (29)

Monday
Sep012014

Beauty vs Beast: Sister City, Sister Bumpkin

JA from MNPP here with today's very special Labor Day edition of our "Beauty vs Beast" series. Whether you're employed crunching numbers and dodging bitchy CEOs in the big city offices of Moramax or you've opted for the more laidback homey halls of the Hollowmade factory down in Jupiter Hollow, West Virginia, I hope we can all take a breather from doing the work we love today to unite over one indisputable fact - Lily Tomlin, who is turning 75 today, is a national treasure.

Clearly we've chosen 1988's twin comedy Big Business as this week's theme - as I was eleven and deep in a Bette Midler phase when this film came out I hope you'll forgive me for admitting this movie means a lot to me. (I have previously done an extensive appreciation over at my own site.) Rewatching it for the possibly one millionth time this weekend it's impossible for me to tell if it's actually any good or if it's just so deep-seated inside of me I can't see the forest for the Plaza Hotel.

But man does it make me laugh, and I go back and forth each time between who's funnier: Lily Tomlin as City Rose (slapstick with muffins and dogs in elevators) and Country Rose (Rattlesnake bracelets and water-tight frog asses) or Bette Midler as Country Sadie (Lee Press On Nails and UFOs) and City Sadie (Blood Clots and Tiaras). So I'm making y'all pick!

 

Before anybody says anything yes I was torn between doing the poll this way and asking you to choose Country Sisters vs City Sisters instead, but a showdown between the two actresses ultimately won that dispute in my mind. If you'd like to offer up your cases whichever way in the comments though, feel free! You have seven days.

PREVIOUSLY Last week we were wishing Sean Connery a happy birthday by dipping our Goldfinger into the James Bond pool, and sure enough it's that wascally secret agent who floated to the top with a whopping 77% of the vote. Said Henry:

"Seriously? Put Bond against Bond or Villain against Villain and you might have a fight, but there is no way a Bond can lose against anyone but an equal and Bond has no equals."

Monday
Aug252014

Beauty Vs Beast: Double Oh Golden Boys

JA from MNPP here, using this week's round of our "Beauty vs Beast" series to commemorate the occasion of the 84th anniversary of the birth of that paragon of brute debonair charm, Sean Connery. Who even knew "brute" and "debonair" could be a simultaneous thing til he showed us? Rock 'em sock 'em and shake them martinis, it's a Bond off. I waffled between a couple of villains to face him off against - I do love Dr. No and his awesome plastic head bubble - but when it comes to a bigger-than-bad personality I think the odds are in Gold's favor.

 

I just flicked the laser's ON switch - you have one week to make your choice before your bits-and-pieces get all crispy-like, so maybe make it timely this week? I mean, I'm only thinking of your privates.

PREVIOUSLY We dove down under da sea to duke it out between Disney's ginger mermaid princess and the big bad brassy sea-hag whos after her pipes... well poor sweet Ariel kinda never stood a chance against so much divine deliciousness; Ursula swam off with a pirate booty's full two-thirds of the vote. Said Alan P:

"Ariel may be the leading lady we all love, but a diva is a diva, and a diva is forever!"

Tuesday
Aug192014

Beauty vs Beast: Fish Witch

JA from MNPP here with this week's mite-late edition of this week's "Beauty Vs Beast" - sorry for the unexpected day-long delay, what can we say, a sea-witch stole our voice from us. Coincidentally The Film Experience is celebrating the year 1989 in the lead up to this month's Supporting Actress Showdown and whaddya know 1989 was the year that another gorgeous princess, not myself, had the exact same thing happen to her! I handled it with a much finer degree of decorum, natch, but she got Prince Eric so she wins. (Mmmm Prince Eric.) Yes I speak of Disney's The Little Mermaid, which is bringing us this week's animated face-off.

 

Life's full of tough choices... innit??? I feel like this one could go either way really, so making you cases in the comments could prove important. Sway the little fishies this way or that, people.

PREVIOUSLY If you felt a little falling sensation - kinda simultaneously plummeting forward and back - as you picked between Jimmy Stewart and Kim Novak in last week's Vertigo round you ultimately made like Hitch and came out blonde - well blonde eventually (inevitably) anyway - in the end. Judy, poor poor Judy, won your sympathies along with 71% of the vote. Said Leslie19:

"Judy is the perfect Hitchcockian heroine: A blonde puzzle, with a past. A great wardrobe and the perfect palette for techicolor, in this case his use of green. Is there anything more to say?"

Tuesday
Aug122014

Beauty vs Beast: All About the Blonde

JA from MNPP here. At this point it feels more than a little cliche to call Alfred Hitchcock your favorite film-maker. Tomorrow is his 115th birthday and it feels like we've spent at least double that amount of time writing about and reacting to how great, twisted, funny, pervy and technically masterful he was. Hitch is often the gateway drug, the little puff of movie marijuana that leads true cineastes on to the hard stuff.

I'll always come back to my first taste. It was the sweetest, the purest, and it still sends that shiver down my spine. I remember the first time I realized that movies, Movies, these are the thing I love, laying on my cousin's floor watching a camera sweep across across a boxy Manhattan backyard filled with windows into another world, stories in shorthand of life on top of life, all at once. It was everything. It still is everything.

So let's pay our respects by devoting this week's "Beauty vs Beast" to the man who made me interested in the ambiguities of the "good" guys and the "bad" guys in the first place, and let's do it with the movie that finally tossed Citizen Kane down the staircase.

 

You only have six days to vote this week since we're running a day behind (sorry about the delay) so get to it - bleach yourself, slide into a gray dress, wander through a redwood forest or some neon green light, do whatever it takes - just pick and make your case in the comments!

PREVIOUSLY Last week we were talking about the blonde presuasion as well - Charlize Theron and Patrick Wilson faced off again in a Young Adult redux. Wilson's Buddy might be the nice guy, willing to clean up baby burps and all that, but he never stood a chance against mean girl-woman Mavis. CMG put is succinctly:

"Mavis. Buddy is blind and seems dumb. The end."

Monday
Aug042014

Beauty vs Beast: The Monster From Mini Apple

JA from MNPP here, and I think we've got some Charlize Theron fans up in here, correct? While we ache away on our insides for Mad Max: Fury Road to get here (May seems so far away) let's give her one of her very own "Beauty vs. Beast" tributes to pass the time.

I contemplated going the Snow White route but that seemed kinda obvious so the best Charlize movie instead. Jason Retiman's 2011 too-cool-for-Oscar flick Young Adult is endlessly rewatchable... as long as you get off on cringing through your laughter and watching a wonderful actress wield her beauty like a weapon.

One that cuts both ways - watching Mavis be stripped of her beautification accoutrement (those sad silicone inserts) becomes a perverse sort of deglamming that would have made Aileen Wuornos blush. And Patrick Wilson's no slouch - he always gets taken for granted as the premiere amiable suburban object, but Buddy's a sharp portrait of a dude who's never had to give too much thought to things having a whole lot of thought smashed his way in way too short a time.

 

You have one week to cast your vote for the prom king or the prom queen and let us know why in the comments - and give Charlize your birthday wishes while you're at it!

PREVIOUSLY Even though we tried to bribe you a little bit by showing off Tom Hanks' surprisingly fabulous gams, you were having none of it on the occasion of Turner & Hooch's 25th anniversary - slobbery though he may have been it's just a general rule that you're never gonna beat an adorable doggy. Hooch bounded away with just short of 70% of the vote; said Henry:

"As a cat person, I would ordinarily choose the human......but my fourth (or was it fifth) husband was a neatnik. I'll take slobbery over Felix Ungernesseryness any day."