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Entries in Beauty vs Beast (115)

Monday
Jun272016

Beauty vs Beast: The Original Maze Runner

Jason from MNPP here using the ocassion of another's week's "Beauty vs Beast" to give good goblin love to one of our favorite 80s kid's movies: Jim Henson's Labyrinth is turning 30 today! The film was released on June 27th 1986, and to folks my age it became pretty much an instant classic. Labyrinth tells a tale as old as time - girl babysits, girl wishes baby away to David Bowie, David Bowie's innappropriate bulge mesmerizes an eight-year-old me, so on and so forth. What's not to love? I saw Jennifer Connolly on the subway once and it took all the restraint inside of me not to yell, "Your mother is a fraggin' aardvark!" at her.

PREVIOUSLY It was the start of the endless summer season last week so what better way to 'celebrate" than by looking back at the romantic-comedy that dragged it out to (500) Days - in the end it was the dancing charms of Joseph Gordon-Levitt that won your heart (at least for a few months anyway) with 57% of the vote. Said Noecitos:

"Team Tom! If only because of the inspired fanfic writers who paired him with Tom Hardy's character in Warrior."

Monday
Jun202016

Beauty vs Beast: The Dog Days of Romance

Jason from MNPP here at "Beauty vs Beast" o'clock, wishing everybody the happiest First Day of Summer possible... and if you're like me and you hate this season as much as I do then that includes a locked door, some drawn shades, and an air conditioner on full blast. Heat! Sweat! Sunshine! Blah! I want none of it. I have the opposite of what Mama Cass had in "California Dreamin'" - I dream of such a winter's day. (And that's why I live in NYC.) But you know what? There are only 93 days of Summer... it could be worse!

PREVIOUSLY Knowing full well that Finding Dory was about to flood the marketplace we went Pixar-themed last week too, asking y'all to pick sides in the Great Toy Battle of 1995 - Are you a Buzz or are you a Woody? Turns out that 75% of you are Woodies, who knew? Said BVR:

"I love that Pixar resisted the urge to endear Woody to us, instead playing up the mad, jealous, even scheming nature that springs from within as he sees his #1 status being gradually taken away. You would think this would make me vote for Buzz, who seems totally innocent, delusional and oblivious to Woody's schemes; but as funny as that quality is, I just love Woody for being so flawed and human."

Monday
Jun132016

Beauty vs Beast: Spaceman Blues

Jason from MNPP here - it's time for another "Beauty vs Beast" y'all! Today's we're talking Pixar because of two reasons -- first off their sequel Finding Dory is out this weekend, prepped to splash magic across the summer box office. And next off it's the 63rd birthday of Tim Allen today, whose greatest role (give or take a Galaxy Quest) came divorced from his physical being, his essence siphoned into Pixar's patented pixels and then tossed into the greatest toy box there ever was with 1995's Toy Story. Can you imagine a world with Buzz Lightyear or Woody the well-meaning cotton-stuffed cowpoke? I thought not. But try to remember that once upon a time they were more at each other's throats than anything else, and then take your sides...

PREVIOUSLY Last week we stormed onto the primary-color-coated set of the soap opera satire Soapdish, maneuvered ourselves between the divas and dimbulbs, and asked you to choose between the Queen Bee and the Crazy Bitch - well with 60% of the vote once again Celeste Talbert (Sally Field) has made her way to that podium. Said Sawyer:

"'What am I, 70, David? Why don't you just put me in a walker? Buy a goddamn walker and put me in it!' #celesteforever"

Monday
Jun062016

Beauty vs Beast: The Sun Also Sets

Jason from MNPP here with this week's edition of "Beauty vs Beast" - I think I must have had fever of the brain (to the lay-person that's called Kopfgeschlagen) last week because somehow I didn't take advantage of the 25th anniversary of one of my most favorite comedies of ever, Michael Hoffmann's Soapdish, the fizzy slapstick tale of backstage shenanigans at a daytime soap opera full of narcissistic psychopaths. Somewhere in the late 90s I wore out my VHS I watched this movie so many times - Soapdish is one you could stand me in front of a crowd, tell me to go, and I could perform the entire thing from start to finish, from crawdad butts to Tawny the Tweety-Bird Couturie.

The cast is to a tee in top form - even semi-cameos like Carrie Fisher's classic bitch Betsy Faye Sharon leave impressions so sharp I can summon up their character-names on command. But it's the poisonous rivalry between show queen Celeste Talbert (Sally Field) and "Nurse Nan" Montana Moorehead (Cathy Moriarty) that gives this Soap its eternal dishiness...

PREVIOUSLY With what could turn out to be her final X-Men movie we took the opportunity to say goodbye to Jennifer Lawrence's two blockbuster turns, and Katniss carried the day to the tune of about 80% of your vote - said Tom:

"I thought she was quite good in First Class (and looked great in that mod costuming). But it seems that her heart was always more focused on Katniss than Mystique. She openly expressed that she doesn't really wish to return to the role. She never seemed bored as Katniss, a complaint often lodged at her in regards to her X-Men performance."

Tuesday
May312016

Beauty vs Beast: Franchise First Class

Jason from MNPP here hoping everyone here in the States had a good holiday weekend and outside the States then just a plain good weekend, period -- I spent a good three hours (including something like half an hour of trailers) of my weekend in the theater watching the new X-Men movie, as did a few of you (not enough to make the studio happy though) and I gotta say I agree with Nat's take on it - mediocre stuff that needed to embrace its silliness more often. I'd love for just one superhero movie to be about something other than superpowers being the worst burden in all the world, ya know?

Anyway I found myself thinking a lot about Jennifer Lawrence during and after the film - god she seemed miserable, didn't she? She delivered her lines with all the passion of a smurf cadaver. That said I wouldn't be surprised if they could coerce her, with dollars, to revisit Mystique in the future... but for the time being at least she has no contractual obligations to her two big franchises. If she chose to from here on out she could make nothing but David O. Russell movies. (Imagine...) So let's look back at what was.

PREVIOUSLY It was Cillian Murphy against Rachel McAdams in a random Red Eye revisit last week, and it was Bay Breezes for everybody - McAdams' flight-bound final girl took just over 60% of the vote. Said Derreck:

"Team Lisa because she was quick and resourceful. They had the oddest chemistry going on to the point where if he wasn't all terroristy, it would have been nice if they went out for a drink at the end of the movie. But you know, murder and all tends to get in the way of that. Always the years, always the love, always the murder."

Monday
May232016

Beauty vs Beast: Cillian Time

Howdy and Happy Monday, folks, Jason from MNPP here with your "Beauty vs Beast" for the week - this time around we're wishing the great and still somehow under-rated Cillian Murphy a happy 40th birthday! He hits the milestone on Wednesday, and we couldn't be happier to watch him age - his smooth-skinned preternatural prettiness was kind of too much to look at once upon a time. Time has made him seem more human, less alien and terrifying, which on the one hand is a loss, but I think that he's a great enough actor that it's one he can overcome with ease.

Anyway in his honor we're stepping back to a role that, contrary to everything I just said, showed him at his most human and his most terrifying all at once, with Wes Craven's terrifically entertaining 2005 thriller Red Eye. Cillian Murphy plays Jackson Rippner (yes really!), the viscious cat to Rachel McAdams' determined little mouse Lisa, and they Tom-n-Jerry each other all over an airplane. S'good times!

PREVIOUSLY We put on our best brave face to face off the mother-daughter team of Terms of Endearment, and in the end it was "Big Momma" MacLaine who stuck her head through the sunroof to victory, taking about 64% of the vote. Said Suzanne:

"Aurora is winning because Shirley MacLaine is one of the great screen actresses but somehow doesn't seem to get enough credit. Also because I voted for her on each of my electronic devices."

Monday
May162016

Beauty vs Beast: Daughter Dearest

Howdy, folks - Jason from MNPP here with this week's edition of "Beauty vs Beast" is which we'll be celebrating the 61st birthday of the great Debra Winger. I assume most of you, being right and proper actressexuals, have seen the terrific documentary bearing her name Searching For Debra Winger, but if not, get on that. I haven't seen it since it came out in 2002 and part of me wonders if it's maybe, hopefully, begun to feel a bit dated? That film feeling dated can only be a good thing because it means roles for actresses are getting better. If nothing else, Winger herself has been working somewhat steadily over the past few years with recent roles on In Treatment and the Netflix series The Ranch.

All that said, we're really here today for Classic Winger...

PREVIOUSLY Two weeks back we celebrated the sexy time that is A Bigger Splash with a glance back at its original (and also sexy) incarnation, 1969's La Piscine - stuffing the ballot box like he did those speedos, Alain Delon carried off about 80% of your votes. Said Steven:

"Alain Delon>>>>>>>every young pretty boy out there in Hollywood."