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Michelle Pfeiffer and Grease 2

"I can't pass a ladder without seriously considering whether I should climb it and start belting Cool Rider" -Joey

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Entries in Beauty vs Beast (148)

Monday
Jan302017

Beauty vs Beast: Witchy Women

Jason from MNPP here, tackling one of my favoirte movies of all-time for this week's edition of "Beauty vs Beast" -- unless it's Halloween-time I mostly try to lean away from horror films for this series but I gotta make an exception this week, for Wednesday marks the 40th anniversary of Dario Argento's fairy-tale giallo Suspiria getting released in Italy. I love that the movie came out just in time for Valentine's Day - with its lurid reds (not to mention a character being stabbed directly in the heart) it feels tremulously appropriate for the season.

It's also a timely moment to celebrate the movie because as you might've heard A Bigger Splash and I Am Love director Luca Guadagnino is currently right this minute in the process of remaking the film, with a starry cast including Tilda Swinton and Dakota Johnson and Chloe Grace Moretz. Oh and Jessica Harper, the star of the original film, will appear as well! If only Joan Bennett & Alida Valli, the wickedly cruel mistresses of the dance academy, were still around for cameos...

PREVIOUSLY One week ago we were still holding out hope for the hopeless, aka a ton of surprise Oscar nominations for Yorgos Lanthimos' The Lobster. But we're happy it got that one nomination at least, and that we got to give love to its two key supporting men - and of the two Ben Whishaw kicked John C. Reilly square in the chin, taking 70% of your vote. And I gotta go with what Nathaniel had to say:

"Team John always. I admire the committment, injuring himself for love. or rather "love""

Monday
Jan232017

Beauty vs Beast: Colin Farrell's Best Friends Forever

Jason from MNPP here on the eve of Oscar nominations wishing you all a good night's rest tonight - I know how you'll all be tossing and turning with visions of little golden sugar-plum statues dancing in your heads. Until then let's use this week's "Beauty vs Beast" to tackle one of the greatest movies of 2016 which may or may not get a single nomination tomorrow but if you ask me it'd be up for La La level awardage - Yorgos Lanthimos' The Lobster. And I want to further tune in one two of its finest yet totally unsung turns, both of which I maintain are as fine as any in the conversation for Supporting Actor - Ben Whishaw as John the Limping Man, and John C Reilly as Robert the Lisping Man.

PREVIOUSLY Last week it was John Carpenter's birthday so we looked through our x-ray goggles at his 1988 anti-consumerist actioner They Live, and once again it was "Rowdy" Roddy Piper's chance to pound some alien butt. Said Steven:

"I'm here to kick ass and chew bubblegum and I'm all out of bubblegum. For the Hot Rod. Still miss that man."

Monday
Jan162017

Beauty vs Beast: Disobey

Jason from MNPP here. I probably wouldn't have thought about John Carpenter's 1988 goofy sci-fi classic They Live in relation to politics this year if the film hadn't been dragged kicking and screaming into the conversation by a bunch of Donald Trump's Nazi followers (in my best Carrie Bradshaw voice-over voice: "And so I wondered -- are the terms 'Nazi' and 'Donald Trump Follower' redundant?").

But now that the film has been dragged into the conversation a story about a bunch of elite monsters blinding the populace while they loot the Earth doesn't exactly sound like the world's most far-out science-fiction story these days. So with the Inauguration looming like an orange-haired mushroom cloud before us - and, on a less fatalistic note, with it being John Carpenter's 69th birthday today - let's assume our places.

PREVIOUSLY You guys gave me hope for humanity with last week's competition facing off the two Best Actress winners from the Globes - that's not meant as a knock on Emma Stone or her performance in La La Land but if a performance as sharp and unfriendly as Isabelle Huppert's in Elle can grab 70% of our vote, then maybe one day Yes We Can again. Said Evan:

"Let's not kid ourselves: Michele could gut Mia with that ax and then send a letter of condolence back to Mia's folks in Boulder City, all before "le petit dejeuner.""

Monday
Jan092017

Beauty vs Beast: Elle La La

Jason from MNPP here with this week's post-Globes edition of "Beauty vs Beast" - a big congratulations to all of last night's winners (yes even Aaron Johnson - I liked that movie; sue me) but especially to the actresses, because duh. This is The Film Experience.

So are Emma Stone and Isabelle Huppert the front-runners now for Best Actress now? I mean I don't want to jinx myself...

Click to read more ...

Monday
Dec192016

Beauty vs Beast: Happy Gotham Holidays

Hey everybody, Jason from MNPP here with our final edition of "Beauty vs Beast" for 2016 -- we will be back after the holidays... as long as the world still exists. (Lately I wonder.) Until then let's think happy thoughts (or die trying) and consider one of my favorite holiday movies, Tim Burton's Batman Returns. I was just reading a piece on the film this morning, placing its bleak worldview of politics against our own (I did say these were happy thoughts right?) so the movie's feeling fresh as a bowl of milk. And there's always room beside my Xmas tree for these two great villains - as The Penguin at one point says to Miss Kitty...

"You're Beauty and the Beast in one luscious Christmas gift pack."

PREVIOUSLY Since Star Wars is in the air last week we forced you all to take sides between the greatest bickering space pair since Dave disconnected HAL - beating Han Solo himself is no small feat (he shoots first, remember) so give it up to Princess Leia, who hair-rolled away with just under 60% of your vote. Said tom:

"She has one of the most famous wardrobes in movie history, an entire fleet at her disposal, and her sidekick is gold. His best friend is a walking carpet - her words. I think she wins."

Monday
Dec122016

Beauty vs Beast: Meet The Solos

Jason from MNPP here, telling you something you maybe weren't sure of: did you know there's a new Star Wars movie out this weekend? You heard it here first! It's called Rogue One and it's probably going to make several dollars. At least. We've used the Star Wars universe for our "Beauty vs Beast" series before (see right here) but there are so many characters to choose from (and duos at that) I could probably do a new one once every month and never run dry. But for now I feel like celebrating the greatest galactic love story of our time (not to mention of a time long ago)... and I do mean "celebrating" as "forcefully shoving them apart and making you people choose sides" of course...

PREVIOUSLY We were feeling Jackie Fever last week and so we took on Oliver Stone's JFK -- unlike the Oscars though we ended up favoring Kevin Costner's terrifically righteous star turn as the conspiracy-mad prosecutor Jim Garrison with 63% of our vote - said Edward L:

"I had to vote Jim Garrison too. It was close...but the "just can't find it" line swayed me in his direction (and made me laugh)! ... I don't think the Academy had had their fill of Costner, I think it was simply more the case that Best Actor that year was very competitive and there was simply no room ultimately for Kevin."

Monday
Dec052016

Beauty vs Beast: Grassy Knoll Ethics

Jason from MNPP here with an under-the-weather edition of "Beauty vs Beast" - apologies if I am brief and lacking some spark today, I'm staring at my computer screen from the business end of a box of kleenex and with one too many sudafed capsules dotting my system. I bring up my sickness not to be (entirely) self-indulgent but to explain why I didn't make it out to see Jackie this weekend as I'd planned - every cough feels like a cinematic betrayal right now.

So until me and Natalie can rendezvous with our matching pink pillboxes I will ask you today to look backwards at the previous biggest Kennedy assassination movie on the books, Oliver Stone's JFK. I don't remember the Oscar race that year but I'm kind of surprised Costner wasn't nominated for the film - maybe they'd had their fill with Dances With Wolves the year before? Tommy Lee Jones was nominated for the movie though, for the poodle-mopped conspiracy sissy at the center of the mystery, and so I ask you...

PREVIOUSLY We're on an Almodovar kick thanks to the retrospective at MoMA right now so last week we climbed into bed and slipped our hands into the sex ropes for Antonio Banderas in Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down! - he took 56% of the vote over Victoria Abril's 44. Said thefilmjunkie:

"If I were voting with my head I'd probably go for Marina, but my vote for Ricky was guided by more, um, prurient interests. I have no shame. I regret nothing."