Chloë Moretz is Ruining My Life
Thursday, November 8, 2012 at 12:00PM 
It's been so long since I had a cinematic arch-enemy: Daughter of Tippi who haunted my youth is rarely onscreen; The Swankster is hibernating (it can't be long before a "comeback" though, right?); Zeéeeee has receded so suddenly that it's feeling like Meg Ryan 2.0 (and Meg never deserved the sub zero shoulder she got so abruptly); and Nicolas Cage has marginalized himself into the peripheries of bargain bin movies... though he still has an uncanny ability to find ways to co-star with my most beloved leading ladies of various eras (Turner, Cher, Streep, Moore, Kidman).
Enter Chloë Grace Moretz.
It's been so long since I had a cinematic arch-enemy maybe I should try to enjoy this. In a "boo hiss" sort of way, mind you. In addition to Chloë's general smug ubiquity and her sacriligeous miscasting in the Carrie remake alongside my goddess Julianne Moore (who should know better post Hannibal) she has now decided to double down on forcing me to look at her; she's attaching herself like a parasite to my all time favorite actress. She's already played Michelle Pfeiffer's daughter once in Dark Shadows. She's doing it again in Tim Robbins next directorial effort. The film, which Robbins will also star in, is called Man Under.
In the vein of "American Beauty" and "The Royal Tenenbaums," pic follows a Yonkers family whose lives are changed forever when a photo of them ends up in the Museum of Modern Art.
Now, there's no word yet on if they're officially mother and daughter again this time but considering it's a movie about a troubled family, it's a safe bet.
The silver lining? At least this means Michelle Pfeiffer wasn't lying when she said she wanted to get back to work. If filming gets under way soon on this one, we'll have two Pfeiffer pictures in 2013! See also the crime comedy Malavita.