The Gay Fantasia of the 'Fast' Series

Christopher James has taken over The Film Experience. Buckle up, it's going to be a bumpy day (hopefully Nathaniel's flight from Venice is less bumpy)

Is this a Sean Cody video you'd like to watch? Good news, there are nine (technically ten) of these movies.By: Christopher James

The men race cars because they can’t kiss.

They also sleep with the other’s sister, because that’s the only way they can be family (in their minds).

In 2001, The Fast and the Furious had a big climax where a group of street racers heisted DVD players. Twenty years later, Ludacris and Tyrese Gibson go to space IN A CAR and wax on about invincibility. This is punctuated with a joke about their makeshift spacesuits making them look like minions. No franchise has morphed and changed more than the Fast & Furious franchise. Also, no other franchise has been as homoerotic. This isn't a new observation, but it still needs to be shouted from the rooftops. Now that Fast 9 is available to buy - buckle up, grab a bucket of Corona, and have the binge of your life!

Simply put, the Fast & Furious has something for everyone… as long as you are up for the insanity. It is pure drag machismo, and all most are in on the joke. Spoilers ahead, though really they should just make you want to watch them all.

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The Fast and I'm Furious: Ranking every film in the franchise

by Spencer Coile 

Dating back to 2001 with the premiere of The Fast and the Furious, the Furious franchise has become something of a centerpiece of the action genre. Watching the shenanigans of Paul Walker, Vin Diesel, and company across the span of seven films in sixteen years is quite the rollercoaster ride of quality. Ranging from the good, the bad, and the ugly, it is especially interesting to note the progression of the film series; they initially started as mindless entertainement to... well, even more mindless entertainment, but with some awe-inspiring action sequences with a blatant theme of family and togetherness. Even after the death of Paul Walker, the franchise continues. 

In preparation for the latest foray into the canon, the eigth film (they aren't all numbered) The Fate of the Furious, I decided to sit down with each of the seven preceding movies and evaluate each on their own merits, but also how they function in the series as a whole. I'd seen a whopping zero of them before this marathon! How many have you seen?

Ranking the Fast and the Furious Franchise...

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Review: Furious 7

Michael C. here admitting upfront that I was wary about the prospect of reviewing an entry in the Fast/Furious franchise. The risk is that a movie like this turns one into a caricature of a film critic, a Frasier Crane type watching the movie through a pair of opera glasses, scoffing and harrumphing at the schlock on the screen. The kind of killjoy who cranks out the cane-shaking screed about how 'in MY DAY car movie had GRAVITAS, not the weightless, video game CRAP that these damn KIDS shell out for! Something, something, Steve McQueen.'

So I am relieved that seventh entry in the franchise did not force me into that unappealing position. Unlike the recent Kingsman, which spoiled the fun of its goofy action with a rancid attitude, I can endorse Furious 7 if only for the tone of goofy positivity maintained by director James Wan. These films are, as they never tire of repeating, all about family. Family and loyalty and introducing every third scene with a shot of a babe’s bikini-clad ass. Getting worked up over the lack of realism on display is like chastising a toddler smashing his Tonka trucks together because, actually, that’s not how to use a cement mixer properly.

More...

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Posterized: Fast & Furious

Furious 7 went from 0 to 4004 (theaters) today and is certain to collect huge box office bounty this weekend. The other films have been hits and then there's the morbid curiousity factor of saying goodbye to Paul Walker which may lure back moviegoers who haven't really been paying attention. That would include me. I only realized today, looking over this list, that the first film is the only one I've seen in theaters... though it seems like I've seen them all (is it cable showings, or their interchangeability as suggested by their very similar posters, minor variations in titles, and cast lists?)  

Cast List by numbers: Vin Diesel & Paul Walker (6 films); Jordana Brewster & Sung Kang (5 films); Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese Gibson, Chris 'Ludacris' Bridges & Gal Gadot (4 films); Dwayne Johnson & Elsa Pataky (3 films); Lucas Black, Luke Evans, Eva Mendes, Laz Alonso, Don Omar, John Ortiz, Matt Schulze, Shea Wigham (2 films)

The Fast and The Furious (2001, Rob Cohen)
2 Fast 2 Furious (2003, John Singleton) - aka the only one without Vin Diesel. 
The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006, Justin Lin) - aka the only one without Paul Walker... but its the biggest detour as the cast list is mostly different. Only Vin Diesel shows up of the originals and one the fourth film hits, everyone seems to be back for good.
Fast & Furious (2009, Justin Lin) - the principle cast all returns
Fast Five (2011, Justin Lin) - aka the one where The Rock joins
Fast & Furious 6 (2013, Justin Lin)
Furious 7 (2015, James Wan) aka Paul Walker's swansong

So how many have you seen?  And are you hitting the seventh entry this weekend? 

Linkville

Television Blend Baz Luhrmann may direct Napoleon as a miniseries for television
House Next Door on the Oscar prospects of August: Osage County. Yet another critic who thinks Julia is the MVP. I'm mystified but congrats, Julia!
In Contention wonders if The Wolf of Wall Street is just what Oscar season ordered? We know that the SAG screening went sensationally well in Los Angeles. Our friend Paul, who we just featured in Reader Spotlight, thinks Leonardo DiCaprio is now the Best Actor frontrunner and tweeted this photo from the festivities:

And then they plied us with food, alcohol and music. Unnecessary, but yum. #howlingwolf @kristapley @nathanielr pic.twitter.com/QFXsU8nK0a

— Paul Outlaw (@poutlaw) December 1, 2013

Cinema Blend Jurassic World not a reboot (thank god) but a sequel set 22 years in future. Chris Pratt, suddenly in demand since slimming down and bulking up for ZDT, rumored for lead.
Variety Fernando Eimbcke's Club Sandwich wins the Turin Fest. We interviewed its actress icymi. 

RIP Paul Walker (1973-2013)
And finally, as you've undoubtedly heard by now, Paul Walker died yesterday in a car accident in California en route to or from a charity event of all things. Terrible. He was 40 years old. The actor starred in all but one of the six episodes of the big screen series The Fast and Furious. It's worth noting that The Fast and the Furious 7 is currently filming. There's no word yet on exactly how and what they'll do to finish it without him but the movie will undoubtedly move forward.

The original F&F franchise director Rob Cohen told Variety:

His American beauty, his athleticism, the directness of his approach to the character, his effusive, down-to-earth personality brought joy to me and everyone around him."

Aside from the F&F franchise we'll remember him most for that All American b&w jock beauty in  Pleasantville (1998) and one of the best B movies of the early Aughts Joy Ride (2001).