Cannes Red Carpet 2: Dystopian Glamour + Illicit Flats
Thursday, May 21, 2015 at 3:07PM We return to Cannes glamour...
NATHANIEL: It has been a full week since the last Red Carpet conversation which is INEXCUSABLE, this being Cannes but the sheer volume of dresses (and I'm not talking about size though there is some of that) but quantity have made it rather daunting. So let's discuss 11 looks today.
Before we get to the lineups, I don't much care for white dresses at events unless someone is getting hitched so Zoe Kravitz is the only one out of an original multiperson white lineup I was going to do. Because I think the extension braids totally complete the look.
JOSE: Rooney Mara corners the market on bridal couture on the red carpet in my opinion, but Zoe looks really nice too! I wish she would've worn this in Mad Max instead of looking so dirty. That movie did nothing for my OCD. I wanted to hand everyone a gallon of Purell
NATHANIEL: I love that her name in Fury Road was "Toast the Knowing".... LOL. You can't expect toast to not have that scrape off burnt layer though personally i think Zoe and her fellow rogue sex slaves looked pretty immaculate considering the white wraps and that they were riding UNDERNEATH A FUEL TRUCK.
JOSE: They needed more Valentino though! Have they learned nothing from looking glamorous in dystopia? Madonna pulls it off in Ghosttown beautifully...
MARGARET: Zoe clearly understands this, making up for it by rocking Valentino here. In white gowns, especially ones this simple, the pressure is on the hair and makeup to sell the look and she nailed it on both counts.
10 MORE LOOKS AFTER THE JUMP...
Kazan, Laurent, Hayek, Weisz, and Vikander
NATHANIEL: Oooh, I just recalled how good you look in a white gown, Margaret, so I will take your word as gospel for What To Do With One.
Okay, first line up: Zoe (two Zoe's in a row!), Melanie, Salma, Rachel, and Alicia. ...apparently we're all on a first name basis all of a sudden?
MARGARET: I'm glad, too, because it will come off that much more gently when I pull Ms. Kazan aside to say "Zoe, honey, a satin midriff-baring gown with a waist bow? Perhaps reconsider."
JOSE: Zoe reminded me of a quinceanera cake
NATHANIEL: I realize being a fashion icon is not every actress's calling or duty but when your career is sort of unformed still I feel like you need to reconsider, period, before everything. Gowns and all.
MARGARET: So much potential with that shade of blue which so flatters her coloring but oy, the ruching.
JOSE: I thought Melanie Laurent was Nastassja Kinski for a second! I like her Zuhair Murad dress enough, but I feel it kinda washes her out.
NATHANIEL: Oooh i see the Kinski now that you mention it. The Kinski is never a bad thing to see. Melanie looks beautiful. The huge smile (present in all the pictures so she was having fun) is a great accessory.
MARGARET: Perhaps she's giddy with the thrill of thwarting the hard-nosed Cannes rulemakers by harboring illicit flats beneath her floor-length gown?
NATHANIEL: I'm going to name my band ILLICIT FLATS
MARGARET: You and Emma Thompson.
JOSE: That high heels rule is bonkers! I love women's shoes, but they look like torture devices! Well done, Melanie! #awomansrighttoshoes
NATHANIEL: Can we talk about Salma Hayek nailing it by going so bold and simple... I sometimes feel like she's way too fussy in her gowns and this is simultaneous va va voom and effortless
JOSE "They're called boobs, Ed!" OK I have to go but I *need * to say: Alicia Vikander needs to trademark #iwokeuplikedis what are they feeding these women in Sweden? Nice talking to you both xoxoxoxo
MARGARET: Jose, you leave us too soon!
Shall we carry on, then? I cannot pretend to have Jose's marvelously discerning eye for couture, but I love shiny things and pretty colors.
NATHANIEL: Me too. I'm very magpie about these things. Designer names do nothing to raise my eyebrows but shiny jewel tones.... "OOOH" So Rachel Weisz looks sexy serving Old Hollywood Nightgown Realness.. PSSSST. Now that Jose has left and he can't strike me down for blasphemy I'm going to say that I hate this look on Vikander.
MARGARET: Oh, good! I really am not a fan either. The dress is funky and cool and obviously her face is of the gods, but the overall package is falling flat for me, especially in context of the go-big-or-go-home Cannes red carpet. For someone who is positioned to have a breakout year to perhaps surpass even Jessica Chastain, I'm surprised I'm not getting more oomph from her.
NATHANIEL: Right. I mean, she could have not washed her hair, rolled around on the set of Fury Road with Zoe and worn a potato sack to Cannes and still been in demand (EIGHT films this year) but this dress is so plain but also at the same time busy with weird incongruous details.
I mean she looked better when she was half translucent machine and that's maybe not the best reaction to her first global event as a freshly ascendant star.
Rapace, Blunt, Fonda, Kruger, and Moore
NATHANIEL: okay Noomi, Emily, Jane, Diane, and God.
MARGARET: In miniature I was ready to be a fan of Noomi's gown (I love the volume!) but upon realizing it's essentially ruby-red zebra print, I'm off the bus.
NATHANIEL: I wish i were more of a fan but this is the way I feel about her performances too. The dress is wearing her as much as her eyeliner was in her Dragon Tattoo movies.
MARGARET: Her posture and expression looks like they're responding to that exact sentiment.
NATHANIEL: Happier response: Emily Blunt looks amazing. I mean it's not quite SEX SYMBOL -- and I'm always wishing she'd crank that up because she obviously has that in her -- but more MRS GLAMOUR.
MARGARET: That column silhouette is so simple, but she's selling the heck out of it. As glamorous and sophisticated as she looks, though, she reminds me of nothing so much as a human-shaped disco ball and I would really like to have a Xanadu dance party in her vicinity
NATHANIEL: Perhaps there's a secret tearaway slit to allow for dancing at the after party. What do you make of Jane's cut-out swirls, Julianne's assymetry, and Diane's sparkly drapes?
MARGARET: Jane Fonda is a goddess for all time and to my knowledge has never looked less than smashing at a premiere. No exception here! She's got the exact same double-hand-on-hip red carpet pose that Beyonce usually employs, which I love. She knows what she's got.
NATHANIEL: In this case that being the world's greatest 77 year-old body She wasn't just hawking fitness but actually living it all those years.
MARGARET: Diane Kruger is one of my favorite red carpet presences. She has worn so many things that are in themselves questionable or even weird, but as soon as they're on her they become unimpeachably Fashion with a capital F.
NATHANIEL: She even makes plaster cast high heels fashionable.
MARGARET: This gown is more traditionally glamorous. I love anything that even neighbors on cape territory. Which makes me wonder whether she's been offered any of the exponentially multiplying superhero pictures in development...
NATHANIEL: Kruger is too skinny to pull off action heroine I think. I mean Angelina Jolie only manages it from sheer force of screen presence.
MARGARET: But think how she could elevate even the most snoozeworthy hero costume!
NATHANIEL: Point: Margaret.
We end with Julianne Moore. I suspect this gown was divisive but I love its weird mix of texture and angularity. But then perhaps I can't be trusted to judge Julianne's looks because it's like looking at the sun for me, divine and yet blinding. You know. How she do.
MARGARET: I often find Our Lady Julianne's fashion choices unworthy of her, but I love this look. One of my favorite things she's worn in a long time. Velvet! Alligator! Crimson on a redhead! How is it working? But it is.
NATHANIEL: Everything about it individually is NO but in combination it is YASSS. So it's like the inverse of Her vs. Maps to the Stars.
MARGARET: Ha! My favorite simile so far this month. The Oscar has done her so much good.
NATHANIEL: That.
Reader Comments (8)
Good-Melanie, Salma (that color is perfect for her), Emily, Diane and Jane (not sure about the cutouts but she looks amazing in that dress-and never a hair out of place)
Unsure-Rachel (I love her and perhaps its the pose and angle but I think this would look good in person), Noomi (the print is fun but is that a puffed sleeve? It ruins the overall effect of the dress, should have been a simple straight line over the shoulder), Zoe Kravitz
Horrendous-Zoe Kazan (Just awful), Alicia (Is she going on a hunt? Hopefully she'll eat a sandwich first)
The Best-Julianne (If for nothing else making that crimson work with her hair but her whole look is striking)
Easy, Salma and Moore....
Emily Blunt looks fabulous, other photos show that the back is very low cut, bringing a sensual vibe. I love Rachel Weitz's gown, some don't like satin, but it looks very striking.
And once again Rooney Mara brings her bored, unsmiling, little face to a red carpet event.
She looks like someone who is disappointed that they aren't a corpse. I realize she may have some acting talent but I'm fed up with her cheerless attitude - every single event.
I'm channeling Olympia Dukakis and telling her to "Snap Out Of It".
"I forgot. I have Alzheimer's."
Winner: Blunt
Loser: Kazan, who was so great in Olive Kitteridge
Cate's dress at the Carol premiere was better than anything on this page.
Julianne really looks great, but for me Jane Fonda just rules it in that blue dress.
My favorite of these is by a long way Salma Hayek. The colour is amazing, and the cut beautiful.
Agree with Jows - best dress of the festival is not featured. What gives?
but yay Jose is back, if ever so briefly.