Box Office Numbers. What's Yours?

I have important questions to ask Hollywood and you...

Chart via Box Office Mojo

To Hollywood:

• Who greenlit $125 million for a remake of Total Recall without a star as bankable as Ahnuld? 
• Why don't you make more smart but mainstream adult productions as cheap as Magic Mike and then actually promote them well so they become big hits instead of just releasing them in 5 theaters and hoping for the best? The profit margins are pretty big with this one. Consider that it's already earned 15 times its budget and that doesn't even include home video where it will be an even bigger hit or any foreign box office yet since it hasn't gone international.  

To You:

• How many of this week's top 12 have you seen?
• How much life does The Dark Knight Rises (reviewed) still have in it? It's $43 million behind The Dark Knight and $103 million behind The Avengers at this same 17th day point in their runs.
• What do you think the semi-success of Moonrise Kingdom means for Wes Anderson? It didn't reach Tenenbaums popularity but it sure held on with word of mouth and will be much bigger in ten years time the way so many "acquired taste" movies are.

Speaking of numbers... Last night I was in one of those crap movie moods. Do you ever get those? It was too hot to be outside and I just wanted to see something stupid while laying on the couch. So I watched What's Your Number?

Well, I did ask for stupid. It's my own damn fault.

I did not, however, ask for relentlessly sexist and offensive. Women who have slept with more than 10 men in their lifetime -- even if they're gorgeous urban singles in their early 30s who've been to college-- are apparently "sluts"? It's one of those movies where if you switch the genders in your head it makes absolutely zero sense. Nobody would ever understand a movie wherein the plot involves a guy who feels guilty about having had more than 10 girlfriends and his friends all think he's an embarassment because of it so he vows to give up sex because THAT'S FAR TOO MANY! 

The plot and politics were so terrible (and predictable) that it even made it hard to enjoy the otherwise good cast though I did laugh at Anthony Mackie's crude gesture as a closeted gay and Blythe Danner's exasperation of the high strung mother of the bride. I felt so bad for Anna Faris and Chris Evans while watching it but, then again, they did sign on so they can't not have known what they were getting into. So shame on them, too. 

P.S. Remember that bizarrely misguided moment in Chris Evans career wherein his management team announced that he was no longer going to take his shirt off? Ha! That didn't last long.

Maybe their numbers from commissions on his movie offers immediately dried up? 

You think?

50th Anniversary: Marilyn's Death

50 years ago today Marilyn Monroe left us. You've undoubtedly noticed that her lovely ghost is more active than ever, always haunting popular culture. In the past ten months alone, we've been inundated with Marilyn resurrections and references: My Week With Marilyn, Smash, that Dior commercial with Charlize Theron, James Franco and Channing Tatum in Marilyn drag at the Oscars and in Magic Mike respectively. You could call that a symptom of this major anniversary or the current Mad Men inspired 60s fanaticism were it not for the fact that Hollywood is always attempting Marilyn resurrections in one form or another.

Marilyn on the beach in 1962 shortly before her death 50 years ago. She was 36 years old.

Strange then that the actress who is most comparable to her these days in terms of über charisma, sex appeal and body type, the great Christina Hendricks, can't manage to excite Hollywood enough for them to give her showcase movie roles.  She's a hell of an actress and the only thing she hasn't yet shown us that's Marilyn-related is superb comic timing.

Marilyn Monroe is like Hollywood's Jesus. If they actually came back to us the people who blab on and on about them the most (Hollywood and Christians respectively) would be the first to reject their reality. Hollywood doesn't really want actresses to be as powerfully voluptuous as that!

Marilyn is now only a fantasy, and paradoxically perhaps that makes her closer to the "Marilyn" that Norma Jean intended all along given that she was (to some extent) fictional to the woman playing her. People have always preferred the fantasy to the reality with Marilyn and now moreso than ever I think. But she seems so real from ubiquity that her spirit verges on the corporeal. [Actresses, Memories and Fashion after the jump]

Click to read more ...

Introducing... In "Vertigo"

I've only written about Alfred Hitchcock's immortal Vertigo (1958) once for an episode of the old series "May Flowers" so I thought I'd dig up that old piece now that Vertigo is in the news having been named "The Greatest Film" by Sight & Sound. I always think of Vertigo as an early summer movie. What other movie besides its closest descendants Robert Altman's Three Women and  David Lynch's Mulholland Drive feel more ruled by twin sign Gemini? Hitchcock films generally deserve complete dissertations but we don't have Scottie Ferguson's (Jimmy Stewart) stamina when it comes to fetishizing doppelgangers. So today let's merely glance back at his introductions to Madeleine/Judy (Kim Novak).

Ferguson has been hired to follow Madeleine and as he first spots her in a deep rose red restaurant. [Click here to open a panoramic shot in a new window]. Hitchock slow zooms out from Scottie (far right) at the bar and pans left, following his gaze, into the dining area filled with flowers and well heeled customers and even a painting of a floral arrangement framed by floral arrangements before it finally stops at Madeleine (tiny, far left) in her emerald green dress.

As she leaves the restaurant we get Kim Novak's first bewitching close up, carefully calibrated and emphasized by Hitchcock's editor George Tomasini and cinematographer Robert Burks. Scottie likes what he sees but this is a job.

Click to read more ...

Ask Nathaniel. Even Though He's Slow To Respond.

I apologize that I never responded to the last batch of questions. I had trouble parsing them -- a lot of essay length questions (be gentler with me), questions we'd answered before, or questions that made me feel guilty. Why don't I ever talk about Garbo? I don't know. Why don't I watch Breaking Bad? I don't know x 2. When am I bringing back "Reader of the Day"? I don'--oh wait, this month! It's Reader Appreciation Month)  Still more of the questions, a lot of them, had to do with The Dark Knight Rises  and I answered all of those to the best of my ability in my longwinded review. So let's open the floor back up and I'll try to answer questions as soon as (gulp) Wednesday!

P.S. Remember, if it's more suited to a top ten list style answer, I never answer it. I just file it under "top ten list" possibilities. 

Yes, No, Maybe So: "The Paperboy"

I know you've been waiting to discuss this one or spent all your discussion energies elsewhere. But do it again. Humor me! You know how bad I want this movie, even if it's terrible. Let's break it down quickly since I'm all YESSSSSSSssssSSSsssS Gimme.

YES

 

• "That man is dangerous. Lovin' him is dangerous ♫" - perfect music choice
• Speaking of dangerous Pt 2 Nicole Kidman trashy, sweaty, in character, on fire. If she were a man people would bow down like they do with Daniel Day-Lewis.
• Speaking of dangerous Pt 3 Precious director Lee Daniels. Generally you can't achieve genius unless you're willing to risk looking ridiculous. Reviews suggested the latter but still. Brava for taking chances.
• Zac Efron's wet underwear contest and Nicole Kidman's gawdy costumes, Two great looks that look great together.
• The cast. Matthew McConaughey has been on a roll and Macy Gray is always welcome. She was just inspired in her cameo in For Colored Girls and memorable in Lee Daniels' Shadowboxer, too. 
• "These your paperboys? What are they gonna do for me." // "They're gonna save you" Chills.

NO

• This trailer verges on the totally incoherent. "What the hell is going on?" can be a good future ticket buy question spurred on by a trailer but generally not in the "what the hell is going on within the trailer itself!?" kind of way. I think it's the overlapping sound editing. It's just cacophonous. 

MAYBE SO 

• John Cusack. I admit I am nothing like a fan. Very occassionally I'm intrigued but there are more misses than hits if you ask me.

the trailer in case you're also running late...

Are you a Yes? a Hell Yes? or a Gimme Now Before I Spontaneously Combust? no? maybe so? 

I know I'm not supposed to think that Nicole has an Oscar shot for something this pulpy and outre but damn this looks like a killer part. Will she kill it?