Laura Linky

MovieFone records history: live blogging the midnight showing of Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace in 3D.
Gawker and other outlets on the shocking appearance of Macauley Culkin. That's a lot of weight lost since the Mila Kunis days. Not that that breakup had anything to do with it. Sorry. My mind wandered.
ESPN Page 2 Rising actor Michael B Jordan on his color blind casting in Chronicle and his time with Friday Night Lights
Vulture Channing Tatum. The Cameron Diaz of Men?
24 Frames celebrities bitching about Oscar snubs
Playbill Lea Michele may reprise her breakthrough role for a Spring Awakening movie

Happy Birthday to 'The Face'
My New Plaid Pants celebrates the long strange enlightening career of Laura Dern, or "The Face" as we like to call her.
Nick's Flick Picks will also be celebrating her. But which movie? I keep refreshing my screen but nothing is there yet. Hurrrrryyyyyyy

... as soon as I typed the header up top, I realized you'd be thinking of The Lovely Laura Linney™ instead so, whaddya know, Nick provides there, too.  He wrote a provocative personal review of The Laramie Project, which features one of Linney's performances he hadn't seen. She's part of that telefilm's grand mosaic of real characters as a woman who can't comprehend the meaning of "hate crime". It's a must read if you remember where you were when you heard the news about Matthew Shepard all those long years ago.

Ten Lauras We Love ...

1. The Face
2. The Lovely Laura Linney
3. Laura Elena Haring whispering "Mulholland Drive" hypnotically
4. Laura (1944)
5. "Laura" by the Scissor Sisters,
6. "Laura Holt" on Remington Steele
7. "Laura" in Pariah
8. Lara Croft (what? that counts, right?)
9. Laura "Gloria" Branigan (*sniffle)
10. ...and Laura Ingalls Wilder. Sometimes. But she can be annoying.

No I don't know why we just went there either but go with it. We believe in following trains of thoughts especially when they spill right over into the c-o-m-m-e-n-t-s

Three Terrible Ideas Involving Lesbians, Vampires, and Lennons

Hey, Let's Remake a Hitchcock!
While some of us enjoyed Gus Van Sant's maligned Psycho (1998) experiment in "recreation" (hey, it's more honest than "reboot") -- generally we're forgiving of artistic experiments in comparison to parasitic cash-grabs --  remaking Hitchcock movies is never a good idea in the strictest sense of the word "good". Think of the relief on the internetz when that new version of The Birds didn't take flight. See, Alfred Hitchcock is not like so many great auteurs of yore that today's audiences aren't familiar with. If there is any classic Hollywood director that contemporary mainstream audiences still 'get,' isn't it Hitchcock? The latest of his features someone wants to remake is Rebecca (1940). Maybe there should be a law against remaking Best Picture winners? I do not trust anyone in 2012 with "Mrs. Danvers". Back away from the apparitional lesbians*!

Hey, Let's Keep Making Vampire Pictures!
Doesn't anyone in Hollywood worry about bankrolling trends long past their sell-by date? While it's true that vampires never go completely out of style they do sometimes hibernate, burrowing deep into the ground until they're ready to engage again (a la The Vampire Lestat), in terms of pop culture popularity. So after two plus decades of vampire madness doesn't it seem like that bubble could burst at any moment and someone will lose bazillions of dollars? As far as I can tell 2012 and 2013 are already so stuffed with vampires onscreens both large and small that eventually audiences will be wearing garlic when they approach the TV or multiplex. But they've decided to make another one called Harker in which Jonathan Harker is no longer a Keanu Reeves like lawyer but a Russell Crowe like investigator for Scotland yard.

Hey, Let's Adapt Movies No One Saw Into Broadway Shows That Are About Famous Musicians Whose Songs We Don't Have the Rights To!
Remember that biopic about John Lennon's pre-fame years called Nowhere Boy? It had one of those long torturous 'what year does this film belong to' releases 'round the world but never caught on. It's the film that introduced us to Aaron Johnson (Kick Ass, Albert Nobbs) who we now seem to be stuck with. It also introduced him to director Sam Taylor Wood and they're happily co-habitating and child-rearing three years later. But I'm losing the point. One of the distracting things about the movie, which made narrative but not emotional sense was the absence of Beatles. Now moneyburning people are adapting it into a Broadway musical. Who pray tell would spend $100+ a ticket to see an original musical about the founding members of the Beatles that is not a Beatles jukebox** musical???

*Nick introduced me to the term apparitional lesbians. I'm forever grateful because it's so damn useful. And fun to say. Try it.

** I hate jukebox musicals. I'm not suggesting someone should make one here, just that that's what audiences would want if they went to a show about John Lennon.

Complete the Sentence... On Oscar Night...

For Oscar Night I'm planning to ___________________________________ . (Aw, c'mon tell us what you're pencilling in.)

20:11 Horrible Captains and The Deathly Pooh Part 1

Year in Review Fun! Herewith the 20th minute and 11th second of the movies of 2011 in chronological order of US release date. It's like flipping channels for snapshots of the film year! For those who like a challenge, I've written the film titles in invisible ink (you can highlight to see them) below the screencap.

I realized halfway through doing this series that it wouldn't actually be able to be completed given that it will take another 6 months before everything is on DVD. So only one more of these "remember this" screen captures before we close out the film year. If you're just joining us TFE basically thinks of Oscar night as New Year's Eve. 2011 hangover lasts for a few days post Oscar (you have to discuss the big night afterwards, don'cha know) and then 2012 can officially get underway on March 1st. Wheeeee

How many have you seen? Do these images make you want to stop surfing and watch?

Jan | Feb | March | April| May | June

Part 7: July and August

He liked alcohol. We'd give him a sip and he'd want more. We gave him puffs on a joint…"

PROJECT NIM

I don't understand why you guys don't quit. Are you registered sex offenders?"

HORRIBLE BOSSES

-We can't just stand here.
-You're the brilliant one!
-I've got something but... it's mad."

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PT 2 

6 more screencapture guessing games after the jump.

Click to read more ...

Ignorance is Bliss

via

Only 4 days away! [This gave me quite a chuckle this morning. I doubt it's real but the font is so... gah! It's serving Microsoft Word 10.0 2002 realness.]