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Entries in April Showers (52)

Friday
Apr222011

April Showers: Angelina's Power Cleanse

Kurt here again. How do you like your Angelina Jolie? Hacking the Gibson under the name of Acid Burn? Wailing about her lost son in a cloche hat? Wooing the Hollywood Foreign Press opposite Johnny Depp in Venice? Please. You like her kicking ass, and with respect to fans of Wanted, she's really never done it better than in Tomb Raider, the underrated video game adap that houses what we can probably call her signature performance.

All of 24 when she shot the movie, Angie wasn't yet Salt skeletal, and still had some of those Gia curves to flaunt. She gets her chance when director Simon West shoots her in a post-training shower scene, where she washes off the sweat worked up from emptying clips into a killer robot.

 

I love this scene because it's so freaking gratuitous. West might argue that he included it to help humanize Lara Croft (tomb raiders need showers, too!), but we all know it has the same objective as a Maxim cover shoot. And who's arguing, anyway?

I'm still of the mind that Angie is the most perfectly put together female on the globe, and this scene might just mark the peak of that perfectly-put-togetherness.

 

More More More after the jump.

Click to read more ...

Thursday
Apr212011

April Showers: Don't Flirt With Pierce Brosnan!

waterworks each weeknight at 11

Have you ever seen the British gangster drama The Long Good Friday (1980)? I had never heard of it until a few years ago. It starred Helen Mirren and Bob Hoskins before I knew who they were and was released well before I started seeing R rated movies that only adults would like. I was wildly in love with the TV show Remington Steele (1982-1987) as a kid but back then I never considered whether actors had existed before I knew who they were (unless they were older actors and clearly MOVIE STARS like Liz Taylor & Jane Fonda and those types.) Pierce Brosnan existed before Remington Steele!!! Who knew?

26 year old's Pierce Brosnan's film debut "The Long Good Friday"

But there he is pre-Remington Steele, pre James Bond, pre Mamma Mia!. This is his big screen debut and he is billed as "1st Irishman" He has two scenes and no lines. He doesn't even utter a sound in the movie. (A mute Pierce Brosnan! Why didn't the makers of Mamma Mia! think of that?). But you don't need vocal chords when you look like this.

The Long Good Friday is a pretty tense crime movie all told and it uses that out-of-fashion tactic of keeping you in the dark about what's going on for at least one reel (today's movies love exposition too much to do this frequently anymore). The first 20 minutes are very disorienting as there's virtually no dialogue for half of that and we see a theft, a gay bar pickup, three murders, a funeral, an old woman spitting in the face of a young man and a yacht party thrown by Bob Hoskins and Helen Mirren all of which have little context or connective tissue that we can make sense of.

But the man who lifted the money in the first scene, Colin (Paul Freeman) goes swimming whilst young Pierce keeps leering at him. To complete the cruising bait, Pierce heads for a literal April Shower, it being Good Friday and all. More after the jump.)

Click to read more ...

Tuesday
Apr192011

April Showers: Bill Murray's Bad Day

waterworks weeknights at 11

Robert (writer of Distant Relatives) here, sitting in for Nathaniel, with an April Showers entry. Every have a really terrible day you just want to end? Turns out Bill Murray's legendary curmudgeon Phil Connors is having one of those days. So what to do?

Retreat.

Take a hot shower.

very hot.

too hot!

It's a seemingly throw-away gag, but actually epitomizes why I think I love Groundhog Day more each time I watch it (and I've watched it many times now).

Yes, even Phil Connors' attempt to relax goes wrong. His day sucks. You don't blame him for blowing off the Groundhog Dinner just a scene earlier (though you do blame him for being a jerk about it). And you don't realize yet that going to the dinner-engaging with life rather than avoiding it, was the right thing for him to do.

Dang, if only he had it to do over again.

 

Thursday
Apr142011

April Showers: Stanley Kowalski

wateworks weeknights at 11

Have you ever been so out of control drunk that your buddies had to do a physical intervention and shove your sorry ass in a cold shower? Stanley Kowalski (Marlon Brando) has.


In A Streetcar Named Desirei, which I haven't been able to shake since we did our "Best Shot" episode (how about you?), Blanche Dubois is always taking baths to relax or to clear her head. Her nemesis and brother-in-law law Stanley isn't obsessed with bathing. His liquids are clearly blood, sweat and tears. But in this scene the shower wakes him from his violent stupor.

But still dripping wet, he's back to generating his own waterworks; a crying boy seeking comfort from the woman he's abused.

Hey baby? HEY STELLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Tuesday
Apr122011

April Showers: The Hurt Locker

Jeremy Renner multi-tasking, shower and laundry.

 

Monday
Apr112011

April Showers: Will Smith's Morning Routine

waterworks each weeknight at 11 pm

Be like Will Smith this week by practicing this I Robot morning routine: 8 easy steps.

1. Experience recurring dream in which you are rescued from drowning by a robot. This will be hard to do unless you're lucid dreaming, but if you're lucid dreaming take it there. Aren't lucid dreams trippy?

2. Wake up at 7:30 AM

3. Sit up in bed and massage your injuries. Will sometimes does this flesh rubbing with a loaded weapon but I would use something normal like your hand. Safer.

4. Play "Superstitious" by Stevie Wonder on your iTunes or last.fm as you...

5. Eat cold pie for breakfast*

three more steps after the jump

Click to read more ...