April Showers: Stanley Kowalski

wateworks weeknights at 11

Have you ever been so out of control drunk that your buddies had to do a physical intervention and shove your sorry ass in a cold shower? Stanley Kowalski (Marlon Brando) has.

In A Streetcar Named Desirei, which I haven't been able to shake since we did our "Best Shot" episode (how about you?), Blanche Dubois is always taking baths to relax or to clear her head. Her nemesis and brother-in-law law Stanley isn't obsessed with bathing. His liquids are clearly blood, sweat and tears. But in this scene the shower wakes him from his violent stupor.

But still dripping wet, he's back to generating his own waterworks; a crying boy seeking comfort from the woman he's abused.

Hey baby? HEY STELLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

April Showers: The Hurt Locker

Jeremy Renner multi-tasking, shower and laundry.

April Showers: Will Smith's Morning Routine

waterworks each weeknight at 11 pm

Be like Will Smith this week by practicing this I Robot morning routine: 8 easy steps.

1. Experience recurring dream in which you are rescued from drowning by a robot. This will be hard to do unless you're lucid dreaming, but if you're lucid dreaming take it there. Aren't lucid dreams trippy?

2. Wake up at 7:30 AM

3. Sit up in bed and massage your injuries. Will sometimes does this flesh rubbing with a loaded weapon but I would use something normal like your hand. Safer.

4. Play "Superstitious" by Stevie Wonder on your iTunes or last.fm as you...

5. Eat cold pie for breakfast*

three more steps after the jump

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April Showers: "Single White Female"

waterworks each weeknight at 11 in April

Have you ever had a flatmate you just didn't trust? Bridget Fonda as "Allie" thought she'd found a good one in Jennifer Jason Leigh "Hedy" after placing an ad in Single White Female (1992). But once JJL moved in, things got so weird. Any of us could've told Bridget that'd happen since JJL is rarely "right" in the head onscreen, yknow? So Hedy gets weirdly needy and steals Allie's whole look, complete with ginger helmet bob! So Bridget, who is pretty damn stupid even as thriller heroines still has enough functioning brain cells to know a good snooping opportunity when she hears one.

I'm going to take a shower."

Now's your chance, Fonda. 3...2...1... SNOOP, BRIDGET, SNOOP!!!

Oh, don't pretend like you haven't snooped on a roommate before! The Film Experience is a safe space. You can say. Show of hands? I thought so. And, besides, all ethical bets are off once someone starts stealing your identity, right?

At first Allie seems like she understands the danger she's in as she does a little stealth jog to JJL's room where she discovers a box of personal things in the closet. All people, crazy or otherwise, keep shoeboxes filled with secrets in their closets. Known Fact. What she finds in this shoebox is those very secrets as well as proof that Hedy has been intercepting her boyfriend's mail. That Bitch!

Single White Female was shot by Italian cinematographer Luciano Tovoli. It's beautiful.

Oh and Allie, get the hell out of there. That bitch who steals your mail also takes really short showers.

More after the jump. NSFW

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April Showers: The Fifth Element

waterworks each weeknight at 11 as we turn on the cinematic shower.

True Story: The house my family lived in from the time I was nine years old until high school graduation had an unusual bathroom. I didn't think it was so terribly unusual because I lived with it but whenever friends would come to visit for the first time they would always demand to see the bathroom. They'd heard, you see. The storied feature in question was a sunken shower. You had to step down into it, as if it were an in-ground swimming pool and it was larger than your traditional shower or bathtub. But there were no rounded smooth edges, just tiles. So it wasn't, unfortunately, a comfortable bathtub unless you find sharp flat corners restive for reclining against, in which case… are you an invertebrate?

 I suddenly flashed to my parent's old house while watching The Fifth Element recently.  In the scene in question, law enforcement of one sort or another (it's hard to keep track in Luc Besson's frenzy-filled futurism) has entered Bruce Willis's building and good ol' Bruce realizes he needs to hide his strange guest, supreme being Leeloo (Milla Jovovich).

Where else? The shower, that most private of places... except maybe in the movies.

read the rest after the jump. (safe for work.)

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