Beauty vs Beast: Fish Witch

JA from MNPP here with this week's mite-late edition of this week's "Beauty Vs Beast" - sorry for the unexpected day-long delay, what can we say, a sea-witch stole our voice from us. Coincidentally The Film Experience is celebrating the year 1989 in the lead up to this month's Supporting Actress Showdown and whaddya know 1989 was the year that another gorgeous princess, not myself, had the exact same thing happen to her! I handled it with a much finer degree of decorum, natch, but she got Prince Eric so she wins. (Mmmm Prince Eric.) Yes I speak of Disney's The Little Mermaid, which is bringing us this week's animated face-off.

poll by twiigs.com

Life's full of tough choices... innit??? I feel like this one could go either way really, so making you cases in the comments could prove important. Sway the little fishies this way or that, people.

PREVIOUSLY If you felt a little falling sensation - kinda simultaneously plummeting forward and back - as you picked between Jimmy Stewart and Kim Novak in last week's Vertigo round you ultimately made like Hitch and came out blonde - well blonde eventually (inevitably) anyway - in the end. Judy, poor poor Judy, won your sympathies along with 71% of the vote. Said Leslie19:

"Judy is the perfect Hitchcockian heroine: A blonde puzzle, with a past. A great wardrobe and the perfect palette for techicolor, in this case his use of green. Is there anything more to say?"

Beauty vs Beast: All About the Blonde

JA from MNPP here. At this point it feels more than a little cliche to call Alfred Hitchcock your favorite film-maker. Tomorrow is his 115th birthday and it feels like we've spent at least double that amount of time writing about and reacting to how great, twisted, funny, pervy and technically masterful he was. Hitch is often the gateway drug, the little puff of movie marijuana that leads true cineastes on to the hard stuff.

I'll always come back to my first taste. It was the sweetest, the purest, and it still sends that shiver down my spine. I remember the first time I realized that movies, Movies, these are the thing I love, laying on my cousin's floor watching a camera sweep across across a boxy Manhattan backyard filled with windows into another world, stories in shorthand of life on top of life, all at once. It was everything. It still is everything.

So let's pay our respects by devoting this week's "Beauty vs Beast" to the man who made me interested in the ambiguities of the "good" guys and the "bad" guys in the first place, and let's do it with the movie that finally tossed Citizen Kane down the staircase.

poll by twiigs.com

You only have six days to vote this week since we're running a day behind (sorry about the delay) so get to it - bleach yourself, slide into a gray dress, wander through a redwood forest or some neon green light, do whatever it takes - just pick and make your case in the comments!

PREVIOUSLY Last week we were talking about the blonde presuasion as well - Charlize Theron and Patrick Wilson faced off again in a Young Adult redux. Wilson's Buddy might be the nice guy, willing to clean up baby burps and all that, but he never stood a chance against mean girl-woman Mavis. CMG put is succinctly:

"Mavis. Buddy is blind and seems dumb. The end."

Beauty vs Beast: The Monster From Mini Apple

JA from MNPP here, and I think we've got some Charlize Theron fans up in here, correct? While we ache away on our insides for Mad Max: Fury Road to get here (May seems so far away) let's give her one of her very own "Beauty vs. Beast" tributes to pass the time.

I contemplated going the Snow White route but that seemed kinda obvious so the best Charlize movie instead. Jason Retiman's 2011 too-cool-for-Oscar flick Young Adult is endlessly rewatchable... as long as you get off on cringing through your laughter and watching a wonderful actress wield her beauty like a weapon.

One that cuts both ways - watching Mavis be stripped of her beautification accoutrement (those sad silicone inserts) becomes a perverse sort of deglamming that would have made Aileen Wuornos blush. And Patrick Wilson's no slouch - he always gets taken for granted as the premiere amiable suburban object, but Buddy's a sharp portrait of a dude who's never had to give too much thought to things having a whole lot of thought smashed his way in way too short a time.

poll by twiigs.com

You have one week to cast your vote for the prom king or the prom queen and let us know why in the comments - and give Charlize your birthday wishes while you're at it!

PREVIOUSLY Even though we tried to bribe you a little bit by showing off Tom Hanks' surprisingly fabulous gams, you were having none of it on the occasion of Turner & Hooch's 25th anniversary - slobbery though he may have been it's just a general rule that you're never gonna beat an adorable doggy. Hooch bounded away with just short of 70% of the vote; said Henry:

"As a cat person, I would ordinarily choose the human......but my fourth (or was it fifth) husband was a neatnik. I'll take slobbery over Felix Ungernesseryness any day."

Beauty Vs Beast: A Dog Eat Dog World

JA from MNPP here with this week's "Beauty Vs Beast," which is a real Hemingway-esque battle between the forces of Man and the forces of the Untamed Wildnerness. On the one side we have Tom Hanks, multiple Oscar winner, as the determined Detective Scott Turner, trying to solve the most important make-it-or-break-it case of his career. And on the other side... there's Hooch, the junkyard dog who witnessed this most heinous act of murder.

As the VHS box said at the video-store I worked at in high school, they're the oddest couple ever unleashed! Today is actually the 25th anniversary of Turner & Hooch's release, and heck, somebody should note it. Tom Hanks would probably rather it be forgotten, and I probably haven't seen the movie in 20 years, but I was 11 when it came out and dang it... I totally saw it. That means something.

T&H was actually a pretty big hit though (as movies with adorable feisty doggies sometimes are). It was in that period post-Big pre-Philadelphia where Hanks was flailing a bit - people look back fondly on The Burbs and Joe Vs The Volcano now but at the time tweren't so, and then there's the giant sucking sound of The Bonfire of the Vanities. And Turner & Hooch, of course. Of course! The story of a neatnik cop learning to love a tower of slobber. And in return, as the film's Wiki puts it, "on a positive note Hooch also instigates a romance between Turner and the new town veterinarian Emily Carson (Mare Winningham)." But I think the main user review of the film at IMDb says it best:

"My boyfriend loves this movie so I watched it and I laughed. Hooch acts exactly like our dog- big and messy and destructive. Tom Hanks was very convincing as a meticulous detective and Hooch is a hoot as a dog that can rattle him.. All in all this is a good movie to watch on a rainy afternoon like we did."

What more could you ask for? Now on to the choosing!

poll by twiigs.com

One week is all you've got to slap a leash on your winner and march them around the ring - tell us in the comments who you're barking for!

PREVIOUSLY Last week I asked you guys to choose between the Devil and an Oscar-winning actress, and I'm not surpised the actress took it but proving he's no fluke the Devil really put up a good fight. Still it was Chris MacNeil who walked about with 3/4s of the ultimate vote, winning not just her daughter back from the depths of Hell itself, but also your validation (clearly the bigger prize). Said brookesboy:

"Ellen is so brilliant in this film, I have to go with Chris. Still, that devil has some impressive tricks up his sleeve, even if theoretically he is against vulgar displays of power. Team Chris! Give her that damn crucifix already!"

Beauty Vs Beast: The Devil & Chris MacNeil

JA from MNPP here - what with The Film Experience turning its eyes towards the year that was 1973 this month I kind of feel it's my duty as the horror-genre drum-beater in residence to pick up the baton (ahh, delicious scrambled metaphors) and race us over to the brownstones of Georgetown for a hot minute, where a sweet little girl and her mother are busy being dragged through all nine circles of Hell and back for this week's Exorcist-flavored edition of "Beauty Vs. Beast."

Quite a literal round this time: an emphatically most horrible Beast, while our Beauty... well, Ellen Burstyn's Chris MacNeil is maybe even a smidge too amazing as our Beauty? I know most of the film's power comes from the corruption of the sweet relationship she has with her daughter but it always feels a wee bit to me like it strains credibility how much time this seemingly A-list actress makes for just hanging out with her kid. Anybody else? Maybe I've seen Mommie Dearest too many times. But I've always felt like there's the spectre of unaddressed tension in the scene where Regan interrupts her mother's fancy-people dinner-party with that humiliating bladder-release - Regan banished to bed, getting her revenge at a distracted mother...

That said the time's come to prove you Actressexual bonafides. Great Actress in Peril!

poll by twiigs.com

You have one week to vote, vote, vote as if the soul of a little girl depends upon it, and convince us in the comments why we should choose light over darkness or vice versa. The power of poll compels you!

PREVIOUSLY Last week we whipped out our business cards and compared the watermarks of two Type-A Wall Street a-holes - as I figured we were all more than willing (well 3/4s of us were anyway) to set aside our scruples for a mass-murderer as long as he looks like Christian Bale looked like in American Psycho. I'm not judging! I cleaned out my cookies so I could vote for Patrick Bateman twice. I always have a moment of hesitance when Cara Seymour gets in that limo the second time, fearing I might do the same... Said David:

"Ashamed to say this, but the image of Patrick Bateman flexing his biceps, staring at himself in the mirror while screwing prostitutes left such an indelible image frozen in my brain for years. So yes Patrick Bateman, a thousand times yes."