And The Oscar For "Best Arm" Goes To...

by Dancin' Dan

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Chris Evans, First Gentleman of the Oscars...

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Beauty vs Beast: Our Favourite Fellas

Jason from MNPP here, wishing everyone a Happy Oscar Hangover Monday -- the mood swings last night were particularly violent, but then we live in a rollercoaster world in 2019 so the evening felt par for the course. Personally I had some villains I was rooting against last night but today in the light of day I don't feel like being particularly cruel so I'm going to go another direction with this week's "Beauty vs Beast" competition and celebrate one last time before we move on to new things my favourite red-carpet duo this season -- the fellas of The Favourite, Nicholas Hoult and Joe Alwyn, who trotted out their sharpest looks of the year on the red carpet, Nicky in Dior and Joe in Tom Ford. Nothing diabolical here, let's keep it light -- just choose!

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PREVIOUSLY Two weeks back it was the ladies of ROMA facing off for us, and leading lady Yalitza Aparicio took home your prize with 58% of the vote. Here's a selection of what Jones had to say (I recommend you click back and read the whole comment though because it's boss):

"To understand Cleo's character is necessary to not only understand existing at the margins of society but to be familiar with what it is like to exist at the margins of a household: being intimate without having a voice or autonomy. To people unfamiliar with these class structures and Mexican indigenous people this could read as blank but reflect again..."

Beauty vs Beast: Dame Julie, If You're Nasty

Jason Adams of MNPP here with our last "Beauty vs Beast" until the New Year, and what better way to ring out an exhausting 2018 than with a spoonful full of sugar to make all that bitter medicine go down -- the according-to-me scrumdiddlyumptious Mary Poppins Returns is hitting theaters this week and so let's get our Dame Julie Andrews on with a show-down between her two top roles, a frisky Alpine nun and a nanny from the stars... 

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PREVIOUSLY Never underestimate the power of poetry, yall -- in our re-match between Shakespease in Love and Saving Private Ryan once again twas the Bard who came out on top, with 70% of your vote. Said par:

"The pen is mightier than the sword."

Beauty vs Beast: Gold Medal Mamas

Jason Adams from MNPP here trying to think cold on a 95 degree day in New York City - let's step back in time then to the cool months of this past winter, known around these parts as Awards Season, and onto the ice, for it is Margot Robbie's birthday today and we never did a "Beauty vs Beast" for I Tonya if you can believe it. I'm a little shocked myself that we never had 'em duke it out. So here, in one corner we have Tonya Harding (Robbie), who fits this boxing talk like a glove, and in the other corner her mother LaVona (a statue-snatching parrot-wearing Allison Janney), who... is also perfectly comfortable existing inside this metaphor of the boxing ring. 

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PREVIOUSLY Last week's contest also tackled an antagonistic mother-daughter duo with Dolores Clairborne, and it was Dolores herself came up on top with a whopping 80% of your vote. Said W.J.:

"That film is a flat-out masterpiece, no joke. Awe-inspiring, fully realized performances all the way around, stirring cinematography and visual effects that stand the test of time. Glad to see it get some love."

Beauty vs Beast: Somebody's Kindness of Strangers

Howdy y'all Jason from MNPP popping in to clear my throat and let out a rollicking "STELLA!!!" in honor of the master Tennessee Williams birth - he was born in the town of Columbus, Mississippi (three hours south of Memphis) on this day in the year 1911, and went on to basically shape the entire Southern United States with his writings; I'd argue he's had more of an effect on our modern view of the sub-Mason-Dixon than maybe anybody but Margaret Mitchell did. And to think a gay man did that!

Anyway for this week's "Beauty vs Beast" let's zoom in on his most famous story, the one about the Streetcar Named Desire that you take to the one called Cemetery that you take to Elysian Fields. And yes that means we're facing down arguably two of the greatest movie performances ever put on screen - Vivien Leigh as Blanche DuBois and Marlon brando as her brother slash ape in law Stanley Kowalski. But whose side are you on? Do you wanna sparkle in that rhinestone tiara or swap sweaty tank tops with Stan?

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PREVIOUSLY Right after the Oscars we riddled you about a pair of the night's meme-worthy moments and it turns out that you'd rather ride on a jet-ski with Dame Helen Mirren than get Armie Hammer's weiner flung into your face (PS y'all crazy) to the tune of 55%. Said AlexD:

"This was impossible. But it seems reasonable that a proud queen like myself would only turn down Armie's hot dog for a real queen, Helen Mirren herself. And jet skiing at that!"