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 Gemini, Cinephile, Actressexual. Also loves cats. All material herein is written and copyrighted by him, unless otherwise noted. twitter | facebook | pinterest | tumblr | letterboxd

 

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Entries in Thoughts I Had... (13)

Wednesday
Apr022014

Thoughts I Had... While Watching The "Lucy" Trailer

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Maria Full of Grace if it had been a Luc Besson picture bankrolled by a major studio

That part with the eyeball is cool but I don't understand how increased brain capacity allows you to make your eyes change color and your hair grow super fast and change colors? These are brain functions of which I was not yet aware.

Monday
Oct142013

Thoughts I Had... About Our First Look At "Grand Budapest Hotel"

In the interest of speed and efficiency, and before all this good icing melts, my uncensored thoughts as they come to me...


• This poster looks good enough to eat. Literally. All I see is a tiered heavily frosted chocolate cake and I want it in me right now. Put it in me!

• Remember when people made such a big deal of Natalie Portman's nudity in "Hotel Chevalier" even though it was only like side butt? Will their be profile nudity in this hotel? And if so whose? My guess is Léa Seydoux though its unlikely to occur at all.

• The title signage is like delicate decorative pastel frosting (I have not eaten dinner yet, can you tell?)

• So pleased that Ralph Fiennes' career seems to be on an upswing again -- I believe he's the protagonist and butler here -- though I read the weirdest headline the other day (I didn't click on the link) about The Invisible Woman, his second directorial effort, being a misfire of a vanity project. I have seen the movie and I can't for the life of me think why it would be considered a vanity project (though "misfire", maybe) when Fiennes is SO much more handsome in real life than he allows himself to look as Charles Dickens. And Dickens doesn't even come across all that well in terms of character, either. He's no outstanding citizen in the movie. 

• Can Ralph Fiennes please do playful homages to Tim Curry and Forrest Whitaker and other famous butlers when he hits the talk show circuit. Please?

• Did Oscar winner F Murray Abraham get a new agent or something? Totally back! Homeland (sinister!), Inside Llewyn Davis (wonderfully judged cameo), and now this.

• This poster reminds me of the architectural minimalism of Chris Ware or maybe it could have been done by illustrator Max Dalton who did great stuff for Matt Zoller Seitz' new book on Wes Anderson. I want to read that book. Did any of you get it yet? 

Max Dalton print of Wes Anderson characters

• My favorite Wes Anderson movies are The Royal Tenenbaums (#1 by a margin of 375 imaginary city blocks), and Moonrise Kingdom. Hotel Chevalier and Fantastic Mr Fox tie for third. No, really.

• My best friend used to live super close to the exterior of The Royal Tenenbaums on Convent Avenue here in  NYC and I used to stare at that building in melancholic wonder every time it entered my field of view. 

• Wes Anderson is the ideal person to make a movie about a hotel because structures are like actual characters in his movie: the train in Darjeeling Unlimited, the submarine in The Life Aquatic, the tree in Mr Fox, the vertical home in Tenenbaums, and so on...

• When will Oscar voters ever warm to Anderson? Beyond the writers branch who (wisely) gets him.

• I just noticed that Anjelica Huston's name is not on this poster and it suddenly doesn't look as tasty.

Tuesday
Sep172013

Thoughts I Had... While Staring at This Poster for "Nebraska"

Behold the new poster for Alexander Payne's Oscar Bait, 2013 Edition. Thoughts I had... brought to you uncensored as they came to me while staring at it.

• This is why I shave my head.

• Gee, do you think this movie is in black and white? Black and White In Your Face

• Alexander Payne's ERASERHEAD

• DERNHEAD

 

 

• So proud of them for not caving to pressure to campaign Bruce Dern as supporting. Now let's hope they also admit that Will Forte is a lead as well (Fact: Road trip movies about two people travelling together have two leads. See also Thelma & Louise, Two for The Road, Planes Trains and Automobiles, Y Tu Mama Tambien, etcetera) 

• Recently I forced The Boyfriend to watch Alfred Hitchcock's last film Family Plot (1976) and halfway through (he's clearly hating it) whilst Dern is making a confused face onscreen he says "why is everyone in this movie so ugly?"

The Descendants was Alexander Payne's worst movie (still puzzled by the avalanche of praise if not the Oscar nominations). Can he redeem himself and make another Sideways

• When the Best Actor Nominees are announced, if Dern is among them, I promise to mock up all their movie posters like this just for comparisons sake: PROFILE vs. PROFILE!!!

• How many people do you think type in urls when they see websites listed at the bottom of movie posters or at the end of trailers?  NebraskaMovie.com 

Your Thoughts?

P.S. Oh and the movie's new trailer

 

Thursday
Sep122013

Thoughts I Had... While Staring at this Image from "Maps to the Stars"

David Cronenberg's Maps to the Stars (2014) just released this image featuring Sarah Gadon and Julianne Moore. 

my thoughts presented to you in order they appeared...

  • I welcome a good scalp massage but I'm not sure I'd want one in the context of a David Cronenberg movie. Too many orifices!
  • My visine drops repulse me this morning. Drip this movie on my eyeballs RIGHT NOW
  • Is Sarah Gadon the new _________ ?
  • This is Sarah Gadon's fourth movie directed by someone named Cronenberg.
  • Do Father & Son Cronenberg have some sort of sick threeway relationship going on with her straight out of a Cronenberg movie? Do they tie her up with rubber hoses and talk dirty about her mutant vagina?
  • Sarah Gadon does the most amazing blank face acting. She's beautiful, sure, but the beauty is blonde generic. And yet... her face is unsettling in its robotic disinterest (Cosmopolis), society frivolity (Belle), pregnant concern (Enemy) or weird ball-and-chainery (A Dangerous Method)
  • I have guilt for skipping Brandon Cronenberg's Antiviral
  • Will Julianne Moore remember what it means to be an auteur vessel after all these disappointing or at least non-challenging movies of late? It's been a long time since the Haynes days
  • I have touched Julianne Moore twice (handshake 2002 / hug 2010) but she was not naked on a table
  • If you touch Julianne Moore's ginger locks, all your wounds are healed. True fact. Sarah Gadon will live to be 100.
  • Sarah Gadon plays a character named "Clarice". Julianne Moore surely winced every time she spoke the name.
  • I keep forgetting what this movie is about but I like to be surprised so don't tell me!

 

Tuesday
Jul162013

Thoughts I Had... While Staring at Promo Images for "Edge of Tomorrow"

This movie used to be called All You Need is Kill but in the grand tradition of Hollywood, any unusual title MUST degenerate/mutate into a generic one before release. See also John Carter of, No He's Not From Mars! or Cop Gives Waitress Two Mi-- It Could Happen To You! and thousands of other movies before them...

Tom Cruise having his "get away from her you, bitch" moment?

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