Golden Globe Winners: That Damn Bear Movie and the Martian Surge.
Sunday, January 10, 2016 at 8:51PM Technical issues with my TV and my phone and my computer tonight? -- someone did some voodoo on TFE for the booziest Hollywood party this year! They suck but their timing is pure evil genius so we bow down. Obviously there will be a bit more Globes tomorrow but for tonight, a quick list of winners, super brief thoughts and amusing tweets after the jump...
We kick off with an image of an unfunny joke because it's so emblematic of the evening both because the jokes were terrible. (Ricky Gervais is the worst. And somehow he is popular enough to keep bringing back)
See there's a bear in the Revenant so Jonah Hill obviously thought was hi-lar-ious to wear a bear hoodie and claim to be the bear from the Revenant. Doesn't Jonah Hill know that the bear is is female? The surprise surge of The Revenant tonight -- which everyone (including me) thought was not in the race to win much beyond Leonardo Dicaprio's Best Survivor in a Motion Picture trophy made this fairly innocuous tweet hours before the show started from the parody account Revenant Bear look eerily prescient after the fact...
me coming for ur golden globes. (also just woke up) pic.twitter.com/PD6XC8J8eY
— Bear (@RevenantBear) January 10, 2016
I mean seriously. Did anyone predict this movie to win the most prizes tonight?
Or no, possibly this tweet was the most prescient of the night
Realizing you have 3 more hours of Ricky Gervais like #GoldenGlobes pic.twitter.com/mv8NDNI5Ns
— Joel Pavelski (@joelcifer) January 11, 2016
Because Ricky Gervais. Ugh. (I said this already. Moving on...)
This awards season has been wildly strange. At first Spotlight looked like a quiet frontrunner with The Martian as threatening populist alternative. Then suddenly female driven masterworks Carol and Mad Max: Fury Road started making bold moves for critical dominance (as well they should) with Spotlight kinda sorta holding them off. Then it the guilds were all but what about Trumbo and Straight Outta Compton and The Big Short. And Brooklyn and Room kept standing in the room but were knocked over again and again... like what are they still doing here? (clue: they've very good pictures). And now ... The Revenant? And maybe back to The Martain again. Each week we have to rethink everything.
That's healthy but it's also... strange. Because usually consensus is a mighty force that has no time for you personal feelings about "bests" It wants one or two pictures to take everything!
FILM
Picture, Drama The Revenant
Picture, Comedy The Martian
Director Inarittu, The Revenant
THE REVENANT thinks it chaws tobaccah when it actually vapes
— Jordan Hoffman (@jhoffman) January 11, 2016
When was the last time a film as bad as THE REVENANT won best picture over films as good as CAROL and MAD MAX?
— amir soltani (@amiresque) January 11, 2016
Just realised what a trick they missed by not having Lady Gaga present Best Director. "And the winner is... Alejandro, Alejandro, Ale-Ale-Al
— Guy Lodge (@GuyLodge) January 11, 2016
“pain is temporary but film is forever.” - Iñárritu on the running time of his movies.
— Nathaniel Rogers (@nathanielr) January 11, 2016
Actor, Comedy Matt Damon, The Martian
Actress, Comedy Jennier Lawrence, Joy
Actor, Drama Leonardo DiCaprio, The Revenant
Actress, Drama Brie Larson, Room
Leo, tonight pic.twitter.com/WmacO2NTj6
— robot face emoji (@weaselingaround) January 11, 2016
Leo: "...my friends, you know who you are..." pic.twitter.com/Mgrf6FTAvb
— Laura Benanti (@LauraBenanti) January 11, 2016
When Winslet and Hathaway were hungry for awards they were trashed for wanting it. But when Leo is hungry for awards, he "deserves" it.
— Dancin Dan on Film (@dancindanonfilm) January 11, 2016
“And thank you to anyone I forgot. I’ll send you a thank you card." ::kiss:: I love you Brie Larson.
— Manuel (@bmanuel) January 11, 2016
TODD HAYNES JUST KISSED BRIE LARSON CAN THEY WORK TOGETHER?!
— John Oursler (@JMOursler) January 11, 2016
Supporting Actor Sylvester Stallone, Creed
Supporting Actress Kate Winslet, Steve Jobs
Screenplay Aaron Sorkin, Steve Jobs
Animated Film Inside Out
Foreign Film Son of Saul, Hungary
Original Score Ennio Morricone, The Hateful Eight
Original Song Sam Smith, "Writings on the Wall" from Spectre
If Inside Out was about a little gay boy, his emotions would've been all the actors Lady Gaga thanked
— Paul Rudnick (@PaulRudnickNY) January 11, 2016
Let me just take this moment to remind everyone that you are all wrong about Creed, it's a garbage movie pic.twitter.com/IiKW4qKIs5
— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) January 11, 2016
Did "Carol" have a score, or did Cate Blanchett simply arrive on set and violins started playing? #GoldenGlobes
— Louis Virtel (@louisvirtel) January 11, 2016
TELEVISION
Drama Series Mr Robot
Comedy Series Mozart in the Jungle
Miniseries Wolf Hall
Actor in Musical/Comedy Series Gael Garcia Bernal, Mozart in the Jungle
Actress in Musical/Comedy Series Rachel Bloom, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
Actor in Drama Series Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Actress in Drama Series Taraji P Henson, Empire
Supporting Actor in Series, Limited Series Christian Slater, Mr Robot
Supporting Actress in Series, Limited Series Maura Tierney, The Affair
Actor in Limited Series or Movie Oscar Isaac, Show Me a Hero
Actress in Limited Series or Movie Lady Gaga, American Horror Story: Hotel
Lady Gaga. always copying Madonna .
Watch Leonardo DiCaprio react to a woman older than 25 https://t.co/6WJNtUj7WF
— Joel Pavelski (@joelcifer) January 11, 2016
AND FINALLY...
A special shout out to the bitchiest but truest diss of the night via Erik Childress...
Somewhere right now someone is furiously changing the names inside the envelopes for the Critics Choice Awards. #BFCA #GoldenGlobes
— Erik Childress (@EriktheMovieman) January 11, 2016
Reader Comments (104)
Gena -- Right? omg i would. Sometimes it's fun to think of past eras in terms of modern stuff. Like which celebrities of the past would have been Instagram queens or dubsmash gods? you know?
@BD
I agree with you on both points... the word hate is used was too often here
And GAGA ... love her singing.. but not her "acting"
I saw The Revenant on Friday and thought it was gruesome, long, and repetitive. I don't mind Leo being nominated or even winning since it's a weird year and he certainly did all that was asked of him and more. The movie itself however is hardly worthy of him. There are so many better choices out there. I'd prefer a Star Wars win (I'm serious) and I'm not even a fan.
Lady Gaga looked gorgeous and "Spotlight" should have won somehting