New "Magic Mike" Stills in Ascending Order of Hotness

It's annoying that Magic Mike did not premiere in the Lusty Month of May and even more annoying that it did not premiere for my birthday. But at least it's arriving at the tail end of Gay Pride Month, because oglers of male beauty (aka roughly 70% ? of the population including gayz, women, and straight men who aren't insecure about such things) should thank the gays for this new era of male objectification. Unrealistic self-punishing beauty standards aren't just for women anywhere. Hooray.... ?

If someone will collect all the stills and trailers and clips into one YouTube reel maybe none of us will even need to see the movie. What? Studios release way too much pre-release material. We still don't know if Magic Mike the movie is any good or not but I did hear from a reader who loved the test screening he saw (especially Chan's dancing), adding:

I'm watching this 6 times and concentrating on one hot body per viewing.

LOL. If everyone interested does that, Channing Tatum will easily have his third $100 million blockbuster of the year.

20 new stills after the jump in totally subjective factual order of hotness. Here we go.

Click to read more ...

Unnecessary Sequel Alert: Queen White and The Huntsman

Well, last weekend's box office did it. Universal has OK'ed a sequel to Snow White and the Huntsman (reviewed right here). In retrospect, they really ought to have saved the current film's actual title for the sequel since Queen Ravenna (Charlize Diva Theron) is no more -- oops, Spoiler Alert!* -- and the film will now have no choice but to focus on the title characters. The Huntsman (Chris Hemsworth) is likely to steal focus but do we really need him as the lead? Quoth The Film Doctor:

...the huntsman of Snow, proves to be a rabble-rousing drunk corralled by the evil Queen to retrieve Snow from the Dark Forest.  A blank drunk he remains.  I couldn't see why he's mentioned in the title, or what he's doing in the film except to look handsome backlit by the flames of a nocturnal fishing village set afire by the Queen's henchmen. 

But it's gotta be the Huntsman because surely they'd never push their luck and attempt a Queen White movie. I mean eve Kristen Stewart's most ardent Twilight fans wouldn't be interested in seeing her governance of a fairy tale kingdom dramatized. She isn't Streep or Mirren!

Kristen's Dilemma

If the new/old fairy tale's fresh stack of money was so lonely that it needed a sibling in 2014 wouldn't a prequel have been far more compelling since it was Evil Queen Ravenna that acted as Human Defribillator for the arrythmatic film? Not that a prequel could claim "Necessary!" either given the amount of flashback scenery Ravenna already chewed through.

Still and all... try to imagine staying awake through Snow White and the Huntsman WITHOUT Charlize Th-- hello? HELLO? WAKE UP! You can't possibly be this sleepy this early in the day.

*I apologize to all toddlers reading who are meeting Snow White for the first time. The Evil Queen dies and Santa Claus isn't real.

Twins of the Famiest Fame

we're celebrating twins daily at 2:22 pm while the stars are in Gemini

Is it rude to be so publicly excited that Elizabeth Olsen has arrived and is destined to completely surpass her older (twin) sisters? Not in fame of course, but when you consider that talent is hardly indicative of fame who cares.

This week I saw Elizabeth's onscreen debut in Peace Love and Misunderstanding (filmed before Martha Marcy May Marlene which we obsessed over plenty last year) in which she plays Jane Fonda's granddaughter.

Fonda own the movie (duh) though it should probably be noted that she has the easiest and the showiest role to play as the sexually uninhibited permissive pot-smoking hippie grandma. But just as in MMMM Elisabeth is beautiful to look upon: creamy flawless skin, understated acting, and the potential for greatness flickering constantly in those enormous eyeballs.

Pssst. More on Fonda and this movie real soon.

That's a Link Breaker, Ladies

Letters of Note "I feel every cut" an intimate glimpse back at Terry Gilliam's Brazil madness
Self Styled Siren a happy ending for For the Love of Film Blogathon III. The money raised towards film preservation (a digitial copy of a super early piece of the Hitchcock puzzle) will result in free streaming of the surviving reels this November. Well done, all!
24 Frames Broadway star Kelli O'Hara will star in not one but two new fillm drama to stage musical adaptations: Far From Heaven (previously discussed) and... The Bridges of Madison County?
The Daily Notebook 1948 was a good year for mermaids: Glynis Johns & Ann Blyth

Rope of Silicon new character photos from Anna Karenina including Keira Knightley, veiled
Pajiba says goodbye to sci-fi legend Ray Bradbury (RIP)
Antagony & Ecstacy "in space no one can hear you yawn"... on Alien Ressurection. Or is it Alien: Ressurection? 
Slate "Woman: The Other Alien in Alien" Tom Shone investigates Academia and the Alien franchise... with a Ripley focus of course
Ultra Culture "fixes" the teaser poster for Robert Zemeckis' Flight starring Denzel Washington 

Broadway Blog my friend Tom makes his educated Tony prediction guesses. Are you watching Sunday night? 
The New Yorker's this new true story article "The Yankee Comandante" about an American helping Cuban rebels overthrow their president in 1959 is already on its way to being a movie. George Clooney will direct.  
Vulture the scariest thing ever seen on television via Twin Peaks. I wholeheartedly agree. I remember actually attempting to move backwards. (Maybe I also whimpered / screamed. Shut up. You had to be there in 1991)  

Finally...
I giggled this morning when reading Stranger Than Most's "Jenna tells it like it is" a reminder of one of 30 Rock's most hilarious scenes. I'm linking because tonight I'll be at Town Hall enjoying Jane Krakowski in concert, a birthday gift from my besties. Yay. I loved Jane truly madly and deeply even before 30 Rock finally convinced everyone else that she was a comedy genius. Every drink I consume tonight will be (re)named in her honor: Jenna'sSide, The Krakowski, 'That'sADealBreakerLadies', Sexual Walkabout, CallFromTheVatican, and MuffinTop. Erm... not that I'm going to drink six drinks. No Lost Weekends for me!

Tell me how much you love Jane Krakowski and how much she deserves the Emmy for this season of 30 Rock after the jump. Don't be anything less than effusive, bitches.

Complete the Sentence

I've seen ______ movies thus far this year and the best _____ so far is totally _____.