Review: "The Avengers"

This review was originally published in my column at Towleroad...

If Agent Natasha Romanoff can interrupt an espionage interrogation to attend...

If Thor can find a way back to Earth without his rainbow bridge...

If Tony Stark can stop erecting enormous arguably phallic odes to himself for a moment...

If Captain America can get back in shape now that he's out of deep freeze...

And if Dr Bruce Banner can come out of self-imposed exile to join Marvel's THE AVENGERS, than I really ought to be able to review some movies again. Let's go.

After roughly four years of movie-length commercials for The Avengers (formerly known as: Iron Man 2, Thor, and Captain America: The First Avenger) "Earth's Mightiest Heroes" have finally assembled. To fans of the superhero genre, this probably feels like an impossible dream realized. To non-fans of the superhero genre this might play like the perfect time for a showstopping climax -take a bow and give mere mortals some movies again! The latter group should brace themselves. This particular blockbuster is lively enough to greenlight an even bigger movie family of men (and hopefully some women) in tights. MORE AFTER THE JUMP...

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The Link Initiative

The Avengers Initiative
Wired the physics of the Hulk's jump
Monkey See suggests some other team-up films that should follow The Avengers. Love the ending. Hee!
Guardian have you heard this ridiculously whiny Samuel L Jackson story? He's incensed that AO Scott gave The Avengers a thumbs down. I like AO Scott. The New York Times critic was at my screening and patiently waited in line. NY 1's Neil Rosen thought himself way too important to wait and just walked to the front. How do you like them apples? 
Scanners Jim Emerson sounds off on this same controversy (the Jackson vs Scott thing not Rosen's apples!) 

Not Relation
Empire Joseph Gordon-Levitt may headline a remake of Little Shop of Horrors (1986). Uh, good luck finding another Ellen Greene.
Coming Soon Sharlto Copley (District 9) is lining up a lot of movies. He next stars in Old Grave then Old Boy (the two films are not related) and now maybe Maleficent with Angelina Jolie
Details The Friday Night Lights movie is on! Squeeeeeeee
Cinema Blend Kellan Lutz will play a motion capture animated Tarzan in another adventure for the vine swinging ape man
The Wrap in the most important news of the century Demi Moore changes her twitter handle. She's no longers Mrs Kutcher 
Towleroad Anna Paquin "being bisexual is actually a thing"
Next Movie summer blockbusters reimagined as indies via their posters 

California readers take note: There's a three benefit celebrity-hosted performance of The Last Five Years in Hollywood this weekend. It's easily one of the five best original musicals to emerge in the last 10 years and you can buy tickets here. I can't imagine how it will quite work in terms of cumulative emotion with a rotating cast -- it's a two person musical in which the lovers tell their story forwards (the man) and backwards (the woman) simultaneously but it so transcends its gimmick. If you've never seen it, go. If you're not near Hollywood, give the CD a chance if you love musicals. 

I use to want to see it made into a movie but it's probably better left untouched since it's so very much a stage piece.

Super Hulk ?

Is it just me or does this look more like Henry Cavill as Bruce Banner than Henry Cavill as Clark Kent?

click the image for many more

I mean torn pants and raggedy ass face is so much more like Bruce After Mean-Green Bender than Clark After Super Adventure. This picture is supposedly from the set of Zach Snyder's Man of Steel (2013) but given the recent news about Joss Whedon's secret filming of Much Ado About Nothing during the whole Avengers year, I've decided to believe that they've made a third Hulk picture whilst making a sixth Superman picture. Or maybe Superman fights The Hulk during Man of Steel and Cavill plays both roles on account of some nefarious  Mr. Mxyzptlk shenanigans? Marvel/DC Crossover alert!!!

more 'on the set'

Yes, No, Maybe So: "The Avengers"

It's finally here, he says robotically. Nearly every day is Avengers day online with paparazzi shots, interviews, stills, clips, posters, and whatnot, so the trailer just means that this is a Tuesday. But we must mark the occasion. It's how we do. And if "Earth's Mightiest Heroes" are going to assemble, we'll be there for roll call.

There can be only one... CHRIS.

The movie pits the collected superheroes against Loki (Tom Hiddleston) who holds the cosmic cube that The Red Skull lost (I think? Someone get me a "previously on" clip reel) because we have to braid the individual stories of the most recent Marvel movies (Thor and Captain America) back together with the two Iron Man movies where Nick Fury (who didn't get his own movie) was collecting heroes. They're even yanking The Incredible Hulk back in to the mix though surely nobody remembers dangly story threads from ye olden times of 2008. The only thing I remember from that movie was that Edward Norton lived in the jungle and then they poisoned the air so he turned green and lept through a glass walkway until he landed on a grassy field where he fought tanks until it was rainy and time to snuggle with Liv Tyler who was married to Phil Dunphy??? And somewhere in there was Tim Roth playing with chemicals and his own body? I can't remember. I'm guessing it won't be important because they save Mark Ruffalo (Hulk #3) for that mandatory "surprise the trailer isn't over!" joke tag at the end.

YES NO MAYBE SO breakdown and the actual trailer after the jump.

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