Pirates the Fourth

Blockbuster franchises are not unlike waves in the ocean. That's true even for the ones that don't take place on the high seas. The marketing rhythmically churns them up and up until they break oh-so-formidably on opening weekend and then they're just foam. Which is to say that Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides evaporates instantly after you watch it, leaving you with precious little to remember it by that you didn't already remember from The Curse of the Black Pearl back in 2003.

Ian McShane as Blackbeard

I saw Pirates 4 only a week ago. The only things I remember are as follows...

Read the full review at Towleroad

(I'd say it's better than the other sequels but that doesn't mean I can help out its dismal rotten tomatoes score and call it "fresh". And it's quite possible that I have blocked out all memories of the 2nd and 3rd movies for self preservation purposes. Oh Johnny...)

News: Dakota's Music, Tom's Hair Metal, Cameron's Hydrophilia,

Fanning
It seems that playing Cherie Currie in The Runaways (2010) was just not enough girlgroup action for Dakota Fanning. News is she and little sister Elle are maybe doing a biopic about a failed 1960s family band The Shaggs. [src]

 Dakota, The Shaggs, and Elle

Are there any other Fanning sisters we haven't heard of yet to play the other band member(s)? If Dakota is moving backwards in time through musical biopics will we be seeing her and Elle doing The Andrews Sisters biopic set in the 1940s a decade or so from now?  There are not enough pictures, other than war movies,  set in the 1940s if you ask me.

But I'm actually a bit surprised they're in talks to do something together. Dakota and Elle aren't frequently photographed together. The pics accompanying every article about them seem to be from 2008 so I guess I'd pictured them as one of these wealthy corporate families who only see each other when they've scheduled a meeting.

Cruise
I haven't been following the journey of Rock of Ages, the Broadway hair metal 80s comedy, to the screen but it seems that Adam Shankman (Hairspray) has cast one of his reality show alums Julianne Hough opposite Tom Cruise. [src] Why do I not recall if Tom Cruise can sing?  I usually know ALL about which stars have vocal ability... on account of my 'why can't they make good musicals?' obsession. I can't even remember is Cruise is in that awesome Magnolia (1999) "Wise Up" sing-along sequence. In Rock of Ages Cruise will play "an arrogant and charming star at the top of his career." Well... it's only half a stretch then. Will spoofing himself be the key to winning back fans? Or was that what he was trying for in Knight and Day?

Have any of you seen the Broadway musical? I almost went when Tom Lenk (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) was in one of the replacement casts.

Cameron
I'm going to start a rumor that James Cameron was actually born to a mermaid, he's such a hydrophilic. Maybe he's the illegitimate lovechild of Mr Peabody and the Mermaid? I mean they met in 1948 and he was born in the early 50s. Who is with me? The latest rumor although we've heard variations of it from time to time, is that Avatar 2 is going to be set entirely underwater [THR]. It wouldn't be the first time given the adventures in The Abyss and the the entire trajectory of Titanic. Maybe Cameron should accept his true lineage and direct a live action version of The Little Mermaid. Think of the awesome action spectacle at the end when Prince Eric aims for Ursula. "Get Away From Her You Bitch Sea Witch"

More News?
Cinema Blend says that David Fincher will direct a TV pilot for Kevin Spacey. Did he lose a bet on the set of Se7en or something? In more Fincher-adjacent news, Trent Reznor, hot off his Oscar win for composing The Social Network will both score and act in Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter according to BadAss Digest.