The Long Box Office Weekend: Finding Tarzan

How was your holiday weekend? I took a rare break from blogging for a long 4th of July weekend with two friends I hadn't seen in far too long. We didn't hit the movies but for a couple of post meal watches on shared couches (The Intern & 10 Cloverfield Lane). But movies are always big business on this weekend, even without our help. It was a tough opening weekend for The BFG but both the new Tarzan and The Purge did well, Despite three major new films and a big expansion for a others like Swiss Army Man, cinemas were still under the sea. Finding Dory remains at #1 and will soon be the top grossing film of the whole year. Haven't all the fish been found by now?

TOP FIVE WIDE
1000+ screens. arrows indicate gaining or losing screens
▫️01 Finding Dory $50.1 (cum. $380.5) Review
🔺02 The Legend of Tarzan $45.5 NEW Review
🔺03 The Purge: Election Year $34.7 NEW
🔺04 The BFG $22.2 NEW
🔺05 Independence Day: Resurgence $20.2 (cum. $76.3)  Roland Emmerich

TOP FIVE LIMITED
Less than 1000 screens. Excluding previously wide. 
🔺01 Swiss Army Man $1.7 (cum. $1.8) 636 screens 
🔺02 Our Kind of Traitor $1.2 NEW 372 screens 
🔻03 Love & Friendship $512K (cum. $12.6) 185 screens Review, Podcast  
🔻04 The Lobster $425K (cum. $7.6) 151 screens Reviewish, Podcast 
🔺05 Maggie's Plan $400K (cum. $2.7)  Review
 

What did you see/do this weekend?

Review: The Legend of Tarzan (2016)

Editor's Note: This review was originally published in Nathaniel's column at Towleroad. Our "Swing Tarzan Swing" column, investigating the shifting portrayals and quality of Tarzan films over pop culture history will resume next weekend. We'll circle back to Skarsgård at the end.

You know that antipiracy text that sometimes appears on movie screens now post-credits? "The making and legal distribution of this film supported over X-many thousands of jobs." This message kept bothering me the day after seeing The Legend of Tarzan (2016). Yes, piracy is bad but you know what else is terrible? That none of those jobs were for animal trainers! I swear that not a single real animal appears in the new film, which has to be a first for a Tarzan film. And hopefully a last. It's all computer generated imagery for this jungle adventure...

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Swing, Tarzan, Swing! Ch.6: Two Horny Simpletons Walk Into the Jungle...

As we approach the release of The Legend of Tarzan (2016) we're ogling past screen incarnations of the ape man...

While there's plentiful competition for "Worst" Tarzan movie in the first 90 years of ape-man cinema, there's no competition whatsoever in the annals of Official Tarzan movies for "Least Tarzany" of all Tarzan Movies. That dubious honor belongs to the infamous 1981 Bo Derek film. Despite sharing a name with the original Weismuller film, Tarzan is, for the first time in history, a 100% bonafide Supporting Character. That's reflected in the credits where Miles O'Keeffe is third-billed and has not a single line of dialogue and in the poster, in which he doesn't appear at all! 

For younger readers explanation is definitely necessary this time. Some stars maintain name recognition after their heyday even if younger generations aren't exactly sure why they're so famous. Other names provoke blank stares. Bo Derek, still very much alive at 59, was once very famous but is surely the latter kind of star. Who?

[More, but mostly NSFW, after the jump...]

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Swing, Tarzan, Swing! Ch.5: Mike Henry gets his 007 on in the "Valley of Gold"

As we approach the release of The Legend of Tarzan (2016) we're ogling past screen incarnations of the Lord of the Apes...

Tarzan aficianados will cry foul that I've skipped ahead to 1966 in this retrospective but the awesomely named actor Jock Mahoney wouldn't mind. He only made two Tarzan films in the mid sixties... and barely finished those. He got deathly ill on the second, lost 40 lbs during the picture, and couldn't get out of the jungle fast enough. The first of those pictures lost money, too.

You see, in the wake of the phenomenal success of Dr. No (1962), From Russia With Love (1963) and Goldfinger (1964), James Bond was the new #1 adventure hero and Tarzan was old news. The Tarzan franchise took note and tried to combine the two with Tarzan and the Valley of Gold (1966), introducing the closest thing they could find to Sean Connery's swarthy dimpled masculinity: Mike Henry.

Mike Henry was a professional football player with the Los Angeles Rams but he left sports for the actor's life and donned the Tarzan's loincloth.

...Or, should we say his suit.

In addition to introducing Tarzan as a jet-setting perpetually-endangered looker in a suit, this new 007 style adventure also begins with a kitschy mod score over colorful credits, an opening action sequence that's somewhat disconnected from the movie that follows, and an intelligent international criminal with a taste for booby-trapped gifts. So, you know, we're definitely in Bond territory...

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Swing, Tarzan, Swing! Ch.4: Gordon Scott's 'Great Adventure'

As we approach the release of The Legend of Tarzan (2016) we're ogling past screen incarnations of the Lord of the Apes...

Though old franchises like Tarzan are sometimes less visually sophisticated within their eras than our current franchises (probably because the new ones are no longer cheaply produced "B" pictures but Hollywood's main attraction) in one significant way they're vastly superior: they assume the audience doesn't need a perpetual origin story and will remember who the character is from film to film.

Consider this: With Gordon Scott, we are three actors into the Lord of the Apes (within the "official" series) and with his fourth feature film go at the character Tarzan's Greatest Adventure (1959), we're twenty-one films into the franchise and they have not once felt the need to retell (or even really tell at all) Tarzan's origin story. After twenty-one films! Imagine it. Origin stories are a waste of time. You don't need to perpetually relive them, *COUGH Batman and Spider-Man*, because your audience already knows them by heart.  [more...]

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