Teen Wolf Returns, Gets "Tattoo"

With Smash gone to its grave and Mad Men nearing its end and still no official word on a second season of Bunheads (i'm losing hope) I need a new TV show to write about weekly. So indulge me in TEEN WOLF which has finally given werewolves a good name again. It's roughly three trillion times better than Hemlock Grove and roughly one billion times sexier than The Twilight Saga probably because the guys and girls are hotter and have personalities that extend beyond "mopey" and "lovestruck" though they amply cover those character traits, too.  I have flirted with covering it before writing up the first three episodes and ogling the muscles. But weirdly, though I realized the leaps and bounds it made in quality in Season 2, I didn't commit to blogging it. So... Season Three!

Teen Wolf Magical Logic #1: Werewolves can't get tattoos because they heal too quickly. Unless those tattoos are by torch in which case the healing just gives up or something?

"Tattoo"
In the first episode we pick up as the school year begins (teen shows always have this trouble of built-in expiration dates that they always botch by NOT allowing for a rotating cast of different-aged main characters right from season 1!). Scott and Stiles (Tyler Posey, Dylan O'Brien) are still pining for Alison (Crystal Reed) and Lydia (Holland Roden) who they've barely seen during the summer. Lydia's boyfriend and season 1 & 2's half villain / full hunk Jackson (Coulton Haynes) left the show *sniffle* so we learn that his rich daddy has moved him overseas. In a supernatural show where killing off a main character would be totally dramatic (and dramatically sensible) this feels like a cheat. It's obviously only Blighty so they can make an American Werewolf in London joke. That honor goes to Lydia.  [more...]

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Linkology

Details our friend Kurt interviewed Stoker baddie Matthew Goode
Salon on the depiction of Hitchcock's misogyny and voyeurism in recent biopics
Yahoo I missed this incredible make you feel super old news: Ralph Macchio is now as old as Pat Morita was inThe Karate Kid (1984). 

Guardian celebrates the worst mothers in film history from Now Voyager through Suddenly Last Summer to The Others - pretty solid choices among this collection of 10
Cinema Blend Danny Boyle apparently not interested in being the next James Bond director
/Film collects reactions to the first 30 minutes of Star Trek Into Darkness, shown in rough cut format
Awards Daily the press release for Black Nativity, a new Kasi Lemmons picture starring Angela Bassett, Jennifer Hudson and Forest Whitaker. Ooh, I hope it's good. On other note: how weird is it that Angela Bassett is the only member of that trio without an Oscar? 
NPR interview Rita Moreno on her career in musicals, movies and tv and her Oscar win...

I was sure that Judy Garland would probably win, because she was up for Judgment [at] Nuremburg. It was a straight role, not a musical. And I was so amazed and so surprised. Never even dreamed of doing a just-in-case little speech — 'and I want to thank Robert Wise and Jerry Robbins' — nothing! I didn't even work on anything like that, so when I got up there I did this memorable nonspeech. I said, 'I don't believe it!' And there's this pause, and then I say, 'Good lord.' And then I'm trying to think of something, and then I finally say, 'I leave you with that!'

I ran into the wings and I started to cry."

Hemlock Grove trailer

There's a lot of horror-themed tv shows on the way (this, Psycho-inspired The Bates Motel, and Hannibal) are you a Yes on any of them? Or perhaps a No or Maybe So

True Blood 5.2... Or, Nahhh,... TEEN WOLF Top Ten!

previously on True Blood

After a disappointing return to Bon Temps I was all primed for something closer to satisfying from the second episode of this storied show's fifth season but instead of excitement the True Blood team offered more set-up as if this were part two of the season opener rather than a stand-alone episode or a compelling stakes-raiser. When will this season actually begin? Any movie that hadn't begun after 1 hour and 30 minutes would be universally shunned but unfortunately TV series can get away with doing nothing for hours on end, everyone assuming (generously) that "something will happen next time." 

In a complete dereliction of duty, and a complete absence of self-awareness, True Blood refuses to de-clothe Chris Meloni in "Authority Always Wins"

As far I can tell there are 5 major story threads going on...

• The Authority vs. Russell (Denis O'Hare) who they thought was dead. Starring Bill & Eric.
• Tara is now a Vampire after we thought her dead. Starring Tara, Sookie, Pam & Lafayette. 
• Werewolf PackPower Struggle once their pack leader is found dead. Starring Sam, Luna, & Alcides.
• The love between Jessica ♥ Jason has died and now everyone in Bon Temps is lovelorn and lonely... particularly the plain ol' human characters and solo girl vamps who used to always hang with their makers. Starring Jason & Jessica & Hoyt & Reverend Newlend & Sheriff Andy & Holly & Pam.
• War vet buddies are haunted by a dangerous loose cannon among them. Starring Terry & Arlene.   

Within these five general stories are (presumably) little minor stories starring only one or two of the characters bringing us to the very obvious conclusion that there are too many characters is not enough of a show-running directive / understanding that "ensemble" actually means 'a large group of characters' rather than 'abundant solo acts.' Frankly, I'm losing interest. It's like a very mild (hopefully tentative) version of that time a few months back when Glee returned from hiatus and I suddenly and violently knew I simply Could Not anymore with that show. Ugh.

the only emotionally engaging thread in "Authority Always Wins" took place a century ago!

Draining the Episode Dry
Body Count: 2 (Humans in Pam/Eric flashbacks); Sex Scenes: 0; Fresh Meat: The sickeningly sexy Chris Meloni joins the cast of the most naked show on television... completely clothed. Which tells you everything you need to know about the catastrophe that season 5 is threa... you know what? I CAN'T. I CAN'T.

Today I'd much rather talk about Teen Wolf.

Ten Best Things About Season 2 Teen Wolf (thus far)

10 Even when the relationships make you groan/giggle  -- almost always --  you can still care about them. Maybe because they're teenagers and you can forgive teenagers a lot. Maybe because it's only been 1 Season and they aren't replaying the same drama for years on end (yet). Maybe because the show doesn't take itself too seriously but genuinely seems to be fond of its characters.

09 Season 2's supposed edict "more emotions, less clothing" is so far totally true.

eight more bests after the jump

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True Blood 5.1 "Turn! Turn! Turn!"

I had such a good time covering True Blood last year that I decided early on that I'd chime in again this year. Unfortunately those slutty Bon Temps whackjobs and their blaspheming god (Alan Ball) did not reward me with a fine debut. Cliffhangers are rarely the best way to end a TV season -- especially one with a really devout fanbase that's coming back anyway. They invariably make the return feel like less of a drunken celebration and more like the clean up after A Lost Weekend. No one remembers how things got so messy but excuse us while we mop up.

Turn Turn Turn... TARA? The angriest bartender in Bon Temps won't be happy about this.

There's so much clean up. Sookie's house had not one but two dead girls to dispose of (Tara and Debby) and icky leftovers (the tooth!) but to avoid Tara's death being a true one, Sookie bargains with Vampire Pam to turn her. This is a terrible terrible decision but Sookie makes notoriously terrible decisions and almost always for selfish reasons so this is par for the course. More after the jump including the usual NSFW shenanigans of those Bon Temps hookers...

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Link Window

Empire Nicole Kidman to play Grace Kelly... circa 1961, in the Monaco years
Stranger Than Most enjoys an unbeatable double feature
Cineuropa remember that Danish film A Royal Affair that made a stir at Berlinale? It's now one of the biggest selling Danish films ever. It's already sold to 76 markets. Can't wait to see it.
Cele|Bitchy Charlize Theron goes Vogue

Awards Daily mesmerizing Rear Window timelapse video 
La Daily Musto on Jeremy Renner's response to the gay rumors. (The end is priceless)
IndieWire box office winners and losers of the first quarter in the specialty market. Go A Separation! 
MNPP balloon men on Michael Bay sets
The Wrap Lindsay Lohan's transformation in 60 seconds 
Movie|Line 9 unbearable theme songs to movies in honor of Titanic's "My Heart Will Go On" 
Eric Orchard Veruca the Werewolf from Buffy hardly gets any attention.

And finally... I don't know how I missed this but this actressexual imitates all 75 supporting actress winners in 6 minutes.