Chloë Moretz is Ruining My Life

It's been so long since I had a cinematic arch-enemy: Daughter of Tippi who haunted my youth is rarely onscreen; The Swankster is hibernating (it can't be long before a "comeback" though, right?); Zeéeeee has receded so suddenly that it's feeling like Meg Ryan 2.0 (and Meg never deserved the sub zero shoulder she got so abruptly); and Nicolas Cage has marginalized himself into the peripheries of bargain bin movies... though he still has an uncanny ability to find ways to co-star with my most beloved leading ladies of various eras (Turner, Cher, Streep, Moore, Kidman).

Enter Chloë Grace Moretz.  

It's been so long since I had a cinematic arch-enemy maybe I should try to enjoy this. In a "boo hiss" sort of way, mind you. In addition to Chloë's general smug ubiquity and her sacriligeous miscasting in the Carrie remake alongside my goddess Julianne Moore (who should know better post Hannibal) she has now decided to double down on forcing me to look at her; she's attaching herself like a parasite to my all time favorite actress. She's already played Michelle Pfeiffer's daughter once in Dark Shadows. She's doing it again in Tim Robbins next directorial effort. The film, which Robbins will also star in, is called Man Under.

Variety describes it like so:

In the vein of "American Beauty" and "The Royal Tenenbaums," pic follows a Yonkers family whose lives are changed forever when a photo of them ends up in the Museum of Modern Art.

Now, there's no word yet on if they're officially mother and daughter again this time but considering it's a movie about a troubled family, it's a safe bet.

The silver lining? At least this means Michelle Pfeiffer wasn't lying when she said she wanted to get back to work. If filming gets under way soon on this one, we'll have two Pfeiffer pictures in 2013! See also the crime comedy Malavita. 

Secret Messages: "8:15 829 Moraga"

secret messages from the movies

Ideas. Broad strokes."

Can you guess the movie?

Tarzan, Lord of the Links

TMZ Carrie Fisher 'damn right she wants to be in Star Wars Episode VII'
Pajiba '11 Heir Apparent Brit Actors to Hugh Grant's Hair.' Hee
Vanity Fair photographs Olivia Munn! (Q: Wasn't she superb in Magic Mike? A: Yes) 
i09 Jeff Bridges was always going to play The Giver. He finally has a director. Maybe. 
Awards Circuit likes Lionsgate's chances in two of the lead acting categories 

The Envelope Skyfall would like a Best Picture nomination, please
All Things Twitter killed the fail whale on election night
Towleroad Barack Obama's election night tweet becomes the most popular tweet of all time
Joe Pitt is sharing concept art from Wreck-It Ralph. You can see the evolution of the new hit character
Hollywood.com celebrates Movember with dos and don't of the moustache via celebrity photos. The only time I've ever done a 'stache was for a Halloween costume and my god it was a terrible look for me! Never again.
BuzzFeed pays tribute to the fallen on Walking Dead (spoilers). I stopped watching the show halfway through Season 2 (exactly like Season 1 only slower!) but people seem to like Season 3 
HitFix thinks that Flight is now a legit Oscar contender. It's not just for Best Actor anymore... 
The Broadway Blog looks at the reviews for The Heiress on Broadway starring Jessica Chastain 

Finally, Warner Bros still wants to reboot the once very lucrative Tarzan franchise... and David Yates (who directed the last half of the Harry Potter franchise) is their man for the job. I'd caution them that maybe today's moviegoers don't care about Tarzan. I know personally that everytime I try to generate interest in Tarzan (I have a soft spot for those movies) comments seem to vanish. The last time anybody got seriously excited about Tarzan, in my recollection, was Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan Lord of the Apes -- the only "prestige" Tarzan to date -- and that was nearly 30 years ago. Sure the Disney version in 1999 was a hit but it also was the fumes at the tail end of Disney's second Golden Age and Disney animated features have never been quite the same afterwards. They're already talking about name actors but if you ask me they'd be crazy not to go with an unknown. Tarzan the character is, by nature, a discovery. 

Complete the Sentence. If I were...

Happy Post Election Day!

If I were President of the Movies my platform would  ___________________________ and I'd definitely appoint _________________ to a cabinet position, "Secretary of ________________."

See if you can energize your base in the comments!

Our Kind of Voting Pt. 2

image shamelessly grabbed from My New Plaid PantsI'm feeling anxious today -- everyone around me is too.

We won't know who won the Presidential Election until late tonight but since all I can think of today is voting, we'll continue with our actual favorite kind of voting: Oscar voting.

Or, rather, retroactive hypothetical Oscar voting. See part one if you missed it or enjoy this exercize

So tell me who wins your vote in some of the most famously divisive, contentious, or just plain fabulous categories ever! Explain your choices in the comments.

2003 BEST ACTOR
SEAN PENN (Mystic River) vs. BILL MURRAY (Lost in Translation) vs. JOHNNY DEPP (Pirates of the Caribbean) vs JUDE LAW (Cold Mountain) vs BEN KINGSLEY (House of Sand and Fog)

1974 BEST ACTRESS
ELLEN BURSTYN (Alice Doesn’t…) vs. DIAHAN CARROLL (Claudine) vs. FAYE DUNAWAY (Chinatown) vs. VALERIE PERRINE (Lenny) vs. GENA ROWLANDS (A Woman Under the Influence)

1939 BEST PICTURE
GONE WITH THE WIND vs DARK VICTORY vs GOODBYE MR CHIPS vs LOVE AFFAIR vs MR SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON vs NINOTCHKA vs OF MICE AND MEN vs STAGECOACH vs THE WIZARD OF OZ vs WUTHERING HEIGHTS

2007 BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
CATE BLANCHETT (I’m Not There) vs. AMY RYAN (Gone Baby Gone) vs. SAOIRSE RONAN (Atonement) vs. RUBY DEE (American Gangster) vs TILDA SWINTON (Michael Clayton)

Ready? Set. Go!