Red Carpet Convo: Frock of (All) Ages & the Prometheus Crew

Red Carpet Convos is back!

Nathaniel:  ‪Hi Joanna! ‬We haven't talked in ages. 

Joanna:  ‪I know.  And I've had so many things to say!‬

Nathaniel: ‪Try to squeeze them all in rightnow. Since the Red Carpet Convo series has been pretty much dormant since Oscar night, we'll reboot with a prequel of sorts. We're going WAY back to the Tonys (very briefly) and the Prometheus premiere. In Internet time that's like, what, three years ago?‬ 

Joanna:  ‪In a galaxy far far away.  And are you starting me back with Prometheus because you know of my Fassbender obsession?‬

Noomi, Lisbeth, Salma, Fassy & Charlize

Nathaniel: Listen, at this point it's safe to assume that everyone has the Fassbender obsession. But I don't mind sharing.‬

Joanna:  ‪Very generous of you.  Then let's discuss my favorite accessory of the red carpet this year.  The Ginger Beard.‬

Nathaniel:  ‪It's everywhere!‬ 

Ginger Beards, Appliqué Madness & Synthetic Starlets After the Jump...

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Twins: Disney Villains x 2

Celebrating twins daily at 2:22 PM while we're in Gemini

Not all twins share the same parents. Though I suppose one could argue that Walt Disney's children are legion.

Case #1

Ursula & Medusa

If Ursula had legs and Medusa could join her crocs in the water, they could practically become a synchronized swim team.

• One wave memorable up-dos offset by dangly earrings
• Drag queen ready make-up
• Explicitly bra-less bouncing boobage and slovenly bodies
• Adores lounging about on seashell like thrones
• Terrible at feigning niceness to young girls
• ...but great at manipulating them into dangerous situations.
• Two reptilian henchmen (Flotsam & Jetsam / Brutus & Nero)

Case #2

Lady Tremaine & Maleficent

• High cheekbones, arched eyebrows, altogether angular gorgon beauty
• Fond of the purple collar
• Really really fussy about Royal Events and who is and is not invited to such things
• Identical Twin voices courtesy of the same actress Eleanor Audley (pictured above)

Case #3... ??? Make it in the comments.

Rock of Ages Will Rock You... (Or At Least Lightly Jostle You)

This review was originally published in my column at Towleroad

At a recent press screening in Manhattan, heavily attended by the gays, the choreographer turned So You Think You Can Dance judge turned movie director Adam Shankman cheerfully introduced the screening of his latest stage-to-screen musical Rock of Ages. It's his first musical since the exuberant Hairspray (2007) and he charmingly expressed his nerves and excitement about showing it off. He invited the assembled crowd to not take the movie too seriously, "dumb fun!", and sing along with it if they felt the urge. I was sitting near the front and as Shankman bounded up the stairs to exit from the back, he shouted out  'Oh, and I'm gay' as a "no shit" style punchline. The crowd laughed and the lights went out. 

The energy of Shankman's introduction can't have hurt the screening but his invitation to sing-along proved redundant. It doesn't take long for the movie to send out its own karaoke invitation.  In the jukebox movie musical's very first number we meet a small town girl, living in a lonely world, who takes a midnight train bus going anywhere. Her name is Sherry Christian (Julianne Hough) but she's not exactly going anywhere. She's purposefully headed to Los Angeles to try to make it in the music business. No sooner has she begun singing "Sister Christian" (get it? Um… haha?) than the unnamed extras on the bus start grabbing solo lines from the verses until the whole bus is singing about Sister Christian. Her time has come!  

Upon her arrival in the big city, this girl from the sticks lands both a new job and a new bartender/songwriter boyfriend (Cam Gigandet) at a famous club operated by a beleaguered old pro (Cher) and her gayish sidekick (Stanley Tucci). The club is having financial trouble thanks in part to a mercenary money man (Eric Dane) and hopes that a big voice (Christina Aguilera) will resurrect its fortu--- NO, WAIT. THAT'S BURLESQUE! More after the jump...

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Someone Needs To Get More Sleep...

Someone named Christian Bale (pictured on the set of Terrence Malick's Knight of Cups) 

Hasn't he seen The Machinist?  Insomnia is dangerous!

Thoughts I Had... About 5 Recent Movie Dads

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to all the readers celebrating their dad today whether or not he's a movie-lover. Especially big props go out to the proud papa readers out there raising their own movie-mad tots. (Please tell me you're starting them young! If so, I approve.) 

Today is my first father's day without my own dad so to distract me from this distressing realization which ruined an otherwise wonderful morning chez moi, I wrote this impromptu brain vomit list. Feel free to share your own in the comments...

The royal clan in BRAVE (2012)

Thoughts I Had on the Six Most Recent Movie Dads Screened

"King Fergus" (Billy Connolly) in BRAVE
I don't want to give too much away about Pixar's first "princess" movie, but let it suffice to say that I was very surprised that the Queen and not just the princess is so major in the narrative. It really is their first GIRL movie (...though not quite bent or rocking enough to be their first GURL or GRRRL movie). The movie's soul and heroism are female-centered but Brave also features a large collection of proud papas starting with the formidable King Fergus his leg legendary eaten by a fierce black bear. He may be a warrior but he is a big softie when it comes to the women in his life. The other proud dads on display -- each suggesting that their first born son deserves Princess Merida's hand -- are mostly comic relief and the animators clearly had great fun detailing  the similarities, differences and delusions in the father/son dynamics.

Ancient ancient Guy Pearce in "Prometheus""Peter Weyland" (Guy Pearce) in PROMETHEUS
SPOILER ALERT. The Evil* Weyland Corporation's ancient dead figurehead is seen only in holograms and flashbacks until he isn't. Ta da! He's still alive. Cyrogenically frozen just like Walt Disney and other Empire Builders and Iconic World Changers are always rumored to be at one point or another. You didn't see saw that coming, I take it. What I didn't see coming was that "David" (Michael Fassbender) and "Meredith Vickers" (Charlize Theron) were essentially siblings. This is completely and wonderfully "duh!" obvious in retrospect given their mutual Aryan iceiness, stiff gaits and weirdly intimate vibe of 'we avoid each other.' Perhaps I was too blinded by involuntary fantasies of a robotic blonde horizontal mambo to realize the fantasy was incestuous.

Of all the scripted and unscripted mysteries of Prometheus the one that bothers me most is Why the Hell Did You Hire 44 Year Old Guy Pearce to play this character when Max von Sydow, Christopher Lee, Peter O'Toole, Sir Ian McKellen and any number of other tall, thin, great elderly actors wouldn't have required an extensive make up prosthetics team to help them act the role. True they're more expensive than make up artists but so is Guy Pearce! 

*The "Evil" is silent in Evil Weyland Corporation. It's the Corporation and Aliens so everyone understands this.

"Darryl Van Horne" (Jack Nicholson) in THE WITCHES OF EASTWICK
Jack's horny devil is very interested in impregnating the beautiful lonely big-haired movie star goddesses in this supernatural 80s comedy but he doesn't get to share custody. Who should play his sons in the imaginary sequel I long for?

Gay Son and Ignorant Dad in "Loose Cannons""Vincenzo Cantone" (Ennio Fantastichini) in LOOSE CANNONS
I had never seen this gay comedy from Turkish/Italian director Ferzan Ozpeteck and I think it might be the best of his films. It's the story of the gay son of a traditional family who run a pasta empire. The son fears coming out because his dad Vincenzo is a TOTAL drama queen about the gays. He just can't deal. It's rare to see a coming out comedy with this much gentle needling of homophobia that doesn't feel the need to demonize the people who suffer from it holding on to it (like Vincenzo). Loose Cannon just accepts that some people, some dads, have issues. You gotta be your own man anyway.

Loose Cannons is currently playing on iTunes as part of Focus Features Gay Pride Celebration this month

"Wink" (Dwight Henry) in BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD
I'm still processing this movie but the father / daughter relationship at its center is heartbreakingly intimate without actual physical intimacy. "Hushpuppy," Wink's daughter, longs for more affection but Wink insists that his six year old live in her own house and fend (mostly) for herself. Tenderness is weakness in The Bathtub...

P.S. It's best to know very little about this movie before seeing it so ignore the clips, the trailers, the reviews and just go see it when it comes out. It's a true original and how often do movie theaters play those?! Treasure them.

"Mark" (Kyle MacLachlan) in PEACE, LOVE & MISUNDERSTANDING
Why does Kyle Maclachlan always dick dads / philandering husbands? He used to play so square they're hip guys in stiff suits. When David Lynch abandoned him it all went down hill!

What movie dads have you been watching?