My Magnificent 'Aliens' Obsession

Kurt here.

Some boys of a certain persuasion – which is to say young gay cinephiles – may have found themselves a kindred, tuneful spirit in Fanny Brice, or fed their fabulous longings with [insert stereotypical icon here]. More power to 'em. For me, though, it was always about Ellen Ripley, Lt. First Class. For my boundless Ripley love, I have to at least partially thank a cocktail of deep-seeded denial and flamboyance rejection, as I was much more prepared to accept an angry woman with a gun as my savior than a ballad-belting showboat. I didn't want Schwarzenegger, but I wasn't ready for Cher. And I certainly have no regrets.

Since I wasn't donning feather boas, I'm sure my parents didn't think much of it when I began strapping toy rifles together with all manner of black plastic tubes and electrical tape, so as to recreate that shell-firing, flame-throwing, grenade-launching monstrosity that Ripley uses to resurface the industrial spaces on LV-426 (if memory serves, a black snorkel was even used as an extra gun barrel). I doubt I tripped their gaydar when I put two four-legged ottomans flush against the living room chair, then proceeded to crawl on the floor, weapon in hand, through my improvised air shaft.

Was I in drag? No. But make no mistake – I was diva-channeling.

Aliens, far and away my favorite action movie of all time, was also a liberating gay outlet long before I knew I was gay. That inherent gay need to fall headfirst in love with glorious females of outsized character was more than fulfilled by this watershed movie of womanly badassness. And my obsession with it spread well beyond playacting with plastic rifles. I regularly whipped up drawings of Ripley and those H.R. Giger beasties (I dug up some of them for this post).

I was close with these twin brothers at one point, and our friendship was pretty much based on our mutual Aliens enthusiasm – that, and the fact that they had all the action figures, even the yellow power-loader thingie. The twins' backyard was home to many an Aliens reenactment, with each of us alternating the role of James Cameron (“Okay – you be Hudson, and you be Vasquez!”). The guys never knew I was actually getting my Barbie on.

Her highnessMy mother was pregnant with my sister when she went to see Alien with my dad in 1979 (needless to say, she henceforth had a nightmare-filled pregnancy). This story has never made much sense to me, as I'm certainly the one who seems to have been psychically willed into Alien Saga obsession from the womb, not my sister. My sister doesn't even like SigWeavie. “She's ugly,” she says. (Oh yes, she did.)

Of the many gifts I've received from this franchise, the most cherished is a lifelong interest in Sigourney (who is not ugly, Heather). You'll see in the doodles that I was particularly fond of her jawline, which, by my hand, is ridiculously pronounced. I like to pretend that this masculine feature had a hand in getting Siggy the job in the first place, and I don't even know where to begin in addressing the sexual themes I suddenly realize it might represent for me. That's a lot of implications for one little post...

All this, and I haven't said a lick about Aliens's greatness as a film. I have no idea how many times I've seen it, and it's a long movie to have watched so repeatedly. I can honestly say there's not a single part that bores me, not even the mess hall conversations or the Ripley-can't-sleep prelude. This is a film that gets up, gets going and keeps going. It is notable for so much more than its titular nemeses, yet I can't pick a better creature feature (for Best Shot, which I sadly didn't participate in, I choose the pan that reveals the enormity of the alien queen, in her lair, on her throne – it's absolutely jaw-dropping). I think the best way I've ever heard Aliens described is that it has a beating heart – a racing pulse that's palpable. I'd say that it's certainly close to my heart, but that might sound kinda gay.

Stray Emmy Observations (and Supporting Actress)

Raising Hope is Wacky. So is the definition of "GUEST ACTOR"Now that this morning's Emmy nominations have sunk in here's a few things we didn't cover earlier or didn't dig deep enough into in the earlier rundown, largely inspired by your comments.

Guest Actress in a Comedy Series
This is where we are reminded that the Emmys have too many categories and category fraud adjusts to include all of them. How on god's green earth is Cloris Leachman a "guest actress" on Raising Hope when she's a member of the main family and in every single episode? I see her winning with that unfortunate advantage given that the Glee nominees (Gwyneth Paltrow, Kristin Chenoweth, Dot Marie Jones as "Beiste") may cancel each other out and Tina Fey (as host of SNL) is already buried in Emmys. Since I am adamantly opposed to category fraud and since Gwynnie's follow up Glee visits paled in comparison to her first and since Cheno had virtually nothing to do this season, my vote would have to go to Elizabeth Banks for 30 Rock.

Guest Actor & Actress in Drama Series
These categories usually belong to the Law & Order franchise but this year we're blissfully absent of rapists, perverts and victims. Unless some of the characters I'm unfamiliar with qualify and who knows. Three Mad Men made the grade including Cara Buono's jilted businesswoman, Robert Morse ("Cooper" of Sterling Cooper) and everyone's favorite dead woman "Miss Blankenship" (Randee Heller). 

"'Who got an Emmy nod for mouthing off and getting Lafayette laid proper?' I DID, HOOKER"True Blood's Troubles
True Blood which we've been writing about generally gets 3-5 Emmy nominations but last year it added a surprise "Best Drama Series" to its tally. This year it was demoted again with only four nominations for its third season, the one about the V addicted werewolves and the King of Mississippi. The weirdest bit of awards trivia for True Blood though: It has never been nominated for any acting prizes with Emmy (it's won Globes) until now and the person who did it for them is Alfre Woodard who basically only cameo'd in Season 3 as Lafayette's crazy homophobic mama.

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Nicole Kidman & Snow Flower

Australia beauty Nicole Kidman just hit a NYC screening of Snow Flower and the Secret Fan. Was she there to see co-star Hugh Jackman's cameo? (The restraint that the Snow Flower marketing team has is incredible; they don't show him in the trailer at all!) 

Incidentally this is not "Snow Flower" in the picture with Nic but the actress Li Bingbing who plays "Nina / Lily" in the film which makes me giggle. I suddenly pictured her starring in a fictionalized version of the making of Black Swan as both Mila & Natalie!

Yes, No, Maybe So: "John Carter"

With Hollywood searching madly for the next franchise and the next one after that -- which can mean billions upon billions of dollars even when you stop trying (Deathly Hallows Pt 1, Pirates part whichever, Etcetera) -- so why not John Carter of Mars. He's the other oft-naked hero from Tarzan creator Edgar Rice Burroughs. If Tarzan could generate millions upon millions for decades upon decades, why not this other guy?

Taylor Kitsch is THE PRINCE OF PERSIA JOHN CARTER.

So on March 9th, 2012 John Carter arrives on Mars... albeit without Mars in his franchise title. Weirdness. After a decade of ever-lenghtening film titles, Hollywood has decided to go short again. The Invention of Hugo Cabret becomes the boring "Hugo" and John Carter of Mars becomes the boring "John Carter". Hopefully the movies bearing these names aren't similarly reductive.

Let's break down the trailer with our patented Yes No Maybe So system. How badly do we want this one?

Writers never tire of naming their messiahs JC  - SUBTLE! -- but we're curious about this "John Carter" fellow and his director, too. After five years of heavy glowering and heavy drinking and sensitive soulfulness on Friday Night Lights will Taylor Kitsch's charisma transfer to the big screen. That cameo in X-Men Origins: Wolverine (let us never speak of that fi---oh, damnit!!!) was eyegrabbing but will he be able to carry an entire movie? The other huge question mark here in terms of transferring is Finding Nemo / WALL•E director Andrew Stanton. How well will his gift transfer to live action (a similar challenge awaits Brad Bird in Mission Impossible - Ghost Protocol) . We're ready to find out.

Like many fans of Pixar, we hoped for a huge genre leap for Pixar when this was first announced; why shouldn't the great animated studio do a dramatic sci-fi action flick with their insane technological wizardy? Alas the only thing that appears to be animated here are the super tall multi-limbed martians. And if this trailer is any indication they stick out like... well... animated characters in live-action filmmaking often do. That last line reading is curiously disheartening too.

When I saw you I believed it was a sign that something new could come into this world.

...because, you see, this movie doesn't look "new" at all. It doesn't look like some great new hope coming to our movie world. It looks like every other movie! You've got costumes that give you Prince of Persia or Zardoz flashbacks, you've got animated superhero leaps in the desert that recall Hulk's big jumping bean moment or maybe something from that Immortals trailer. Mars doesn't look otherworldly really unless by other worlds you mean Tattooine. And why are John Carter and his love interest (Lynn Collins) wearing so many clothes? We knew they couldn't be starkers like they often are in the book, but why so much material even covering their midriffs? On the other hand this trailer is very short and perhaps they're saving the provocative or eye-candy imagery for the movie itself and maybe it'll all be magic in context.

We're a maybe so for the source material, the director/star double risk, and the off chance that the movie is a helluva lot weirder than this generic peak. But we're starting to worry about leaning full on "no".

You?

Emmy Nominations 2011: Friday Night Lights (FINALLY) and More...

We'll start with the biggies: Drama, Comedy and Lead Actresses. Yes, that is the Big Four -- well, to the Film Experience it is!

Best Drama Series
Boardwalk Empire
Dexter
Friday Night Lights *my vote because it's the last season and because I'm so mad at Mad Men for not returning this summer.*
Game of Thrones
The Good Wife
Mad Men

Aside from the way-better-late-than-never inclusion of Friday Night Lights, finally elevated to "Best" status in its fifth and final season, despite always having been better than the other nominees, save Mad Men, the newbie is HBO's Game of Thrones. We've discussed it a few times (in short: I'm less impressed than most though it has its moments). But still can we get crazy drunk and jubilant for Friday Night Lights?

Who will win? Can Mad Men do it again or will The Good Wife which is obviously beloved by the acting community take its first "best series" win?

Best Comedy Series
30 Rock
The Big Bang Theory
Glee
Modern Family
The Office
Parks and Recreation *my vote*

Bummed that Nurse Jackie or Raising Hope aren't cited. Hasn't The Office outstayed its welcome and doesn't The Big Bang Theory have a laughtrack? Ugh. This category could have been so beautifully modern? If it doesn't I apologize. But what a relief that Two and Half Men isn't stinking up the category anymore. Who will win? My guess is that the consistently hilarious Modern Family continues its reign though if we're voting for Most Improved, Parks and Recreation takes all; what a season.

Comedy Lead Actress
Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Laura Linney, The Big C
Melissa McCarthy, Mike and Molly
Martha Plimpton, Raising Hope
Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation *my vote*

Was The United States of Tara not eligible? Nomination I'm happiest about: Martha Plimpton in Raising Hope. I've been a fan of Martha Plimpton since the mid 80s and am so happy to see her having such a great decade lately what with the Broadway stardom and now the TV hilarity. Plus her twitter feed is love.

Who will win? I love Tina Fey as much as the rest of the world except that she does not deserve to keep winning acting prizes. Let's spread the wealth Emmy.

Drama Lead Actress
Kathy Bates, Harry's Law
Connie Britton, Friday Night Lights *my vote*
Mirielle Enos, The Killing
Mariska Hargitay, Law and Order: Special Victims Unit
Julianne Marguiles, The Good Wife
Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men

Apologies to our Annie Wilkes but what, pray tell,  is the often great Kathy Bates doing here? I have literally never been more bored by her than on this very show as if she was heavily medicated or too sleepy to act. I tried twice though it didn't help that the show was plain old stale, like a series we might have seen 12 years ago but not now with the impressive elevation of TV drama over the past decade. Hooray for Britton who really ought to win this for five unimproveably naturalistic years on FNL. I'm trying to make peace with the fact that next time someone casts her in something it's bound to be a character-less procedural but I'm having a hard time. I will miss Tammy Taylor way too much. Who will win? It's obviously Marguiles, right?

But wait there's more...

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