"Who Will Rescue Me?"

I'm lost at sea without a friend
This journey, will it ever end?
Who will rescue me?

So... goes the ballad that opens The Rescuers (1977), as Little Orphan Penny drops her message in a bottle into the swamp. I swear Shelby Flint's vocals dribbled out over the sides of my television like syrup. Who will rescue me from this treacle?!?

It wasn't always this way with The Rescuers and me. In fact, as a child it was one of my favorite movies. (When you voted for it in a poll some time ago, I was excited to revisit it!) As it turns out, sometimes childhood loves are best left in childhood.

Has this ever happened to you with an old formerly beloved movie?

As you can see in the still above, the animation team let the texture of the canvas bleed through and for a few seconds as the movie kicked off I thought "how lovely" (I'm not always so pleased with today's beautiful and shiny but often sterile animated images) but as the movie progressed it turned out not so lovely at all, a mess of inconsistent animation that often looked rushed through production.

For those who need a refresher, The Rescuers is about a girl named Penny who has been "borrowed" from her orphanage by a pawn shop owner named "Medusa" (wicked highly enjoyable voicework from Oscar regular Geraldine Page). Medusa wants a gargantuan diamond called The Devil's Eye which is buried in a cave that Penny is small enough to slip into in a creepy place called Devil's Bayou. Penny's bottled cry for help reaches the Rescue Aid Society, an international organization of ethnically and geographically stereotyped mice who meet in the United Nations building: HIGH CONCEPT!

While the characters are cute enough -- particularly elegant rodent Bianca (Eva Gabor) and a dragonfly named Evinrud -- the primary emotion that The Rescuers seems to be going for is pity. It works but "pity" isn't the most cathartic or endearing emotion to rest a whole movie on. Penny is either too young, too dumb or too helpless to be carrying this picture. The other significant problem is that despite a scant 78 minute running time, there's not enough plot to fill it with. Time and again we have a plot complications that are as thrilling as treading water. The narrative doesn't actually move until the complication is over. Like so:

1. Oh no, the mice are in trouble.
2. Cue frantic activity on or offscreen!
3. Whew, the mice are okay. So...
4. Back to the plot where you left it. Proceed.

And let's not even talk about the excessive amount of time we spent with the albatross Orville [yawn]. He's mere connective tissue to take you from Act 1 (New York) to Act 2 (Devil's Bayou) and last time I checked no intermission between acts ever lasted as long as Orville's fumbling flying routine.

The pictures sole bright spot then is Madame Medusa.

Seeing the movie as an adult, it's shocking to realize that she's nearly a carbon copy of Cruella de Vil: She enters the picture throwing open a door violently; She loses her temper constantly; She drives like a madwoman in vehicles that leave huge puffs of smoke behind them; She has a bumbling human henchman she despises; She has a one track mind (fur/diamonds) and she even has a scene where she slows down her "car" creepily while searching for the hiding protagonist, that immediately brings the famous "soot" scene in 101 Dalmatians to mind. When she's not recalling Cruella she's lifting Miss Hannigan from Annie.

In other words, she's no original.

Disney Generations: Cruela begat Medusa begat Ursula.

But if we needed Medusa as a missing link evolutionary step to get us from Cruella to Ursula than we owe Medusa a bag full of those diamonds she covets. Movie buffs have long noted that Disney has two types of villains: rotund or spindly. Medusa splits the difference, her arms and legs are skinny and her movements scream "bony villain" with their sharp angles, yet her body is saggy and slovenly. You know she's not the slip of a thing that she used to be. In 10 more years, she'll be a big as a house(boat). 

Though I can no longer claim I have any affection for The Rescuers, I still completely dig Medusa and her darling crocodiles Flotsam and Jetsam.... I mean, Nero and Brutus! They're keepers. Or at least placeholders until Ursula, Flotsam & Jetsam arrive 12 years later for The Little Mermaid.

The Rescuers: C
Related Posts: Beauty & The Beast and 101 Dalmatians.

X-Men: First Adaptation

Andreas here. In his recent review of X-Men: First Class, Nathaniel pointed out how movies keep trying to master "television's most powerful asset (long form storytelling) without having the right equipment by which to master it (weekly hour-long episodes)." This is exactly why, to my mind, the most successful adaptation of the X-Men comics to date wasn't directed by Bryan Singer, and doesn't have a numeral after it. It's the Marvel/Saban-produced X-Men: The Animated Series, which ran for 76 episodes in the mid-'90s.

Like many superhero-themed TV shows, X-Men: TAS served as a "greatest hits" compilation, compacting decades of comics storylines into dense, bite-sized portions. It showcased some of the comics' most thrilling narrative arcs and most terrifying villains, like Apocalypse and the Sentinels. While the X-Men films have only scratched the surface of most characters, reserving the vast majority of screen time for Xavier, Magneto, and a few privileged others, the animated series had time to explore its mutant ensemble, devoting whole episodes to individual crises.

Better yet, X-Men: TAS used its guise a kids show (complete with lasers, spaceships, and time travel) to introduce a new generation to a range of social issues: institutionalized oppression, harassment, self-loathing, political assassinations, police states, and more. It was covertly progressive and slyly written in ways that are still impressive today. The show ended its run over a decade ago, yet its main authority figures (who doubled as bad-ass warriors) were a black woman and a disabled man.

So while I'm still excited to see X-Men: First Class, I doubt it'll top X-Men: The Animated Series, which embraced and exploited its source material's superpowered soap opera. (It was also my childhood gateway drug into the nerdy world of superheroes and comics, so that nostalgic attachment helps.)

I'll close with my big wish as a cinephile and animation junkie: why can't we get more high-quality, feature-length, animated superhero movies, à la Batman: Mask of the Phantasm? Bad example, I guess, since that was tragically unprofitable... but the idea's still good! I'd definitely pay $8-10 to see X-Men: The Animated Movie on the big screen. Oh, and Marvel, while you're catering to my dreams: can you please bring back the Sentinels?

What dreams would you like Marvel to fulfill?

Introducing... Princess Merida

For what seemed like 17 weeks, I kept receiving 'character intro' emails introducing each new set of wheels for Pixar's Cars 2. That's Junk Mail! Even if you're one of those peculiar people who really loved Cars, could you possibly care enough to need weeks upon weeks of rollout images of sad descendants of Herbie the Love Bug (I'm sorry but Herbie > Cars) prior to release? I keep trying to pretend that Cars and its sequel don't exist so that I can enjoy the happy mass delusion that Pixar has never made a dud. Why do they have to make it so hard with the constant marketing. Don't make me think about Cars 2!

Here's a character worth getting a first good look at as seen at the Daily What. It's Princess Merida from BRAVE which will open on June 22nd, 2012.

Yay! She looks a bit like Lil' Orphan Annie but with pupils and warrior skills. And Sandy the dog is a big black horse.

Okay, they don't look a thing alike but we love the gingers at the movies. They're like one big feisty sorority with Julianne Moore as the head sister. Nicole Kidman is constantly having to go through initation and hazing all over again since she can't commit to the red.

May Flowers: Beauty & The Beast (1991)

may flowers

Under the heading of Better Late Than Never, let's take a look at Disney's classic Beauty & The Beast (1991). We ... or I should say you... covered it previously in the Hit Me With Your Best Shot series. I stumbled and fell down its gothic mansion steps, completely missing that spinning gala ball. (You know the one: Angela Lansbury sang the theme song in the background.) The related truth of the matter is that Belle isn't so punctual herself. She arrives at basically the last possible moment to rescue The Beast from the ancient curse. If he doesn't find true requited love before his magic flower loses its last petal, he remains a beast forever.

Halfway through the movie, Belle, against her captor's wishes, heads into the forbidden West Wing where she sees two distorted images. The first is her own face fractured into a half a dozen pieces in a broken mirror. The second is a portrait of The Beast, in his original form as the Handsome Prince Not-So Charming; hence, the curse.

 
In these two closely related nearly consecutive images, her beauty is momentarily as ravaged as his. It's a smart visual foreshadowing that they're actually soul mates, though neither of them know that yet. Belle does not jump in fear when she sees her own face splintered as many people do when surprised by a discomfiting reflection. Her curiousity is always engaged, proving a far more defining character trait of this particular heroine than fear. (She's not, as we realize fairly in the narrative, your garden variety damsel in distress.)

Moments later, distracted by a glow behind her, she finds the Beast's magical flower. In this riveting shot, my choice for the film's best as its gorgeously composed and marries color, character and narrative,  he leaps in to shield the flower from her curiousity. Curiousity may kill the cat, but the Beast is no feline; sure he's lion-like but this species is Hocusus Pocusus.

Do you realize what you could have done?

...he bellows, but are magical flowers, really that delicate? We're guessing no.

What he's really protecting is his own heart. It's the Beast and not the Beauty who is emotionally fragile. It's The Beast and not the Beauty who is emotionally rather than intellectually or physically driven, making Beauty & The Beast a wonderful twist on the traditional gender roles that Disney fairy tales spring from.

Pleasurable as that twist alone would be, the film is yet richer.

Allowing yourself to love and to be loved in return, something The Beast has yet to master, is neither a feminine nor a masculine challenge, but a human struggle. Beauty and The Beast has one of the best scores in animated musical history, but a Madonna song thrums in the background for me as the alternate and most descriptive soundtrack of The Beast's emotional journey.

You're so consumed with how much you get
You waste your time on hate and regret,
You're broken...
when you're hearts not open

Love is a bird, she needs to fly
Let all the hurt inside of you die
You're frozen...
when your hearts not open

Mmmm, if Belle can melt his heart. Mmmm, they'll never be apart.

BE OUR GUEST... AGAIN
If you missed the delicious group celebration, please visit these fine blogs which all sounded off on their favorite shots within the first animated feature to ever be nominated for Best Picture at the Oscars. The next episode of Hit Me With Your Best Shot will be on June 1st @ 9 PM EST when we celebrate the tenth anniversary of MOULIN ROUGE!

• Antagony & Ecstasy Belle and the Beast, who are rich opposites.
• The Red Headed Invasion The Beast, who is alarmingly expressive.
• Ahora 'The Provincial Life', which is most luscious.
• A Blog Next Door Belle, who wants. She wants more than she can tell.
• Film Actually Gaston, who is also a beast.
• Okinawa Assault Beauty & The Beast, which is suspiciously colourful.
• LS2GH Belle and the Beast, who see themselves as the other.
• Animation Revelation The Great Wide Somewhere, the forest to be more precise.
• Amiresque The Beast, who loves architecture. He loves it more than he can tell.
• Victim of the Time The crying or the dying, which are beautiful.
• Movies and Other Things Belle, who is no 'little wife'.
• Dial P For Popcorn Belle, who becomes an explorer.
• missemmamm Gaston, who uses antlers in all of his decorating.
• Against the Hype The Great Wide Somewhere, which has moved locales.
• Sorta That Guy Belle and the Beast, who could have danced all night.
• Cinephilia & Sass Belle and the Beast, who cozy up.
• The Entertainment Junkie The Beast, who is not as he once was.
• Serious Film The Beast, who is Prince Charming Character.
• Movies Kick Ass The crane shot, which is sweeping and magical.
• musicinephiles Belle, who moonlights as a nurse.
• Awards Nazi The Beast, who is too aggressive even in kindness

It's All About the Shoes...

On Easter The Boyfriend and I had brunch with two of our favorite people and their daughters. Like so many other little girls (and boys), they love Disney Princess movies so I had to ask the eldest, who is suddenly chatty, which was her favorite? The question rendered her completely shy, like nobody had ever asked her to embrace her inner film critic (though I find this hard to believe since her dad is a huge movie buff and awesome enough to school me on occassion). I had given up hope of an answer, reverting my attention to the food when she shouted "CINDERELLA" at the top of her lungs over her waffles. "But why" I say? This answer came much more swiftly, like it was the silliest question any adult had ever asked her.

The glass slippers.

She didn't add "duh" but it was right there, loud and clear, in her squeal of laughter.