Beauty vs Beast: The La-Di-Da Lady

JA from MNPP here, back from the holidays and welcoming everybody to the year 2015 with a brand new round of "Beauty vs Beast." This week we're tackling one of our most favorite actresses and her maybe probably most definitely most iconic role - yup it's Diane Keaton's 69th birthday today and so la-di-da la-la y'all...

poll by twiigs.com

So all of you left-wing Communist Jewish homosexual pornographers have got one week to make your voice heard - vote and then tell us in the comments which neurotic you wanna chase lobsters with. And happy birthday, Diane Keaton!

PREVIOUSLY I wasn't here last week and so Nathaniel took over and man, did he come up with a doozy - in The Battle of the Tildas, the winner was... Tilda! Snowpiercer Tilda, to be specific - the Minister Mason made like a good shoe and trounced over Wes Anderson's old-lady-drag competition. (For the record, Mason's my pick too.) Said commenter Marsha Mason:

"I think Tilda in Snowpiercer was the supporting performance of the year. Showy and even a little cartoonish maybe, but it meshed perfect with the art design and surreal feel and everything else about that movie. It was perfect for a fantasy world take on real sociological problems."

Beauty vs Beast: Tilda vs Tilda

Jason's on vacation but while he's away I thought we'd have a funhouse mirror episode of his Beauty vs. Beast series to celebrate another great year for Tilda Swinton and.... uh... Tilda Swinton. What an inimitable career she's had. So this week we're pitting two of the most memorable women of 2014 against each other, an ancient beauty who literally owns The Grand Budapest Hotel and a beastly politician who acts like she owns the Snowpiercer and all of its passenger citizens.

You have one week to vote. Make your case in the comments and may the best Tilda win!

poll by twiigs.com

Beauty vs Beast: Beard vs Bumble

JA from MNPP here, ho ho hosting this week's ho ho holiday edition of "Beauty vs Beast" for y'all (okay okay I got all my ho ho's out, I promise) -- a couple of weeks ago TFE's resident animation guru Tim gave good love to Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer on the occasion of its 50th anniversary and it struck me like a peppermint pick-axe to the brain, what this week's face-off needed to be. Who else but...

poll by twiigs.com

Yukon Cornelius, the standard of bearded beauty for an entire generation, grabs that frightful Beast by the belly and bounces away with our hearts every time, but we've got a special place for the Bumble's passionate bumbling too. So help us choose! You have one week to vote, and please do share your thoughts upon each in the comments.

PREVIOUSLY Spinning off from the frozen tundra of the North Pole to the magnolia swelter of the Deep South, last week we celebrated the 75th anniversary of Gone With the Wind by play-acting Scarlett and choosing our best beau - Ashley put up a decent fight for such a wilting flower but frankly, my dears, we want to be man-handled. Rhett swept 79% of us up in his arms and carried us into that fiery sunset. Said TB:

"Ashley is the biggest cad in the whole movie. He's got Olivia de Havilland at home, and he's stringing along Vivien Leigh the whole time. Nope. NOPE. Rhett's a slut, but at least he's got principles."

Beauty vs Beast: Miss Scarlett Decides

Fiddle-dee-dee y'all it's Jason from MNPP here with today's sweeping Southern epic edition of "Beauty vs Beast." Yes indeedy today is the 75th anniversary of the biggest movie that ever was and probably ever will be - David O. Selznick's Gone With the Wind (if any movie's ownership belongs to its producer, it's this one) premiered in Atlanta on this day in 1939. Three hundred thousand people lined the streets surrounding the Loews Grand Theater, the cap of three days worth of festivities which brought over a million people to the city. Most of the stars attended, save Leslie Howard who'd returned to England because of WWII, as well as Hattie McDaniel and the other black actors in the film who would've been segegrated from the rest of the cast thanks to Jim Crow. (A situation echoed several months later when McDaniel had to make her way from the back of the room to accept her Oscar.)

The film immediately smashed every record in sight - it sold just about half as many tickets as there were people in the United States, and adjusted for inflation its box office in today's dollars sits at something like three and a half billion dollars. It was a hit!

There were several character iterations I could've gone with for today's competition, but it seemed to me to face Viven Leigh's towering performance as Scarlett O'Hara off against anybody (Melanie, imagine!) would've flounced and trounced any ol' nobody in her way, so instead let's make like we're Scarlett herself and stricken with a crisis of suitors! A beau-tastrophe! Whomever shall we choose?

poll by twiigs.com

You've got seven days to vote, which should just give you about enough time to re-watch the first half of the movie up to the Intermission, so get to it.

PREVIOUSLY We took on 2014's blood-soaked war of the sexes with David Fincher's Gone Girl last week, pitting Ben Affleck's full-frontal assault as Nick in one corner opposite Rosamund Pike's icy cool girl Amazing Amy in the other - sure enough Amy kept her nickname tight in her calclating grasp, making off with over 70% of the vote. Said Mareko:

"Cool Girl is fun. Cool Girl is game. Cool Girl is hot. Cool Girl never gets angry at her man."

Beauty vs Beast: All The Cool Girls

Jason from MNPP here, saying tis the time for a round of "Beauty vs Beast" once more. This week we're finally tackling one of this year's biggest movies, David Fincher's Gone Girl - financially it's the biggest hit of its director's career, and critically, well a lot of people loved it and are hoping to see it figure prominently in the upcoming awards races. (I am not one of those people; I reviewed it at NYFF saying "a lot of what makes Amy into 'Amazing Amy,' what makes her particularly spectacular on the page, is the deeply darkly funny specificity of her voice, unpeeling like an onion, and that falls away from the movie just when I needed it most.") Anyway there's a good chance Rosamund Pike will be nominated for her performance as Amazing Amy, and it'll probably show up in some other categories as well. And if there's a bigger He Said She Said movie of 2014 I certainly missed it, so let's see who we side with!

poll by twiigs.com

I might have gone a little vague there in the Cons maybe...? The Pros were easy to be spoiler-free on, but listing these two's Cons without giving away too much of the game, that defeated me. If y'all have seen the movie you've certainly got your own laundry list of them, so tell us all about it in the comments.

PREVIOUSLY Last week we tackled the sisters of Blue Jasmine for Woody Allen's birthday, and even though Sally put up a helluva fight, as with the Oscars we couldn't help ourselves from lavishing our love on the showier gal. The Great Cate makes one more successful trek to the podium! Said Jakey:

"Jasmine, because when my life falls apart, I also wonder why I can't just get a Stoli with lemon."