Beauty vs. Beast: Evil Julianne & Evil Eddie

Jason is out of town so it falls on me to complete his Beauty vs. Beast duties this week. I cycled through so many possibilities before I succumbed to this fact: I spend at least 15 minutes of every day lately fantasizing that off camera  Julianne Moore and Eddie Redmaybe are reenacting mother/son Savage Grace sequences at all of their awards season campaign stops. In addition to being the frontrunners for Best Actress and Best Actor they also are the primary villains of two of this weekend's big poorly reviewed would be blockbusters that busted no blocks. So a twofer today, Savage Grace's psychotic beauty and murderous beast and Jupiter Ascending and The Seventh Son's Beauties who are also both Beasts.

Two Gingers, Twice. You've Got Two Votes. Go! 

poll by twiigs.com

poll by twiigs.com

You have one week to vote starting now!

LAST WEEK
Last time we looked to Groundhog Day and discovered we had more wintriness to endure. The battle of Phil Connor vs. Punxsutawney Phi is apparently doomed to repeat itself forever; you couldn't decide resulting in the second 50/50 split in this series history (the first and only other time was the Black Swan episode) 

Brookesboy summed up your wishywashiness this cycle

I started voting for little Phil because he's got better hair. But it was only a shadow of a doubt. Gotta go with Bill.

Beauty vs Beast: Winter Is (Still) Coming

Jason from MNPP here with another round of "Beauty vs Beast" -- this week we're headed to Gobbler's Knob (I still can't believe that's a real name of a real place) in the little town called Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, about an hour and a half outside of Pittsburgh, where the fate of our Winter lay in the balance. Well laid in the balance, that is - it's already been reported this morning that the world's furriest prognisicator this side of Sam Champion, the eternal Punxsutawney Phil, has seen his shadow and laid six more weeks of Winter upon us. Boo, Phil. Seeing as how I awoke to several fresh inches of slush this morning, I'm not terribly surprised by the forecast, but still. Boo, Phil.

Which brings me to what is maybe the greatest comedy ever made about the maybe dumbest holiday on the calendar: Harold Ramis' also-eternal 1993 Bill Murray comedy Groundhog Day, and this week's Battle of the Phils!

poll by twiigs.com

You've got one week - or one-sixth of the Winter that oh-so-wise woodchuck just dropped on us - to vote, so don't forget your booties it's cold outside and get to work.

PREVIOUSLY Two weeks back in the comments of the Blue Velvet contest TFE-reader Murtada pointed out that no actor had ever beaten an actress in any of these polls; well it's finally happened! It was close, but Paul Newman's Hud managed to shimmy his slim-hips to a six-percent win over Patricia Neal's Alma. Yeah he was a bastard, but... well, he was Paul Newman as a bastard, so it goes. Said San FranCinema:

"Newman, a great beauty no one took seriously until he surprised them all by becoming a great actor, always gets my vote."

Beauty vs Beast: Legend In Blue Jeans

Jason from MNPP here, eyeing the white-out weather outside the window of my office as I write this to you from New York City - everybody stay safe on the East Coast over the next couple of days! It's apparantly gonna be a biggun, this storm. I know, here, I'll give you something to keep you warm - Paul Newman!

It's the 90th anniversary of Paul Newman's birth today. A few years back I'd have wagered he'd still be around to celebrate this one with us - he retained his youthful glimmer right up til the end - but it wasn't to be. His death was one that hit me hard -- he was "The Legend" of my youth, still going strong, still beautiful and affecting. But hey his lifetime love the great Joanne Woodward is still around, so let's all send our happy movie memory vibes her way. And so today's "Beauty vs Beast" is for Paul, and my favorite performance of his...

poll by twiigs.com

Paul Newman is totally a beast in this movie - drunken, boorish, and an attempted rapist to boot - but all that said it's still a major struggle slapping him with anything but "Beauty. Beauty. BEAUTY." Ya know? Ya know. (See the episode of TFE's "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" series devoted to this movie right here.)

PREVIOUSLY Last week we got lost in the picket-fence nightmare of David Lynch's Blue Velvet, pitting Dennis Hopper's PBR lover against Isabella Rossellini's dewy-lipped songstress - well turns out y'all love the sultry way Dorothy suffers, as she sauntered away with 70% of the vote. Said Mike in Canada:

"Team Dorothy all the way. I'm always looking for her in my closet."

Beauty vs Beast: Blue Beauty On Velvet Beast

Jason from MNPP here wishing everyone a blue blue Blue Monday. When I tell you that it feels as if I've been having an awfully Lynchian series of months, I'm sure your first reaction is to 1) shudder and 2) to call the police on my behalf. But this is not a cry for help, don't worry - I haven't turned into a door-knob or anything.  It's just been a random confluence of events - I saw David Lynch speak at BAM a few months ago; then I read Lynch on Lynch (a terrific book of interviews with the director); then there was the news about the Twin Peaks revival; then I met Laura Dern at a party and told her she needs to get herself into the Twin Peaks revivial; then I went to Philadelphia and saw an exhibit of his paintings. It's been Lynch up the wazoo, basically.

And since tomorrow is Mr. Lynch's 69th birthday it seems a heck of a good time to give him the "Beauty vs Beast" treatment. I mean, what other director works in such extremes of dreamy beauties and nightmare beasts after all? Laura Palmer and the BOB at the end of her bed, for instance. And when the beauty & beast meet, watch out - you could argue that Laura Dern's become the perfect muse for him since she can so effortlessly stretch her sunny beauty out out out way too far for comfort. Those examples aside, it was pretty clear where we needed to mine this week's competition from...

poll by twiigs.com

Treat yourself to some cherry pie, climb inside a stranger's closet, do whatever it takes, and then hit the comments to tell us whose disease you want put inside of you in the next seven days, and why and how. And here's to your...

Beauty vs Beast: Bombing The Globes

JA from MNPP here again, keeping the Golden Globes afterglow going with this week's double-edition of our weekly "Beauty vs Beast" poll. Looking for a communal villain at an awards show can be rough - one person's beastly Matthew McConaughey or nightmarish Alejandro González Iñárritu will be inexplicably loved by others (quite deranged folks, I'm convinced). But then there are the "Ooof" moments, when something lands with a quite resounding thud, and those are the times that well, those are what we'll most likely remember one two and ten years from now. Here are two of last night's "Ooof" moments. Which side do you fall down on?

I have my own opinions (read this tweet) as to what's going on with Jeremy Renner, who was all kinds of messy from the moment he hit the stage, but anybody who can make a long avowed J-Loather like me feel a pang of sympathy for her is sure accomplishing... something. On the other hand... the globes, they were definitely golden? As a statement of fact it's not false, exactly. Okay I'm stretching.

poll by twiigs.com

Next up...

That picture will never not crack me up. Personally I was down with Margaret Cho's North Korean schtick; what pushed it over the edge for me was the banality of her offered opinions, like the category mis-placement of Orange is the New Black. But I gather not everyone took to it so kindly! Meryl Streep, for instance, seemed genuinely mortified being roped into the routine. That said I don't know if you've heard this but Meryl Streep is considered a fine actress -- her horror might've been a ruse. A terribly terribly convincing ruse. (Maybe she'll win an Emmy for the performance next year?)

poll by twiigs.com

You've got one week to make your opinions heard; hit the comments and draw your battle lines. And yes, one week from now we'll know the Oscar nominations and the Golden Globes will be but a foggy hangover feeling; tis the nature of the awards beast.

PREVIOUSLY Last week's poll tackled Annie Hall in honor of Diane Keaton's birthday, and she easily la-di-da'd her way to a triumph, taking over 80% of the vote! Poor Alvy, this is gonna keep him in therapy for... yeah he's never getting out of therapy. Said brookesboy:

"I think some people think Keaton is getting by on charm in this role, but it's so much more than that. The seeming effortlessness in this performance is what makes it so special and enduring."