Review: "Dark Shadows"

This article was originally published at Towleroad in my weekly column

Chloë Grace Moretz is judging you!

With the world too busy seeing The Avengers (reviewed) for a second time last weekend, Dark Shadows premiered to considerably less fanfare and bank than Tim Burton and Johnny Depp collaborations are generally greeted with. So who will even notice that we're one week late to the ball? Young Carolyn Stoddard (Chloë Grace Moretz) will -- she's so smugly superior -- but she prefers the word "happening". She's quick to school her out-of-time vampire uncle Barnabas Collins (Johnny Depp) that no one throws "balls" anymore.  

Actually, Carolyn, Tim Burton does...

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Divalinkious

Clothes on Film on every costume worn by Doris Day in Pillow Talk. Love it.
Felix in Hollywood Louise Brooks is looking at you.
Film Doctor on Dark Shadows. (Eek. I pforgot the promised pfeiffer pfriday posting). He says my pfavorite thing anybody has said about Michelle Pfeiffer recently:

America does not appreciate her enough... she deserves to be treated at least as well as France treats Catherine Deneuve

I've always felt the Deneuve/Pfeiffer comparison was apt. But the auteurs aren't biting or Pfeiffer isn't baiting. Deneuve, on the other hand who is 15 years her senior, is still making vital films for important directors. 

A New York Night *CONTEST* Sarah Jessica Parker is inviting you to her place if you win the contest to attend her Obama fundraiser. Yes, I entered. We need a sensible President and, more importantly, I need to be inside SJP's home!
Towleroad the Magic Mike pr blitz has begun. 
Time countsdown the 10 greatest movies made since the year 2000. Kind of an odd list -- very Oscar bestpicturey -- but lists are like pizza. Usually worth devouring even when far from satisfying. I'm in love with number•1

ways in which the upcoming Tonys are just like the Oscars
Gold Derby on the "precursors" the Drama Leagues. It may lock up the expected Tony wins.
Everything I Know... hates Ghost the Musical -- based on the hit movie Ghost (1990)-- and would like to remind Tony voters about about one of our Oscary pet peeves:

 I would like to remind the Tony voters that "best" design doesn't necessarily mean "most expensive" or "most complicated." Ideally, it would mean "design that works with the dramatic intent of the piece, enhancing the inherent effectiveness of the work, rather than hiding the fact that there essentially is no effectiveness." 

Amen. I haven't seen this musical but this is a standard awards group problem.

Oh what the hell. 2 more links to go.
My New Plaid Pants [nsfw] is always reminding me of hot things I've forgotten, like Game of Thrones' Nikolaj Coster Waldau doing Clive Owen in Bent (1997)
Rope of Silicon Ewww. what the hell with Matthew Fox's new body for Alex Cross. He plays a serial killer. (If you believe the movies, serial killer is practically as common a profession as waitressing!)

Pfeiffer Pfriday

I recently got a Pfacebook message from one of her biggest pfans  and he asked me if I'd misplaced my love for the one and only Michelle Pfeiffer. "Of course not!" I wanted to shout only to immediately realize that though she's been far less elusive than usual: magazines, press conferences for Dark Shadows, fresh on DVD with New Year's Eve, at premieres -- I've said pfew words. This must be corrected.

This is my favorite 2012 pfoto of her, taken last month at Cinema Con where she was honored as a "Cinema Icon".

Catwoman black / Susie Diamond sexy.

Since I abandoned my Thursday "Burtonjuice" series which y'all didn't seem to be into, I'll redirect my eyeballs and pfantasize about Pfeiffer each Pfriday till People Like Us premieres... even if it's only a pfoto. Deal?

With Pfeiffer back on the red carpet I was expecting a parade of sleek black but she's been mixing it up: Red and gold to Dark Shadows premieres; black at Cinema Con; gray at the Globes in January (couldn't find a full length pfoto since she didn't do the press lines); purple at New Year's Eve in December.

poll by twiigs.com

Red and black are her standbys (it's easy to see why) but it's nice to see variety. Lock-wise Pfeiffer has never much believed in variety, preferring long curly toussled for most of her career give or take stick straight detours here and there.

With Dark Shadows opening today (more on that later) here's a pflashback to the Batman Returns premiere 20 years ago...

Penguin. Batman. Catwoman. Burton

Yes, No, Maybe So: "People Like Us"

It's time to buy your tickets -- or not -- for a new movie based entirely on its trailer. This one is called People Like Us and stars Chris Pine and Elizabeth Banks (who introduces the trailer... I find it so weird when they do that). The film also stars La Pfeiffer but they weirdly pretend like it doesn't until halfway through. Which also happened with Dark Shadows. Marketing departments clearly think she has no bankability anymore which is depressing. She has a robust online fan community still -- far more than some other 80s superstars -- so it stands to reason that they go see movies if she's in them. Unfortunately there are few case studies to be had. And maybe Hollywood is basing everything on Chéri bombing a few years back?

Let's break it down after the jump.

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Beauty Break: New Pfeiffer Photoshoot!

Thanks to TFE reader and fellow Pfan Michael for alerting me to this new Michelle Pfeiffer spread in California Style* The Golden State's Lifestyle Magazine. I couldn't find the article on line but here are the beautiful pfotos. More for the altar** !!!

Diva.

* Someone please send me this actual magazine. I deserve it!

** You won't believe me but I don't actually have an altar. The worship is within.