Thoughts I had while staring at the "Magic Mike" poster

• I see no magic being performed unless Alex Pettyfer is about to pull something out of that hat.

• If this movie had been made in the 1980s or by Nicolas Winding Refn the blue letters would've been in pink neon.

• I keep wanting to spell something out. If you squint, Matthew, Matt & Joe, and Alex are spelling out Y.M.A but Channing is letterless. Maybe if you flipped Channing horizontally he'd be an "R". What does it all mean? R. Y. M. A.?

• "work all day. work it all night" is kind of an awesome tagline. It's self aware. Movie, know thyself!

• If this movie shows less Joseph Mangianello skin than any random episode of True Blood, Steven Soderbergh has failed us all.

• That camouflage will only hide Matt Bomer if he's surrounded by thousands of male strippers in a muddy forest. Hmmmm. 

• Why isn't this opening for my birthday (June 6th) instead of June 29th?

The five most important things about this poster after the jump...

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"Hello Gorgeous" How Many Streisands Have You Seen?

Today is the 70th birthday of the legendary Barbra Streisand who we always call Babs. We were chastized in the comments for not celebrating and we get it. There's only one of her, a national treasure. In fact, just a few weeks ago I watched Funny Girl (for the 6th or 7th time) and Funny Lady (for the 2nd time) almost back to back and that double feature is astounding. The first would have to be in the top ten Pure Star Vehicles ever made (♥) and the second one is just... just no, Barbra!

Like Jane Fonda, another screen icon from the 1970s who is on our way back to us, we're über pleased that she's suddenly decided she's an actress again even if we haven't seen the results yet. Barbra's big picture this year is Guilt Trip (co-starring Seth Rogen. November Release) which happens to be her first leading role since the stoney end stone age. Advanced word is positive but you never know who is doing the talking when it comes to advanced word so we're anxious. Comedy was always her forte  and there's no reason that La Streep should be the only elderly giant who younger audiences completely "get" as a Funny Girl.

So for today's big day, let's republish an old article called "Posterized Babs". 

Funny Girl (1968. Best Actress Winner Oscars & Globes) | Hello Dolly (1969. Best Actress Musical Comedy Golden Globe Nomination) | On a Clear Day You Can See Forever (1970))

15 more films and brief commentary after the jump

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Django Unchained, Poster Teased.

It's a pity that there are 257 days left until Christmas. Am I right?

Isn't it wonderful when a movie can be sold on the name of their auteur alone? 

Wouldn't it be wonderful if final movie posters were ever as graphically bold as teaser posters?

Burning Questions: Lifetime Passes

Michael C. here. This week’s Burning Question came to me when my heart sank upon seeing the poster for Woody Allen’s latest.

Maybe it's the inexplicably prominent placement of Roberto Benigni. Maybe it's because the Committee to Blandify Movie Titles reduced the movie's name from the interesting The Bop Decameron to the acceptable Nero Fiddled to the yawn-inducing To Rome With Love. Or maybe it was just the beige Nancy Meyers-ness of the whole thing. Whatever the reason, my gut tells me this is a return to the lifeless, script-out-of-the-bottom-drawer rehashes that have been the rule and not the exception for Woody’s output over the last decade. 

Of course this would all be a lot less distressing if I didn’t know there was no way I would miss seeing it. Why? Because I, like many others, have issued Mr. Allen a lifetime pass out of gratitude for Annie Hall and Manhattan and a dozen other titles that constitute a large chunk of the foundation of my love of movies. Therefore I will keep setting myself up for disappointment, like Charlie Brown forever returning to kick that football.

Annie Hall by Al Hirschfeld

Would it not make more sense to ignore the completist in me that insists I see every title Woody releases even when it's an obvious gutterball? Does anyone really deserve a lifetime pass?

First off, lets be clear what constitutes a lifetime pass...

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I Want To Make Love To The Moonrise Kingdom Poster

JA from MNPP here. Is that weird? I want to lay down beside a roaring fire, a bottle of wine, some Barry White on the record player, and be gentle yet firm, slow but steady, with the poster for Wes Anderson's new movie Moonrise Kingdom. (via) It's okay if you tell me I am being weird. I have been told I'm weird before and I'll be told I'm weird again, especially if I'm the sort of guy that's driven mad with lust by a rectangle. But the curly yellow font! The names that the curly yellow font spells! (Bill! Tilda! Frances!) The toadstools and the owl! The brook bubbling sensually in the distance! It's too much, too much, I must have my way with it immediately.