"Bionic"

This brand new short film, from photographer/filmmaker Greg Williams (who won prizes a year ago for that Sergeant Slaughter short with Tom Hardy just discussed), gives newish meaning to the term Bionic Woman. The header says that a sex doll (played by French celebrity Zahia) exercizes her own free will... but it looks just like malfunctioning to me.

Bionic from Greg Williams on Vimeo.

 That shot of her with the banana is just painful (but funny), you know? Is it wrong to interpret her vacant eroticism as satirical commentary on Britney Spears's airheaded marionette carnality?

Android lovers are such a mainstay of science fiction, aren't they? Our two favorites have always been Blade Runner's Pris and A.I.'s Gigolo Joe. But maybe that's because they're two of the only ones in sci-fi movies. (Are they ever going to make a movie of Saturn's Children ... we're guessing no. Too weird and potentially NC-17)  We'll have cars that fly and maybe even teleportation devices before sexbots are a reality; sex is too complicated for scientists!

Speaking of Gigolo Joe... Williams shot Jude Law just last year for Madame Figaro.

We're always hoping that Jude Law has another Talented Mr Ripley in him. If so, when is it coming our way?

Armie Hammer Can Fire A Machine Gun (And Other Linkables)

FilmDetail GASP. Terrence Malick actually photographed in Cannes this weekend. Or is it a cardboard cutout?
Vulture picks the best (and worst) performances from Glee Season Two now that it's wrapped. Sound choices throughout actually.
Austin Translation the latest Pixar short La Luna wraps production.

Dan Hipp 'I am Tetsuo!' (an Akira moment)
FourFour on Kate Bush's "Director's Cut"
Gold Derby Jane Lynch (Glee) may host the Emmys
IonCinema proves that it's not just Oscars that cajole people into ridiculous predictions: herewith predictions for Cannes May 2012 edition.
Pajiba imagines worst-cast baby names from the current crop of starry couplings.
Kenneth in the (212) Justin Bartha on Matthew McConaughey's McConaunuts. What the...

Oh and mark your calendars for March 8th, 2013 if you're so inclined. That's when they'll be releasing Sam Raimi's Oz: The Great and Powerful, one of many Wizard of Oz themed projects that is stupidly not the mega-popular half a billion plus grossing Wicked. Alas.

Finally...
did Armie Hammer really need to compare kissing Leonardo DiCaprio to operating a machine gun in that you just have to pretend to know what you're doing even though you don't?

Excuse me Armie but you know what you're doing! Unless you're marriage is really unconventional. I'm constantly bemused by this topic. Hello world? Listen up. As someone who has kissed both men (duh) and women (what? I experimented in college) I'll break it down for you: both men and women are human [GASP]. Each human being has lips and a tongue whether or not they have a penis or a vagina. I know that's hard to wrap your head around, world, but it's TOTALLY TRUE. Have you ever met someone without lips or a tongue? Kissing is kissing and the  major variable, gender-wise, is facial hair. Otherwise the differences are pretty much person to person. It feels best when you're hot for each other. It feels dumbest when you're not which any professional actor is more than well acquainted with as kissing is a basic job requirement; more basic than firing automated weaponry! The end.

She's Still in Love With Judas, Baby

Another couple of months, another Lady Gaga short film. Thankfully she's calmed down a smidge since the epic EPICNESS of "Born This Way" which was messy MESSYNESS.

Sometimes it's good to have a simple concept and just execute it well.

In this case its Christ & Disciples as biker gang with Gaga as the Holy Fool / Biker Chick who can't choose between her two (archetypal) men, saintly Jesus or bad boy Judas (Norman Reedus!) who is so rebellious he demands that his name be pronounced with extra syllables. Speaking of. Love the tongue-tripped lyric bridge.

In the most Biblical sense,
I am beyond repentance
Fame hooker, prostitute wench.

Video: B+ That Bit w/ the Lipstick: A+ The Break: D+ (video breaks are tired. just dance!) Song: B

P.S. TANGENT TIME:  I'm totes enjoying Gaga's reign these past couple of years but, gotta say it, really missing Madonna today. Like as in more than usual.

Maybe it's because Madge looked flawless at the Met Costume Gala. Maybe it's because this is Gaga's "Like a Prayer" no? I'm not saying that in a negative 'ripping off Madonna' way people like to assume. I'm saying that as in this is the moment where the stars feel indestructable and poke at the religious people's eternally thin skin and risk their noisy wrath while making some sort of dance-ready point about the eternal internal spiritual war that's a universal part of being human". That moment.  "Like a Prayer" is Madonna's very best song (A+) in a discography with astounding number of viable options for that title. So that's probably how the pangs of missing are so acute. Excited for her directorial effort W.E. -- when will we see it? -- but could use more music real soon. It's been so long since "Hard Candy". Just one more record as fab as "Confessions on a Dance Floor", please!? Pleaseandthanks.

P.P.S. We now return you to your normally scheduled film programming.

Bear Force One: The Movie

I kicked off our reader appreciation series last month with an interview with Alex, aka BBats. Wanted to let you know that he's currently co-starring in the comedy short Bear Force One in which the President of the USA declares wars on Bears*. It won the Best of the Fest at LA Comedy Shorts Festival earlier this month.

You'll have to be in the right mood for this (think South Park's love of grotesque animated yuks and you're in the general comedic vicinity) but bless BBats for being so shameless.** If you watch you'll know what I mean when you hit the interrogration scene wherein he lets his freak fur literally fly.

Love the end credits song. I was wondering when that joke was coming.

*The blog is being overrun by animals lately: elephants, monkeys, bears. I have no idea what's going on.

**This is the first (but not the only) reason I knew I could never be an actor from the word go. I am so easily embarassed.

Hugo Nominees Or: How To Stop Worrying and Love The Geek

The quickest thing you learn once you become obsessed with awards is that they never end; someone is always handing out prizes for something. And since the eligibility periods are different for everything it takes forever for a single year's entertainment to finally be "old" aka ineligible. Such is the case with 2010 entertainment (mostly the second half of it) which is still eligible for Emmy nods (July 14th), Tony nods (May 3rd)... and The Hugo Awards, which are science fiction based, and newly announced today.

BEST DRAMATIC PRESENTATION – LONG
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1
How to Train Your Dragon
Inception
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
Toy Story 3

Inception and Toy Story 3 can breathe a sigh of relief that The King's Speech featured neither threatening alien invaders (Wallis Simpson does not count) nor superpowered heroes (Helena Bonham Carter does not count, her super powers being off screen).

BEST DRAMATIC PRESENTATION – SHORT
Doctor Who: ‘‘A Christmas Carol''
Doctor Who: ‘‘The Pandorica Opens/The Big Bang''
Doctor Who: ‘‘Vincent and the Doctor''
Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury
The Lost Thing

I've embedded this "Ray Bradbury" vid once before on the old blog but it made me LOL so here it is again. With Doctor Who cancelling itself out (one assumes) Will The Lost Thing, the animated short, repeat its Oscar win at the Hugos?

Shaun Tan, the Australian illustrator behind that short, is also up for Best Artist, a category which includes Dan Dos Santos, Bob Eggleston, John Picacao and Stephan Martiniere.

Since there are definitely not enough awards for online entertainment (The Film Experience certainly hasn't won any trophies, y'know *sniffle*), here are some webzines to check out if you're into sci-fi. They're all nominated: (Semi-Pro) Clarkesworld, Interzone, Lightspeed, Locus, Weird Tales, (Fan) Banana Wings, The Challenger, The Drink Tank, File 770, StarShipSofa

Here's a complete list of the nominees should you enjoy sci-fi.