The Lone Ranger Spawns Multiple Sore Losers

Can we take a moment to shake our heads collectively at Johnny Depp, Armie Hammer and The Lone Ranger team for being sore losers? They're blaming critics and the media for the failure of the film at the box office -- as if opening weekends are determined by critics. LOL. Weirdly Armie Hammer tries to rope in World War Z to the conversation (which has a 67% critical approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes versus their 28% and a much higher audience approval rating, too) 

They tried to do the same thing with ‘World War Z’,” Hammer said of the critical backlash.”It didn’t work, the movie was successful. Instead they decided to slit the jugular of our movie.”

Because this is what critics do. They think "damn, people loved that movie I trashed? I shall have my revenge next time!" and then their tiny selves morph hive-like into Mega-Critic, a ugly monstrously powerful giant beast, big enough to do battle with the beautiful innocence of the Blameless Blockbuster. 

I always feel embarrassment, not schadenfreude, for stars and filmmakers when they blame everyone but themselves. It shows a complete aversion to looking inward and betrays a pampered creative life that actively works against continued evolution as an artist. When people only believe/accept adulation, they calcify. It's why so many artists become self parodies or get less interesting as they progress. I really don't think it's an age thing, though you often hear that people do their best work early in their careers. I think, rather, that it's an insular gated community problem, a result of entourages of "yes men" and belief in your own hype.

previously
Why did the Lone Ranger flop?
The Lone Ranger reviewed 

Curio: The Great Escape at 50

Alexa here. 50 years ago this week The Great Escape, John Sturges' rousing piece of Americana, came into theaters. With it, Steve McQueen transformed into rebel icon, a Tao of freedom for the masses (and especially overweight teachers). Just the other day I found myself whistling Elmer Bernstein's theme as I watched my newborn escape her play yard (although I almost slipped into a rendition of River Kwai whistling instead, blasphemy!). Here are a few artifacts to celebrate the film's golden anniversary. 

Click to read more ...

The Podcast Returns: The Xanax Kicked In For "Blue Jasmine"

As we reach the final lap of summer, it's time to bring the podcast back for another Oscar season! Joining Nathaniel are Nick Davis, Katey Rich and Joe Reid.

This week we're talking about Nick's DVD Collection, Brooklyn Park Slope, New York Park Avenue, and Chicago moviegoing, whether or not Cate Blanchett is the frontrunner for Best Actress and what we think of the casting director's Oscar branch and the American Hustle trailer. But the bulk of the podcast is devoted to a Blue Jasmine breakdown. No not that kind of breakdown. Cate already covered the going mental part.

UPDATE: For those who are spoiler averse you might want to skip these parts:

11:40 - 12:16 
14:07 - 14:54
18:20 - 19:37

Thanks Alice for pointing these reveals out.

You can listen to the podcast here at the bottom of the post or download it on iTunes.

Blue Jasmine Breakdown

Burning Questions: Movie Killing Scores?

Michael C. here to take a cue from the Summer movie season and release the first Burning Questions sequel. 

The story goes that at the eleventh hour the original score to Chinatown was deemed a film-ruining disaster and composer Jerry Goldsmith was brought in and given just ten days to write a replacement.  Miraculously, the score Goldsmith delivered turned out to be the quintessential film noir soundtrack. When the AFI listed the 100 greatest film scores Goldsmith’s trumpet-laced masterwork ranked #9. So a happy ending, which is one of the rare times when that phrase can be used in conjunction with Chinatown.

This is a terrific example of the filmmakers having the resources – and more importantly the will – to strive for perfection even if it meant taking a risk late in production. We’ve all heard enough terrible soundtracks to know tales such as this are bound to be the exception rather than the rule. Perhaps commissioning a new score would be too much of a hassle or too big an expense. Maybe the filmmakers in question are blind to the damage the music is doing to their movies. Then there are those unfortunate cases which are merely the victims of their times. Today’s trendy soundtrack is tomorrow’s time capsule punchline.

These musical misfires are the subject of today’s column. A few months back I posted a colum asking for the names of great soundtracks wasted on lousy movies. This time it’s the opposite question: Which scores are movie killers? I’m talking soundtracks that seriously distract and detract from otherwise quality movies. 

I’ll get the ball rolling with these three unfortunate cases that never fail to aggravate me:

Ladyhawke (Score by Andrew Powell)
I chose Ladyhawke as a particularly odious offender, but really, on the subject of disastrous scores, one could simply type “The 80’s” and move on. So many of that decade’s artificial, synth-heavy scores that have aged like rotten fruit, stinking up countless otherwise strong movies. (Manhunter, I’m looking in your direction) Ladyhawke’s music is so bad I wonder if the film would actually work better as a silent film. Or hit the subtitles and play a classical music channel on Pandora. Any random shuffle has got to be an improvement 

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles (Score by Ira Newborn)
This is also an eighties title, but I think it’s such a uniquely awful case of a score bringing an otherwise terrific comedy to a screeching halt that it deserved to be singled out. Exhibit A on why experimental scores and comedy rarely go together and why you should never, ever mix snippets of the film’s dialogue into the score.

Eyes Wide Shut (Score by Jocelyn Pook)
I have struggled with this title since it came out, but if there is one thing that will always stand between me and fully appreciating this fascinating waking nightmare of a movie it is that godforsaken plink-plink-plink piano score. I can imagine a psycho killer from Hannibal using this music to torture a victim tied up in their basement. Before you say it, yes, I freely admit that this may have been exactly what Kubrick was going for, but even if I believed this to be true (I don’t) it would make no difference. The music is viscerally alienating in a way that bypasses the intellect entirely, like jackhammers or squeaky balloons. Just thinking abou it sets me on edge.

Previous Burning Questions
You can follow Michael C. on Twitter at @SeriousFilm. Or read his blog Serious Film

Cinema Swimwear: Some Like It Hot

This summer The Film Experience is launching its own swimwear line!

◀ Back to Results | You are in: Swimwear

Click to magnify"The His Her and Her Jazz Age Romper"
★★★★★ - 23 Reviews 

Product Details
Whether you're hiding out from Chicago mobsters after accidentally witnessing a murder (and, really, who hasn't been there - am I right, ladies?!?) or you're just looking to snag that perfect bespectacled millionaire husband on his Florida vacation (Cary Grant impression, optional) these award-winning creations from designer Orry-Kelly are anything but the fuzzy end of the lollipop. No need to remind yourself, "I'm a girl. I'm a girl..." as you're bound to turn heads in this suit as you frolic in the water with your all-girl jazz band ensemble. 

Color
Available only in Black with White piping detailing along the neck, sleeve, and bottom. All the looks from this collection were originally supposed to be in color (as stipulated in Miss Monroe's contract) but, trust us when we say that Black and White is much more flattering on all types...

Sizes
The cut is becoming from famously curvaceous to mannishly big in the shoulders and arms. The peplum also hides any areas you wish to disguise from pregnancy to that little something extra between your legs.

Price
Now available for rental from our Florida hotels. Yes, nothing says 'good personal hygene' like a communal bathing suit.

Details & Care
Do beware of your charms as you may find yourself the recipient of a marriage proposal from wealthy older gentlemen. Oh, sure, that may sound perfect - especially when it comes with a diamond bracelet - but you'll have to reveal some very personal details before the honeymoon. 

Regardless of your choice of swimwear, the most important thing to remember is that every girl is beautiful in her own unique way. Regardless if you are a Marilyn:

Or a...eh...Daphne:

Well, nobody's perfect...

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