Ranking the Golden Globe presenters
Monday, January 9, 2017 at 9:50PM We're revisiting the highs and the lows of the Globes. Here's Jorge...
Because next to the winners, random celebrity pairings are the best part of the ceremony, let's rank them.
33. Casey Affleck: I will say it now. I do not support Casey Affleck nor his campaign. His performance is one thing, but he is presenting his (problematic) self at the award circuit. I did not like watching him introduce Manchester by the Sea (let alone winning). Knowing he has had many trips on stage this season, they could have had Michelle or Lucas Hedges go up to make it more interesting.
32. Sofia Vergara: How much longer can the highest paid actress in television keep basing her brand on the notion that she can’t speak English? The joke is getting old and, frankly, denigrating for her.
31. Vince Vaughn: He looked like he did not want to be there, at this moment or any other point during the ceremony...
30. Sylvester Stallone and Carl Weathers: it was a classic case of Hollywood celebrating its own legacy, but something didn’t sit well. Maybe it was that when Stallone gave Weathers the name of the winner to read, and it was Moonlight, it read as low-key racist?
29. Michael Keaton: I honestly forgot he was a presenter until I looked at the list. (He has since apologized for the "Hidden Fences" flub.)
28. Sienna Miller, Zoe Saldana, and Ben Affleck: “Oh, what a quirky unusual combination!” ...and then you realized that they all start in Live by Night. Affleck looked like he’d rather be literally anywhere else.
27. Brad Pitt: I get it; he's a huge star and he executive produced the film. But did he really deserve a standing ovation, as if emerging victorious from his very public separation? And why have him present Moonlight, when Mahershala, Naomi, and Janelle were all right there in attendance?
26. Kristen Bell and Cuba Gooding Jr.: Charming combo, I guess? Kristen looked stunning in that dress.
25. Anna Kendrick and Justin Theroux: Hot people looking hot.
24. Chris Pine: He looked ruggedly handsome, in accordance to the movie he was introducing. But, in my eyes, he’s very cardboard cutout. Not that I’d mind having one of him.
23. Hugh Grant: Nice to have him back, isn’t it?
22. Sting and Carrie Underwood: What was either of them doing there? Did they have something to plug? It was an unexpected combination, and though those are welcome, but this pairing was more confusing than amusing.
21. Priyanka Chopra and Jeffrey Dean Morgan: Hey, I’ll take any chance I can get to see Priyanka in a gown. She's become an award show presenter darling, even though her TV show is neither an giant hit nor a critical darling.
20. Matt Damon: his “The Martian as Comedy” bit was dated, but at least he tried and acknowledged how ridiculous awards shows can get. He needed a good shave, though.
19. Jake Gyllenhaal: Perfectly charming though the trend of having actors introduce movies that they are not part of only because they'll soon co-star in a vehicle with the movie's lead (Jake and Deadpool’s Ryan Reynolds have “Life” coming) is not the finest trend.
18. John Legend: his appearance here to introduce La La Land felt perfectly appropriate. If only he would have brought wife and award-show superstar Chrissy Teigen along on stage.
17. Emma Stone and Ryan Reynolds: Hot people looking hot part 2.
16. Mandy Moore and Milo Ventimiglia: Very hot people looking very hot part 3.
15. Pierce Brosnan: Embrace the randomness, HPFA! Why was Pierce Brosnan introducing little gem Sing Street. Why not?
14. Jessica Chastain and Eddie Redmayne: Extra points for enduring Jimmy Fallon’s horrendous introduction. You do not do that to the Chastain. Graceful to the end.
13. Amy Schumer and Goldie Hawn: their “confused mother and annoyed daughter” bit played a bit on the 'too close for comfort' side, but they did a hell of a job plugging their new movie without actually talking about it. (But all I could think about was how Carrie and Debbie would have absolutely killed that.)
12. Leonardo DiCaprio: he got to give an award to Isabelle Huppert. That’s enough on my list to be high-ranked.
11. Drew Barrymore and Timothy Olyphant: Looking forward to their new zombie/ cannibalism show and Drew’s outfit was giving “Amy Adams in Nocturnal Animals” vibe.
10. Laura Dern and Jon Hamm: I’m a big fan of “Jon Hamm: comedic actor,” even when he is below subpar. But I will take any Laura Dern that is provided. They made for a very handsome couple.
09. Chris Hemsworth and Gal Gadot: the Globes do thematic pairings well. They are both superheroes. They are both gorgeous. Now look at them and fawn over how their characters will never be able to meet!
08. Annette Bening: No explanation required.
07. Brie Larson: paraphrasing a tweet I saw last night, the woman who in February hugged ever single assault survivor after Lady Gaga’s Oscar performance, had to give an award to Casey Affleck. She knew that and she was in pain.
06. Reese Witherspoon and Nicole Kidman: two great actresses in their best odd coupling. The height difference. The metallic makeup. Reese’s southern charm against Nicole’s Australian iciness. Can Big Little Lies just air right now?
05. Dev Patel and Sunny Pawar: yes, I bit the bait. Seeing Sunny (who gives a powerhouse performance in Lion) being carried by Patel and say the title of their movie melted my heart. Also, Dev can get it.
04. Naomi Campbell and Matt Bomer: this was not just hot people looking hot. It was next level. They looked other-worldly, almost futuristic/robotic in their glistening, clean-cut, perfectly angled beauty. We were being welcomed by the Westworld hosts of our collective fantasies.
03. Felicity Jones and Diego Luna: the other side of the Sofia Vergara coin. Diego Luna (one half of the world’s greatest bromance) had zero f*cks and decided to start speaking Spanish. God bless his Latin-ness, and his accent. Was it a statement? Maybe or maybe not. But it was endearing as hell.
02. Kristen Wiig and Steve Carrell: in three seconds on stage, with no words, they did what Jimmy Fallon could not accomplish in three hours. They are surely two of the best improvisers in the world, and putting them together was comedy gold. A predictable statement, but they should host next year.
01. Viola Davis: Meryl Streep’s incredibly important speech has reverberated across the web, but let’s not forget it was preceded by an eloquent, funny, and passionate introduction by Viola Davis. Paying back the favor after Meryl introduced her before her Walk of Fame star, Viola shared how she was inspired by her, what their first encounter was like, and even cooking stories. A queen saluting another queen. And, as such, it was royally perfect.
Globe Goofing Four Questions | Best Dressed Men | Best Gowns
Who Got the Biggest Oscar Boost?
Jimmy Fallon La La Land Opening | Golden tweeting | Parties and Looks
Emma vs. Isabelle | Ryan & Andrew Kiss-Kiss | "Pink with stars on it"
Actors Watching Streep | Meryl & Viola Chit-Chat | Globe Winner List
Reader Comments (24)
Re: #27. The executive producer of Moonlight looked incredibly hot, there is no denying it.
Having actors introduce their own films was super awkward. Not a good idea.
I loved Viola's speech more than anything - her bit about Meryl showing her that her age and body was enough - was spellbinding and brought tears to my eyes.
Why haven't Awards shows asked Wiig to host? She's been amazing for years - right down to the SCORSESE drinking game at the Oscars a few years back - she must be saying no is the only reason I can think why she hasn't hosted yet.
Jorge: As someone who, due to the specific circumstances of WHEN the accusations happened (again, those accusations happening in the middle of making something like I'm Still Here IS a muddling factor until any OTHER allegations (either before production or after) spring to light), thinks Casey Affleck should be heavily fined but not jailed? In spite of thinking that, in GENERAL, that sexual harassment and rape is handled painfully BADLY by the law? I probably can't hate his campaign as much as others do and don't think he's AS problematic as he could have been. Again, I kind of went "Wait, when did this sexual harassment stuff happen...? Oh...um, I think arrest should wait until he does it while NOT producing such a movie or allegations come out he did it before that movie AS WELL. For now, a $1 million fine would be a better message."
Jorge, fun article! That's a lot to keep track of and comment on! But Viola needs to stop auditioning every time she gets up to a mic. And she can't land a joke! I just want that great actress to relax...I think she's in danger of becoming a parody of herself.
It's Kristen Wiig and Steve Carrell at no. 1, and it's not even remotely close.
Dang Mandy Moore. i'm kind of at a loss for words now...
Your top 5 is preachy unimpeachable. Great list.
Also Diego Luna can speak Spanish at me forever. Para siempre.
"Maybe it was that when Stallone gave Weathers the name of the winner to read, and it was Moonlight, it read as low-key racist?"
Glad i'm not the only one who thought that. Probably not intentional but yikes.
The grey in Chris Pine's beard is my happy place.
@Volvagia I think if you can't make a movie, any kind of movie, without sexually harassing women then you need to find another job. One where you don't come into contact with women.
I'm a bit lost...what's the problem with Casey Affleck?
I pretty much agree with all of your rankings, Viola Davis was much the best. Introducing Streep is a high pressure position & she did it in a deeply personal and memorable way.
I rank The Benning a little higher.
Reese Witherspoon & Nicole Kidman was a fun combination.
Brosnan was introducing "Sing Steet" because he's Irish.
I really want Vince Vaughn to disappear from these events - he never brings anything in the way of charm, humour, or life to any of these events.
Brie is gonna be doing a lot of award handing to Casey, so just go with it, girl and "act" nice lol
Brie couldnt hide her disatisfaction and disconfort. She did what she had to do but she was very unconfortable and it showed.
Good for her. Girl has boundaries and integrity.
Brad Pitt is a producer on Moonlight, working very hard behind the scenes for the film... I was cool with his presenting it.
Priyanka and Jeffrey had hot chemistry! There's a pic of them taken by Mert & Marcus at The Globes that is off the charts.
The whole thing was just painful, unless someone was speaking their own words. I hate when they give presenters corny canned language. I am firmly in the Susan Sarandon camp of "let's give the winner a few more seconds to talk." This is also why I only DVR awards shows now. I fast forward through all of the BS.
Casey Affleck [insert eye roll here].
Sofia Vergara should be ashamed of herself for perpetuating such a horrible stereotype about herself and Spanish-speaking people in general. She's at a point in her career where she no longer should be satisfied or comfortable with being Charo Version 2.0. She has a responsibility to do better and should actively find ways to do so because her modern minstrel act is not a cute look.
I don't think the criticism of Casey Affleck is as direct as I wish it could be. If he has ghosts in is past, can we at least have a nuanced discussion on whether to separate art from the artist. It's also worth noting that he didn't directly rape, assault or harass people so much as he created an unacceptable work environment for them. Don't get me wrong, he shouldn't have done that either, but perhaps the awards season can be seen as an opportunity to explain, apologize, etc. As it stands, it reads as passive aggressive, to just not like him being there.
I also had no idea what the heck Viola Davis was talking about.
I wouldn't have minded seeing Barry Jenkins present Moonlight because we haven't really gotten to know him but they didn't have directors present. I don't see the harm in the highest profile actor be part of the introduction.
I thought Matt Damon was the best because I don't think HFPA's quirky misplacement of categories can be overemphasized enough.
I m all for Brie Larson being disgruntled every time she gives case Affleck an award. He's kind of a tool and he belongs to a class of actors who don't understand that they get to do what they get to do because audiences go to their movies and therefore they have an implied obligation to be professional and not act like they are disgusted with fame. Because if they were, they wouldn't have followed that path.
I like Viola but i agree with whoever said i don't find her funny.
Wiig and Carrell - gosh what a genius act. I love them.
And i also agree that award shows should drop the generic intros- literally no one enjoys them and they make our best actors look like robots.
Not normally like this, but I wouldn't kick #21, #17, #16, #15, #11, #9, #4, Patel or Luna out of my bed for eating crackers. Dayum.
Orrin - he allegedly told one of the women to sleep in his bed and he'll take the couch and then she woke up with him next to her, touching her. How is that not direct assault?
I'm sure there will be an eventual DC/ Marvel cross over movie-so Thor could meet Wonder Woman
It was definitely random for Pierce Brosnan to introduce Sing Street since he has no connection to it so I'm guessing they were going for the Irish connection?
Brosnan said as much in his intro.