12 days til Oscar - a dozen wishes as Oscar voting begins
Tuesday, February 12, 2019 at 6:06PM Though we're dreading the Oscars for the first time in our lives that we can recall (it's that damn gnawing off of their own limbs while in ABC's trap that they're doing) we'll still be watching and hoping for the best. With Oscars just twelve days away and voting beginning here are
12 WISHES FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE SEASON...
1. For voters to watch one or two more screeners before they vote. Better, or at least fairer choices will be made if they have seen every option within a category. Particularly in the lower profile categories like Animated Short or Documentaryl don't just vote for Bao or RBG because they're the ones you've seen -- vote for them only if you think they're the actual best.
2. That John Bailey and the Board of Governors realize their disgusting mistake and reverse course yet again restoring the cut categories to the Broadcast. Giving out awards during commercial breaks is shameful and also, as we've heard from people who've attended, extra disrespectful because in the room there is tons of noise during commercial breaks as everyone runs for drinks, bathroom breaks, to visit friends in other seats, etc...
No one will be paying attention to these artists when they're having their moments!
3. For voters to collectively realize TODAY and all through voting that Mahershala Ali a) already has an Oscar for a better performance than the one he gives in Green Book b) is a leading man in a supporting category where he has an unfair advantage and c) that they have two absolutely grand real supporting performances from enduring performances who have never won in the category that would look great in the history books as winners, would probably result in a superb telecast moment of giddiness and wit, and would also honor both exceptional 2018 performance and decades of film history: Richard E Grant in Can You Ever Forgive Me or Sam Elliott in A Star is Born, take your pick.
4. If #2 doesn't occur, for several winners speak out from the stage to protest Oscar's recent blunderheaded decisions but particularly the move to not air certain categories. Oscar getting read from the stage is always kind of subversive and thrilling (remember Kim Basinger scolding them for skipping Do The Right Thing AT THAT VERY CEREMONY. Brave and progressive of her for the time)
5. If #2 doesn't occur for the ceremony to be an unmitigated disaster or at least very disjointed and chaotic and low-rated. It breaks our hearts to wish this upon the best event in the whole world but perhaps then they'd realize not to try and fix what ain't broke?
6. For voters to really think about each craft nominee's achievements as they vote rather than just checking off the name of the film of the film they happen to like the best among the five. On this same topic it would be cool if the sound branch realized that giving Bohemian Rhapsody the Oscar for playing Queen's music is not remotely the same as resurrecting Freddie Mercury to hand him an Oscar.
7. ...by the same token for voters to realize that voting for Rami Malek is not the same as resurrecting Freddie Mercury to hand him an Oscar. In fact, it's much closer to handing alleged sexual predator Bryan Singer an award for his directing skill with actors.
And -- I know this is asking a lot -- for the voters to realize, overall and in perpetuity, that you don't have to always hand the Oscar to biopic performances. It's not mandatory! Creating a character from scratch and making them feel like an absolutely real three-dimensional person with history, depth, complexities, faults, and reserves of soul takes just as much skill and definitely more imagination (hi, Bradley Cooper & Regina King & Glenn Close!)
8. For Glenn Close to finally win that damn Oscar she's deserved a few times for yet another grand performance. This is IN NO WAY a Scent of a Woman situation. It's only embarrassing to hand career Oscars to sensational performers IF they're doing subpar work. The Wife is among her best performances so there's no reason to hesitate.
9. For the song performances to be so entertaining on Oscar night that at least they get raves and remind the Academy that the format of the show was the fine the way it was and the song performances are fun little 'intermissions' between acceptance speeches. They grant the show variety and they're certainly more exciting than watching some dumb lengthy skit involving 'real' people or lock boxes or whatnot.
And within this group, for "Shallow" to be so incredible live that everyone feels collective shame that they didn't vote for the year's best performance by an actor: That'd be Bradley Cooper.
10. For Border to surprise and win Best Makeup and Hair because it's frankly no contest. This is no shade to the other nominees who would be worthy winners in another year and who should be very proud of their nominations for strong work. But Border is next level.
11. For an actress to present Best Picture. It doesn't happen enough. You have a problem when in 90 ceremonies, only 11 actresses have done it. As a reminder they were: Audrey Hepburn, Barbra Streisand, Faye Dunaway, Diane Keaton, Elizabeth Taylor, Cher, Carol Burnett, Lillian Gish, Julie Andrews, Janet Gaynor, and Mary Pickford.
What on earth is the holdup with having, say, Fonda or Maclaine do it? Or MERYL STREEP ?!?
12. For voters to realize that Roma doesn't need ALL the prizes. Sweeps are boring and they're also hard to justify with so much fine work nominated in each category. For instance, if it's your #1 vote in Best Picture and Best Director, why give it Foreign Film and Cinematography, too, when Shoplifters and Cold War are right there?
HAPPY EIGHT DAYS OF OSCAR VOTING EVERYONE!
Reader Comments (59)
HARD disagree on Meryl Streep. That woman shouldn't be anywhere near the stage after her association with Harvey.
I find it frustrating that the movies whose characters experience shame for their sexuality - I am looking at you Bohemian Rhapsody and Green Book - are being showered with awards while films that display an acceptance and openness with homosexuality and queer culture - here's lookin' at you Can You Ever Forgive Me? and A Star is Born kids - are repeatedly walking away empty handed. Sad.
And I agree with everything Nathaniel has said in these comments btw. Thank you for doing what you do sir!
Don't wish for Meryl to attend the Oscars during one of her rare years off. Let her watch the ceremony in her pajamas for once.
It'd be a great idea for her to present Best Picture during some future year when she is nominated but the film she's appearing in is not (I hope that's not next year, because I'm already rooting for Little Women to get loads of nominations).
Thank you @Tom Ford
So, people think Cate is tainted by Woody, Meryl is tainted by Harvey, and Rami is tainted by Bryan? Is this the McCarthy era?
And Nathaniel wants to be SJP in 1995, living the dream. LOL
Depending on how Oscar night goes, I know I'm going to have a serious emotional reaction to Glenn Close's win or loss. If she wins, I will scream and jump, but if she loses, I will stomp and grunt, possibly cry.
For Disney’s blatant gall of axing the live telecast of 4 categories, I wish that every Academy voter votes Against anything remotely related to a Disney win. I’m sure that other winners will be orchestrated off, but Disney winners could talk forever.
-Really hope the ratings hit a butchered all time low and this ceremony is moved to TCM.
I mean, there are lots of good arguments for #presentall24 but I don't think audience noise is a good one. There is noise and chaos during commercial breaks now because nothing is happening. I assume the actual film industry folks will sit still and be respectful when their peers are getting an award. And if not... well, it becomes hard to argue that the television audience of 30 million cares about those awards, instead of using them for their own bathroom breaks, right?
Fire John Bailey. Yesterday.
I wouldn't be mad if either Grant or Elliott won BSA, but let’s not pretend that Elliott would triumph because he gave an “absolutely grand” performance. He’s not Christopher Plummer in Beginners or James Coburn in Affliction; he’s just good, so his being a vet would definitely tip the scales in his favor.