Ranking the Oscar Clips

by Ben Miller

Of all the decisions the Academy Awards producers/directors must make, the Oscar clip decisions are surely the most covetous -- who among us wouldn't want to chose? They're fairly crucial, too.  I ranked all the clips last year, and Nathaniel was nice enough to let me do it again.  The clips preceding each of the categories ranged from brilliant to “what the hell was that?”  Let’s rank them 20-1…

Cringe-worthy

I sometimes wish I'd never been born at aaaaaaallllllll 🎵

20. Viggo Mortensen, Green Book
19. Rami Malek, Bohemian Rhapsody

Woo boy.  I would personally defend the work of both of these performances, but the snippets shown on Sunday did not lend any firepower to those arguments.  Viggo gets to wax on like an idiot about not knowing the difference between Russian and German before laying on some casual racism. Malek has plenty of good moments in the Queen biopic, but a simple shot of him lipsyncing reads like an Oscar producer’s opinion on the performance itself seeping through.

Not Doing Anyone Any Favors...

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Richard Met Barbra!

Sometimes Oscar night offers a silver lining to those who go home empty handed. Case in point: Richard E. Grant may have not won Best Supporting Actor for Can You Ever Forgive Me? but he did get a prize of sorts that was a lifetime in the making. He finally met Barbra Streisand!

Being Oscar nominated was pretty amazing, but meeting with @barbrastreisand and having a proper conversation was an absolute astonishment. 40 carat Gold 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 pic.twitter.com/7ahBzdjg9j

— Richard E. Grant (@RichardEGrant) February 25, 2019

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Caption This: Glenn's Gaze

Nathaniel has already done the job of lamenting Glenn Close's sad loss again at Oscar's big night, so let's take some joy in one thing she did win that night: the internet. The spirit of goodwill and love for the screen legend has been everywhere online this season, from sharing selfies with Chalamet to her dog Sir Pippin of Beanfield's Instagram. But last night she gave us a genius bit of viral performance when she caught the eye of co-nominee Melissa McCarthy on the red carpet. The results were glamorous and... sexual (?) in nature.

  

Reader, tell us: what is Glenn Close thinking?

And The Oscar For "Best Arm" Goes To...

by Dancin' Dan

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Chris Evans, First Gentleman of the Oscars...

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Beauty vs Beast: Our Favourite Fellas

Jason from MNPP here, wishing everyone a Happy Oscar Hangover Monday -- the mood swings last night were particularly violent, but then we live in a rollercoaster world in 2019 so the evening felt par for the course. Personally I had some villains I was rooting against last night but today in the light of day I don't feel like being particularly cruel so I'm going to go another direction with this week's "Beauty vs Beast" competition and celebrate one last time before we move on to new things my favourite red-carpet duo this season -- the fellas of The Favourite, Nicholas Hoult and Joe Alwyn, who trotted out their sharpest looks of the year on the red carpet, Nicky in Dior and Joe in Tom Ford. Nothing diabolical here, let's keep it light -- just choose!

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PREVIOUSLY Two weeks back it was the ladies of ROMA facing off for us, and leading lady Yalitza Aparicio took home your prize with 58% of the vote. Here's a selection of what Jones had to say (I recommend you click back and read the whole comment though because it's boss):

"To understand Cleo's character is necessary to not only understand existing at the margins of society but to be familiar with what it is like to exist at the margins of a household: being intimate without having a voice or autonomy. To people unfamiliar with these class structures and Mexican indigenous people this could read as blank but reflect again..."