Chappie, or "God, How I Hated That Robot"

Michael C here. The more coarse and petty the level of online discourse becomes the more determined I am to elevate things when I add my own voice to the mix. And yet, here I am sitting down to write about Chappie, a film that announces itself as being full of Big Ideas, and all I really want to say is, “God, how I hated that robot.” 

I could couch that in more academic terms. I could say Chappie’s grating personality exemplifies the many drastic miscalculations Neill Blomkamp made in crafting his latest sci-fi parable. But let’s cut to the heart of the matter. Chappie is the worst. Not Chappie the movie, which is bad, but not as Earth-shatteringly terrible as its buzz suggests. Chappie the character, the first robot to be programmed with a soul. I hated Chappie’s cloying, chirpy voice (courtesy of District 9's Sharlto Copley). I hated the supposedly cutesy-poo way Chappie refers to himself in the third person. I hated the attempts to make me go “Awww” by having Chappie relate to the children’s book The Black Sheep. And Sweet Jesus did I hate it when a gang of thugs teaches Chappie to mimic all their irritating mannerisms. [More...]

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Brandy. Whitney. Bernadette. It's Cinderella... Again

Cinderella Week continues with Andrew Kendall on a true event in showbiz history...

On our journey through Cinderellas we take a stop in 1997 for an unlikely entry in the canon. Unlike the animated version it did not change a cinematic form, nor like the Julie Andrews version did it launch a star. When the 1997 TV production of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella premiered in 1997 it was hailed as one of the most successful TV musicals in years and audiences did, love it, 60 million of them. But, it has endured as little more than a footnote on the résumé of its fêted cast and crew.

This would be the second remake of the Rodger and Hammerstein’s Cinderella written for Julie Andrews in 1957 (the first remake a Lesley Ann Warren version in 1965). And, still, I’d swear on the altar of all things magical that this is the finest adaptation of the Cinderella story. Myriad reasons, but principally because this Cinderella has more on its mind than just the girl at the centre…

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"You own everything. Everything is yours."

There are so many great moments in Paris is Burning, this week's Hit Me With Your Best Shot subject, that it's a real struggle to narrow down what you even what to say about it. And your top ten moments -- I love the "O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E" moment more than is entirely healthy -- might not even contain anything like your choice for this series.

CATEGORY IS... BEST SHOT! But this queen isn't quite ready to "walk" and our resident Australian Glenn is having a going away thing tonight, so Best Shot must wait until tomorrow so there's still time to Netflix Instant Watch this thing and join us! Some of the legendary Best Shot Children are ready to go so the trophies are theirs. Please click over and read what these fine blogs have to say about this revelatory time capsule.

THE 17 PARTICIPANTS THUS FAR
• Dusty Hixenbaugh
• A Fistful of Films
• CineMunch
• The Spy in the Sandwich
• Film Actually
• Out to the Movies
• Coco Hits NY
• Queerer Things
• The Entertainment Junkie
• Dancin Dan on Film
• Lam Chop Chop
• Sorta That Guy
• The Film's The Thing
• I Am Derreck
• Video Valhalla
• Paul Outlaw
• Nebel Without a Cause

• .... AND YOUR CHOICE ???

Oh come on, you know you wanna try. It's only about 70 minutes long and it's on Netflix Instant Watch. Join us and I'll include you in the visual index tomorrow night. You've been given a 24 hour extension on your deadline since I'm running late. We're serving PROCRASTINATING REALNESS.
 
 

Q&A: Hitchcock Presents Reader Questions

Oops. The 'Ask Nathaniel / Q&A' column is a Monday experience. And here it is on Tuesday. I blame... what really matters is the blame  somebody to blame. well if that's the thing you enjoy placing the blame, if that's your aim,  give me the blame.

HI EVERYBODY! Are you glad that the themed banner is back up top? I'm going with photography this week so here is a picture of Matt Damon and Ben Affleck for laughs before we get to eight reader questions after the jump starring Alfred Hitchcock, Daniel Day-Lewis, Drew Barrymore and The Golden Girls.

Why? I don't know. So, it's your fault then!

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Curio: Handmade Movies

Alexa here with your weekly arts and crafts. In a sort of continuation of last week's episode, here's an odd little obsession I've had brewing lately: making your own paper movie machines. I've always been into early cinema (TCM Silent Sundays were a must until my cable bundle dropped TCM) and reading up on the Lumiere brothers and all the strange optical toys that preceded the advent of photographic moving pictures. (Yes, Hugo was a thrill in this regard.) I went as far as to buy this book on etsy, which has very interesting instructions for making your own thaumatropes, kinematoscopes, rolloscopes and lots of other tropes and scopes I had no idea existed.

At one point I had a ridiculously analog notion to make strips from screencaps of my favorite films so I could watch them with my daughter through a zoetrope, until I realized this would totally make me a Portlandia punchline. I promise, I have no other steampunk leanings.

Various optical toys that replicate the wonder of the earliest moving pictures are being made by many, and antique machines are a collectors item. Flipbooks, praxinascopes and thaumatropes are after the jump.

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