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Wednesday
Jun082011

Reader Request: "The Other Woman"

We held a poll for new DVD write-ups and you chose this one. It's your fault! ;)

You're familiar with the ol' term "edited with a chainsaw", yes? Thist post will surely be written by one. Edited with a chainsaw is an odd phrase since it scapegoats the editor when messy jumbled narrative choices and general incoherence are just as often the fault of screenwriters and directors. Not that editing can't make things worse. Quick, explain what happened in that final battle on the rainbow bridge in Thor because I still don't know. If I ever meet Paul Rubell I will definitely ask him. I don't mean to single Mr Rubell out among editors but my mind lept to Thor because The Other Woman -- our topic du jour -- also stars Her Lady of Ubiquity Natalie Portman. But, really, Thor isn't particularly egregious as incoherent actioners go. Continuity and visual coherence are no longer the end goals they once were. (Thanks for nothing, Paul Greengrass!)

Bad Lawyer! Natalie's sexting when she ought to be working.

When people use that chainsaw phrase today -- if they do at all - it merely means "this makes no sense!" or perhaps  "I hate this". It's flexible which is why it's still useful as verbal shorthand even though there's been no actual "cutting" of film in some time.

What are we even talking about? Oh, yes, The Other Woman: It makes no sense. I hated it.

I wish flexibility were a trait we could assign to writer/director Don Roos' latest but for as much as the new movie twists and bends, frequently and often in its attempt to be several different movies or perhaps a television series, it's always snapping and breaking rather than stretching and settling into new poses. My first urge is to call it incoherent (hence the editing cliché) but that's not quite right. The narrative is neither ambitious nor inept enough for true incoherence. But one thing is for certain, The Other Woman does not know itself. It's vague whenever it needs to be precise and bloated whenever it needs to trim.

Is it a romantic drama? Quite often but only for a few minutes at a time.

Is it a flashback picture about a hasty romantic decision? Well, it's structured a bit like that at first but then you realize the flashback is over and it was more like oddly placed first act decorative exposition and you're back in the present.

Is it a comedy? Not really, although there are a few jokes.

Is it a story about a woman who is way too immature to parent, suddenly thrust into the Stepmom role? It seems like that but then why all the romance? It keeps hinting that there's more to her than immaturity though that "more" never shows itself.

This blended family isn't blending well at all. Both moms, biological & step, like to verbally lash out at everyone around them.

Is it a thorny drama about blended families? Yes, half the time.

Is it a piercing drama about grief and the fragility of new life and love? At times but not for very long at a time.

Do all of these separate movies star two hugely unlikable women, who are members of the First Wives Club and the Young Homewreckers of America club? Ding! Ding! Ding!

Lisa Kudrow and Don Roos have been frequent collaborators for years now, and though he usually casts her as very bitter or frustrated women, they've been able to find such interesting layers of hurt and comedy in the roles. Sometimes she's an outright revelation (particularly in The Opposite of Sex and in her online series Web Therapy). Natalie Portman, who was in the process of winning the Oscar when this film finally arrived, is an uneven actress and she hits some notes here very well (she doesn't shy away from Amelia's immaturity or difficulty at thinking beyond the moment) but it's a repetitive and undercooked performance.

You can forgive a lot when you watch bad movies if the protagonist or antagonist or supporting characters are either straight up likeable or charismatically flawed. But virtually no one in The Other Woman lays claim to your heart. Two of the most generally "likeable" characters, played by Lauren Ambrose and Anthony Rapp, pop in from time to time to provide a laugh line or a sympathetic ear but they're in so little of the movie that it's difficult to get any sort of bead on who they are outside of their trio friendship with Natalie Portman and The Other Woman doesn't care enough about these friendships to suggest anything about their strength.

Rapp, Portman and Ambrose are friends. But how much and for how long?

The three main characters are walking wounded nightmares: Amelia (Natalie Portman) is bitchy, self-deluding, immature and hypocritical (she married a cheater and despises cheaters and doesn't view her actions as inappropriate even though she actively pursues the married man); Carolyne (Lisa Kudrow) is the shrewish ex-wife who is so brittle and unforgiving that you can't help but be glad that her husband escaped her; Jack (Scott Cohen) doesn't make a whole lot of sense and remains a cypher since the film keeps drifting away from him towards the women and his son. You know there's more to him but he only reveals his hurt in the final moments and then, promptly and all too easily, seems to segue immediately back into Father Knows Best mode.

The same day I watched the film I attended a party and I was trying to explain my problem with the film to a friend. Since I was a little buzzed from drinks my critique veered uncomfortably away from the verbal into something approaching charades format; I played Natalie Portman and acted out One Scene As Every Scene, if you know what I mean. It went exactly like this (verbatim!) ...though I wasn't wearing a wig.

This happens over and over again in the movie whether we're in coming-of-age land, the flashback movie, in romantic drama territory, the family strife issues film or baby grief catharsis. All five of the movies we're watching have the same scene: Natalie lashes out, apologizes, feels bad about herself, and continues to blame other people; Repeat for the entire movie until she grows up a teensy bit at the end in an unconvincing and unclimactic way.

Don Roos has made two very good features in the past (The Opposite of Sex and Happy Endings) which both demonstrated a unique voice with a deft command of interlocking character arcs, plotty developments that inform the arcs in question, and the ability to conjure a whole passel of hugely flawed somewhat off-putting characters that manage to be endearing or fascinating because of the good humor, complexity and depth of the characterizations. The Other Woman shares many of these same structural elements but none of the success with them. It's tough to say what went wrong but it went very wrong. Best to call this one That Other Movie, ignore it, and rewatch one of those earlier fine pictures instead. D

 

Wednesday
Jun082011

Quickies: Window Women, Green Guns, Dendro Disciples

Superheroes and their phalluses. I swear.Quick Pet Peeve: I haven't seen it yet but why is Hal Jordan so unimaginative with his power ring in Green Lantern? I mean, you can create anything with it so you're just going to make a machine gun? Dullzzz-ville. Is this going to be like that time when vampires and werewolves were suddenly fighting with guns, draining them of all their supernatural mojo?

Quick Note: Tonight's episode of "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" will air tomorrow at noon instead. This day is crazy busy so I won't be ready in time. To prepare why not watch Fritz Lang's 1944 noir WOMAN IN THE WINDOW on Netflix Instant Watch.

Quick Poll: So many people are [ahem] tree-inclined these days. There's more than just hugging going on. From Justin Vivian Bond to The Stark Boys, who wins Dendrophile of the Week?! Vote.

Quick Question: Salt sequel with Angelina Jolie is a go. Have you any interest at all?

Tuesday
Jun072011

Linkland: Thelma & Louise, Marion & Melanie, Regina & Shawn

Movie|Line "what the box office skeptics are missing about Super 8"?
In Contention does not like Super 8. "Super h8ted it" Uh oh.
Just Jared Dakota Fanning's High School Graduation. Congrats Dakota!
Mister Hipp "sometimes you can still catch me dancing in it" - just lovely. Still my favorite Tim Burton film.
Kenneth in the (212) Thelma & Louise, 20 years later (in Toronto.) Awwww I ♥. Sadly, Brad Pitt was not there.
Tom Shone loves Melanie Laurent in Beginners. As do I.
The Critical Condition has a really interesting question/thought about Marion Cotillard in Midnight in Paris. NOTE: Don't read it until after you've seen the movie!
Splash Page talks to Chris Evans about working on The Avengers.

X-Men "Born This Way" Parody.

Teehee. Fun lyrics although some may quibble about Magneto not being... that other way.

Finally, Scott Feinberg shares the nominees for the 1st annual BTJA "Critics Choice" Awards. Mad Men cleans up but the interesting part is the Emmy-diversion details: Glee is nominated but Jane Lynch is the only cast member with a nomination; they're absolutely nuts for all AMC shows; and Southland got a nomination for Shawn Hatosy (yes!) but not for Regina King (boo!). If you watch Southland you'll know that Hatosy's role got crazy intense this past season as his screen partner Kevin Alejandro was killed (so that he could sex up Lafayette on True Blood... or was that a post-job-loss career get?) and Hatosy's character broke down hard. But the MVP of this show is still Regina King. Go Regina!

Tuesday
Jun072011

Nicole Kidman Sends Us A Message

It's not every day that one of the world's best records a wee message for fans. This was obviously recorded to arrive in time for my birthday celebration. By "fans" she meant "The Film Experience Community". OBVIOUSLY ;)  Only she forgot to say "thanks for Moulin Rouge! week"

... don't you love the "I'm shy" part?

Tuesday
Jun072011

Red Carpet: MTV Girls, Super Empathy, and Lively Nudity

Previously on red carpet lineup Nathaniel and Jose discussed Cannes gowns and Kurt and Nathaniel chatted about the annual Met Gala. In today's episode, Nathaniel and Jose discuss the MTV Movie Awards fashion.

Nathaniel: ‬ ‪This time we're starting a bit "off cinema" -- although calling the MTV Movie Awards cinema related is a stretch -- for a brief look at the CDFA Awards held this week in New York City.‬

Lady Gaga, Lady Watts, Lady Sevigny, Housewife Marcia

Jose: ‬ ‪Wait, is that the thing where Gaga is? I assumed this lineup was the MTV awards too. Ha. I obviously missed both ceremonies

Nathaniel:‬ ‪Yep. The Council of Fashion Designers honored the industry's biggest designers as is their habit. But they also gave an award to Lady Gaga. Isn't giving Gaga a fashion award kind of like giving Angelina Jolie a Fame Award. Like...

"Congratulations: You are You!!!"

Jose: ‬ ‬ ‪She should receive fashion awards at the Cattle Salesman Council, not the fashion council.‬
She's always so coy about it, like "oh, you think I'm special?", I hate that. ‪Despite my love of McQueen I personally think that you should be able to "wear" fashion and these awards should go to people who encourage that‬

Nathaniel:‬ I hesitated to include Gaga in the Lineup o Actresses because lord knows the woman CANNOT act (see: music videos and SNL). I wish so bad that she'd make a movie because people would finally stop kicking Madonna for her shaky thespian tendencies. But I have a larger point to make.‬

Which is that if you're attending such a thing, shouldn't you do what Chloe Sevigny and Marcia Cross are doing and NOT what Naomi Watts is doing? Something eyepopping or you might as well be wallpaper.

Jose: To be honest, I'd rather have my Naomi fix in this wallflower-ish type, cause she's made some hideous choices in the past‬. Remember that dress she wore to the Oscars that made her look like King Kong had recently attacked her? This is careless copying, though. This is essentially what Gwynnie wore to the Oscars this year, but short and shapeless.

Nathaniel:‬ And bland. Here's the thing with blond actresses that are not particularly unusually eye-popping in some way. They're like grains of sand on the beach. There are millions of others with whom you are indistinguishable unless you're giving it a little something extra.‬ Naomi overcompensates onscreen sometimes by ACTING but undercompensates on the red carpet.

Jose: I say let's pull a Freaky Friday on Gaga and Naomi.

Nathaniel: !!! Wonderful idea.

Jose: Gaga looking human would be more surprising than anything else.

Nathaniel: Totes. I keep waiting for her to have her own "Live to Tell" moment where suddenly she's just in a simple flowery dress with pretty hair. That was SO shocking at the time for Madonna.‬ That's got to happen eventually.

Jose: ‬ ‬ ‪I'd love to see what she wore when she was just plain old "Gaga from the block", even Madge is down to earth now (in Louis Vuitton of course)‬

Nathaniel: I like that Chloe's top feels rubbery and sentient and winged... I suddenly picture her as Professor X's love Empress Lilandra of the Shi'Ar but I have mutants on the brain.

Jose: That makes total sense. She wouldn't even need CGI to display weird powers.‬

Lilandra and Dazzler of late 70s/early 80s X-Men fame


Nathaniel:‬ ‪Heh. I know I've said this very recently in another red carpet post but everyone is conspiring to make me think of 70s DAZZLER from the X-Men lately.

Jose: ‬ ‪Marcia looks stunning. I'm pretty sure she's looked the same since the 70's, maybe she's a mutant herself‬.

Nathaniel: These sparkly disco jumpsuits! There needs to be an X-Men Origins: Dazzler movie to fully bring back the 1970s. Fashion is trying to take us there anyway.‬

Jose: And I'd love to see Cross in a catfight with Jennifer Lawrence. ‪I say, let's put 'em all in rollerskates and have ourselves a Xanadu-Men: First Class!‬

Nathaniel: Damnit. Now I have to go masturbate.

Jose: LOL. It's too early for that here.

Nathaniel: Self-love knows no time zones!‬ Speaking of masturbatory.... let's move on to the MTV Twilight Awards.‬

Jose: ‬ ‬ ‪Ew, fine.

Nathaniel:‬ ‪This first lineup of lovely ladies demonstrates to us that it's A) summer at last B) short skirts are in.‬

Emma Watson, Mini-Dakota, Emma Stone, KStew, Queen Reese

Jose:  ‬ ‪I remember the time when the fine people of the planet voted for movies like Scream and Lord of the Rings in those awards, heck they even gave Nicole Kidman a trophy for Moulin Rouge! when Oscar ignored her‬

Nathaniel:‬ ‪I was just talking about this to a friend yesterday at lunch. You sound like an old curmudgeon when you say: back in my day they used to vote for good movies! but in this case it's not nostalgia, it's plain-ass facts.

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