Yes, No, Maybe So... (a mystery movie)

Dancin' Dan here, ready to play our favorite trailer game with a bit of a twist. Those of you who saw Catching Fire this past weekend were treated to what is surely one of the weirdest and worst trailers in recent memory... although you might not have realized the full extent of its awfulness until the very end, when the title flashes across the screen.

Let's break it down... chronologically this time.

YES

Things start off well enough... a pretty poor boy (Alex Pettyfer) and a pretty rich girl (Gabriella Wilde) meet-cute/creepy as pretty music plays...

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Yes, No, Maybe So: Nymphomaniac

I have been remiss in my Von Trier worshipping duties. He was once basically vying for Nathaniel's Favorite Working Director since I loved everything he made from 1996 through 2004. But in roughly those same years Almodóvar was peaking and Lars lost the Battle of the Auteurs. In the past nine years I have gone off Lars a little though Melancholia (2011) came thisclose to reginiting the passion. If it had only been tighter! I've tried to rewatch it a few times because I think it's a near masterpiece but the padding and wandering repetitions really undermine its potency and actively make me angry since it could have been one for the all time lists!

Which brings us to Nymphomaniac which is NOT keeping it tight as if to spite me. It's the story of a very loose woman, played by glutton for punishment Charlotte Gainsbourg (3 films with LVT now), and it's reportedly 5 hours long. (One wonders what it is that editors actually do on an LvT picture beyond lining up the scenes and calling it a day.)

So let's do a Yes No Maybe So on the very very very NSFW trailer so don't click on the "click to read more" link if nudity offends you since there will be screen captures... Okay, prudes and whores, let's do this!

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Yes No Maybe So - Noah

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JA from MNPP here, taking a look at the first trailer for Darren Aronofsky's bible-epic Noah, giving us the titular tale of one man, one god, two of every animal, and a whole bunch of water. There have been whispers of a battle between the studio and the director over the film's tone - they want it to play straight for the church crowds and that Passion of the Christ money, while Darren Aronofsky, well, is Darren Aronofsky, and I think he probably doesn't have a lot of interest in not complicating Ye Olde Tale a little bit. Well now we've got an inkling, two and a half minutes of inkling, what's what.

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So let's break that sucker down into Nat's patented three-tiered system.

YES

-- Darren Aronofsky, of course - I might be more pro-Aronofsky than a lot of you, so perhaps you should take my opinion on this knowing that fact; I've loved deep in my bones every single film he's made (yes including The Fountain). His last film Black Swan might be my favorite even, but it was shamelessly playing right to my wheel-house so I could hardly help myself.

-- Emma Watson and Logan Lerman reunited! Let's hope they stick their heads out of the sunroof of the Ark while a David Bowie song plays.

-- You can already see the magic touch of Matthew Libatique all over it - some of that quick flashing nature photography is stunning. Speaking of...

-- Whatever this guy is! He's a big creepy plus. Do you think he's supposed to be Satan in the Garden? There's also a flash of an apple being picked, so I think I might be onto something. Anyway I hope there are all kinds of fanciful creatures mixed in with the usual elephants and giraffes and zebras we see in Noah stories.

-- The flaming sword scorching the Earth is kick ass!

NO

-- The CG animal stampede is kind of cheesy here in our first glimpse of it. Of course I don't know how you play that without it coming off cheesy. Hopefully by the time the movie's out in March they'll have made the CG a little bit more convincing, at least.

-- Similarly that shot of the Ark rocking in the waves at the end is some 2012 slash The Perfect Storm cheese. And way to give away the ending!

-- The fight scenes all look really monochromatic and good god we've seen that enough by now haven't we?

-- I never thought I'd be sick of Anthony Hopkins, but I'm sick of Anthony Hopkins.

MAYBE SO

-- Jennifer Connolly hasn't worked with Aronofsky since she gave that wonderful performance in Requiem For a Dream, which kind of kicked off her serious career. (Hey I love Labyrinth as much as the next guy.) - let's hope that the role of Noah's Wife is more than just the noble suffering "I'm With Stupid tee-shirt" role and she's got something to play. I've missed her lately.

-- I'm not the world's biggest Russell Crowe fan, and it's obvious that the studio wants us to think this is Gladiator 2: God's On His Side Now, but he looks pretty commanding with that shaved head and beard inside a tasteful yet butch rough-hewn cotton ensemble, and I'll admit, he's pretty perfect for the part.

So what say you people? Will you be boarding the ship with Darren and company on March 28th 2014, or are you feeling agnostic about this storm?
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Maleficent Teases...

We'll save the Yes No Maybe So-ing for a full trailer, but Disney is now teasing Maleficent, their Spring 2014 blockbuster hopeful, with a Pfeifferesque Pfirst Poster and a new teaser which gives us our first taste of...

Well, if not the movie itself than its...

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Yes, No, Maybe So: The Lego Movie

Glenn here. Okay, sure, The Lego Movie may not be the kind of movie that we would normally cover here at The Film Experience, but, hey, why not? And if you've so far avoided the first trailer of The Lego Movie then now's the time to catch up because, surprise, it doesn't look half as bad as you're probably expecting! Besides, with this year's animation race looking rather dire it's probably as good a time as any to look forward to next year's candidates, which are already looking like a far more interesting bunch. 

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