2019's Best Screen Animals

Different lists each for our "Year in Review"

We had hoped to put the entire cast of Cats on this list of the big screen's best animal characters but alas... very few of them are worthy to ascend to the Heaviside Layer let alone our year end list of the best big screen animals! This list is dedicated to bunnies as those beady-eyed cuties had a rough year at the movies. They were used solely for unsettling mood, multiplying sybolism and raw meat (gross) in Us and later popped up as an instrument of toxic masculine shaming in Jojo Rabbit. Bunnies deserve better in 2020! Which filmmaker will answer the call and treat them well onscreen?

Without further ado let's talk the screen animals we fell hardest for at the movies this year.  

11 Dumbo (elephant)
Here's the thing. Tim Burton and Screenwriters and (presumably) Disney corporate were so intent on expanding the movie (it's 48 minutes longer than the original Dumbo!) that it keeps pointing to everything but the star mutant attraction. Dumbo is as adorable as his ears are big but he's a supporting player in his own movie. They lost the thread or Dumbo could've topped the list.

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The AFI Lists

The AFI are now in their 20th year so they're as old as our own Film Bitch Awards ;) Each year they choose 10 American movies to honor and 10 American television programs and then usually make one nod to non American things as they did this year with shoutouts to South Korea (Parasite) and the UK (Fleabag). Their nominating jury is made up of critics, movie people, and other luminaries and changes each year. But regardless of the individual voters you usually end up with something like the Oscar list. This year leans VERY December as if no other months held movies so the jury had extremely short attention spans. That said at least The Farewell and Once Upon a Time ... in Hollywood are surviving those very very very short attention spans that always plague voters.

Here is the full list of this year’s honorees who will be honored at a luncheon in January...

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John Waters and other list-makers. "Freak out, baby, freak out"

by Nathaniel R

Climax is #1... according to John Waters

It’s top ten time of year (lots of them after the jump) and the great unofficial kick-off is the always delicious and on-brand John Waters lists for ArtForum. His lists are on brand because some of the films you can totally see why America’s most famous cult director would love them (his #1 fits that bill splendidly “Frenzied dance numbers combined with LSD, mental breakdowns, and childhood trauma turn this nutcase drama into The Red Shoes meets Hallucination Generation. Freak out, baby, freak out!”)  and one or two because you’ve never heard of them (obscure  indies!) and generally one or two that you weren’t even remotely expecting for its mainstream-appeal reasons. 

1. Climax (Gaspar Noe)

2. Joan or Arc (Bruno Dumont)

3. Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood (Quentin Tarantino)...

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Parasite's loot and other Palme d'Or winner returns

Let's marvel again at the success of Parasite in US release, but this time in the context of Palme d'Or winners. Parasite is just one notch away from being the 10 highest grossing Cannes winner of all time (at least as far as contemporary box office reporting goes). It's already the most successful Palme d'Or winner of all time among the non-English language winners. 

Box office figures aren't readily available before the 1970s so we started in 1970 -- there are a few winners since then with no US box office results which means they either weren't ever released in the US or were somehow not reported. It's also worth noting that these numbers are not adjusted for inflation so we're assuming that either MASH or Apocalypse Now which bookended the 1970s would actually top the list as the highest grossing Palme d'Or winner ever. Figures are only domestic (USA) totals.

TOP GROSSING PALME D'OR WINNERS IN THE U.S.
figures as of January 26th, 2020

1. Fahrenheit 9/11 (2004) $119.1
2. Pulp Fiction (1994) $107.9
3. Apocalypse Now (1979) $83.4
4. MASH (1970) $81.6...

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Best of the "Whodunnit?" Genre (Part Three)

Part One Gosford Park, etcetera
Part Two The Maltese Falcon, etcetera
...and now we conclude the countdown of the best whodunnits in honor of the impending release of the all star mystery Knives Out.

by Eurocheese

2. Memento
I know Christopher Nolan isn’t everyone’s cup of tea – fair enough. Whodunnits are essentially excuses to get inside the head of a killer. To start with a murder, realize the killer can’t trust his own thoughts , and try to put together who is pulling the strings in his mind… what an impressive conceit to thrill die hard mystery fans. Disorienting the audience in every scene while cutting in clips of a paranoid, trapped man trying to piece together his memories, without giving anything away? I have to believe Agatha Christie herself would applaud the finale...

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