Cast This! Future X-Men

It's Mutant Week!

We haven't done a "Cast This!" in awhile. The X-Men franchise may have a disproportionate amount of blue members (Angel, Beast, Mystique, Nightcrawler) at various times in their long history but the color that keeps those movie mutants going is green. Eventually they'll get to all the characters if you keep buying your tickets. Or, they won't and they'll just keep redoing the few they've concentrated on. (Those super lame cameos by every mutant who ever existed in X-Men Last Stand and X-Men Origins: Wolverine DO NOT COUNT.) Since I grew up obsessing over the X-Men, once every 3 years or so I think "I should read those comics again" only to immediately abandon the notion after one issue when I realize that the universe is too crowded. There's no continuity or internal logic I can suss out and even when people can turn their whole body into steel or projectile vomit acid while flying on butterfly wings, I like for things to make sense.

The incredibly lame "X-Men Last Stand". DO-OVER!

Somehow comic book mutants keep dying, quitting, depowering, getting lost in alternate dimensions, and returning to fight once more. Some characters age out of the game. Others never age at all. The actual comic books do the same, some resetting to issue #1, others ending entirely. Nothing makes any sense for the newcomers... even with a study guide indicating, perhaps, that comic book companies don't expect anybody to keep reading for decades, hence all the resetting and undoing.

Now that they've hit the reset button yet again, who should we cast to play our favorite mutants that haven't gotten a fair shake or need radical do-overs? I've selected only 5½ characters because this could go on for weeks and it'd be easy to list 20. Plus: most of us wouldn't know enough working actor options for interesting characters like "Karma", a Vietnamese lesbian who possesses people or fan favorite "Jubilee" a Chinese-American teen gymnast who generates explosions. Just for two random examples.

Your casting choices in the comments please...

FAIR SHAKE

DAZZLER
They haven't used Alison Blaire, this goddess of light manipulation, presumably because she's an easy character to get wrong. But if any medium is the right one for "light shows" isn't it the movies? Attempts to update Dazzler, of disco-dolly rollerskating origin, tend to trap her in yet more period-specific pop looks. Remember that 80s aerobic blue look which screamed "Olivia Newton-John!" just as ONJ's fame was dwindling? But while the X-franchise is period mode, why not use her for X-Men Second Class (this will thankfully never be the title;  the reviews would write themselves!) and wrap her back up in 70s disco?

If Dazzler's original sartorial aesthetic is good enough for Lady Gaga in this new millenium, isn't it good enough for Marvel Studios?

Like Dazzler, Like Gaga: blue electric bolt eye decor, sparkly silver bodices

WHO YOU NEED: I'd be tempted to suggest Gaga, Britney, Ke$ha or XTina but STUNT CASTING only works when the stuntperson can actually act. Who would you choose? You need a 20something blonde who is shiny, sexy, easily manipulated (oops. we all have our flaws) and believable as both pop star AND mutant powered hero.

COLOSSUS
Daniel Cudmore looked the part in X2: X-Men United, but it was a bit part. But this Russian metal muscle man could look spectacular with the advances in CGI. Or not. Plus Piotr Rasputin is the only major member of the iconic X-Men team from the late 70s/early 80s that hasn't gotten a large role yet. But mostly I'm bringing Colossus up because as I was attending that Sandra Bernhard show the other night, Cheyenne Jackson was right in front of me in line filing in. After catching my breath -- he's impossibly better looking in person -- I thought "Hmmm. Colossus?" Take a look...

Whatch'a think?

NORTHSTAR / AURORA
They were originally members of Alpha Flight (a Canadian superhero team) but Alpha Flight's ties to the X-Men are plentiful and Northstar at least has been on an X-roster from time to time. These French Canadian twins have super speed, and huge bursts of blinding light when paired. Northstar, a star athlete, was (arguably) the first out gay superhero. The twins have such a convoluted and frequently revised back story (they're fairies, now they're dead, they're...whatever...) that it's best to just chuck it all and know that they're both extremely hot, lithe, black haired babes. They've cleaned up Northstar's personality over the years (I have no idea what happened to Aurora) but he started out egotistical and a bit amoral and she started off batshit bonkers with virgin/whore split personalities and they'd be really fun in movies if they were cast and executed properly.

WHO YOU NEED: I thought it would be a fun challenge to cast temperamental unisex hotness -- boy/girl twins with elfin beauty. I'm not sure I have a good suggestion so I'm hoping you do...

DO OVER

STORM
Halle Berry gave us the lamest "super" interpretation outside of... well, no, just the lamest. And she did it twice! (see also: Catwoman). Halle has her charms but few actors are suitable to all genres and she's like Kryptonite for this one. 

In many ways, Storm is THE female superhero, Marvel Division, so popular and so powerful that when they did one of those crossover things with MARVEL/DC decades ago, she had to face off against Wonder Woman herself. The movies have been content to paint her as a subordinate teacher/mother hen type for students and seriously mute her powers (or at least cover them in molasses... seriously get on with it already in those action sequences!).

WHO YOU NEED: an actress of african descent, who radiates fierceness and power and physicality -- Storm is still the most popular black superhero ever created and way up their in the female hero ranks, too -- but can also be the mother figure to young students. Most fans, including myself, wanted Angela Bassett back in the day but she's aged out of the part (sigh). You'd also want someone kind of scary unpredictable. Remember when Storm went through her punk phase?

ROGUE
I mean this as no knock against Anna Paquin who is fine in the movies, but the movies have had a very timid perception of this character. Rogue has long been one of the most fascinating mutants because of her complex psychological struggles connected to her powers. The movies reduced this to her touch incapacitating other people by basically stealing their life force but Rogue wasn't able to do anything much with this life force. In the comics, she can readily "borrow" powers, making her fierce in battle and given that sometimes she has other people's memories and personalities knocking around her head, she's also kind of fucked up crazy as well as continually sex-starved. Or at least that's how she started out... the comics are always messin' with the story. In short: the movies haven't even begun to explore her properly.

WHO YOU NEED: A southern (or southern-accent-capable) actress with a remarkably fluid expressiveness so as to better indicate all of Rogue's internal confusions and slippery crowded persona.

Five Characters. GO!

X-Men: First Adaptation

Andreas here. In his recent review of X-Men: First Class, Nathaniel pointed out how movies keep trying to master "television's most powerful asset (long form storytelling) without having the right equipment by which to master it (weekly hour-long episodes)." This is exactly why, to my mind, the most successful adaptation of the X-Men comics to date wasn't directed by Bryan Singer, and doesn't have a numeral after it. It's the Marvel/Saban-produced X-Men: The Animated Series, which ran for 76 episodes in the mid-'90s.

Like many superhero-themed TV shows, X-Men: TAS served as a "greatest hits" compilation, compacting decades of comics storylines into dense, bite-sized portions. It showcased some of the comics' most thrilling narrative arcs and most terrifying villains, like Apocalypse and the Sentinels. While the X-Men films have only scratched the surface of most characters, reserving the vast majority of screen time for Xavier, Magneto, and a few privileged others, the animated series had time to explore its mutant ensemble, devoting whole episodes to individual crises.

Better yet, X-Men: TAS used its guise a kids show (complete with lasers, spaceships, and time travel) to introduce a new generation to a range of social issues: institutionalized oppression, harassment, self-loathing, political assassinations, police states, and more. It was covertly progressive and slyly written in ways that are still impressive today. The show ended its run over a decade ago, yet its main authority figures (who doubled as bad-ass warriors) were a black woman and a disabled man.

So while I'm still excited to see X-Men: First Class, I doubt it'll top X-Men: The Animated Series, which embraced and exploited its source material's superpowered soap opera. (It was also my childhood gateway drug into the nerdy world of superheroes and comics, so that nostalgic attachment helps.)

I'll close with my big wish as a cinephile and animation junkie: why can't we get more high-quality, feature-length, animated superhero movies, à la Batman: Mask of the Phantasm? Bad example, I guess, since that was tragically unprofitable... but the idea's still good! I'd definitely pay $8-10 to see X-Men: The Animated Movie on the big screen. Oh, and Marvel, while you're catering to my dreams: can you please bring back the Sentinels?

What dreams would you like Marvel to fulfill?

Cinema de Gym: 'Daredevil'

Kurt here. For those of you just tuning in, Cinema de Gym is an experimental series in which I give my two cents on movies that play in an in-house theater at my local gym, where I'm attempting to shed "writer's pounds." Instead of seats, this screening room has treadmills and such, and plays a daily film on a loop. For the first installment, we chatted about Barry Levinson's Bandits. Today, inspired by Nathaniel's "Mutant Week," the subject is Daredevil, the 2003 handicapped-hero flick and the third big comic book movie of the Aughts (following, of course, X-Men and Spider-Man).

This is an easy movie to belittle for a whole mess of reasons. Box office clout be damned, Ben Affleck makes for an unwieldy superhero, especially since he was nowhere near his lean Town physique when this film was shot (directing just literally takes it outta ya, I suppose). That he looked a lot older than 30 at the time certainly didn't help matters, and both age and unwieldiness compounded the secondhand discomfort of that red leather suit, which, frankly, wasn't worth the poor cows' hides.

Then there was the silliness of Colin Farrell's Bullseye who, however well cast, would be one of the first of many counterproductively-comical superbaddies, saddled with meta lines like, "I want a bloody costume."

Farrell as Bullseye, Garner as Elektra

But I hardly count this among the worst of our last decade of superhero cinema, as the subsequent years would give us beauts like Jonah Hex, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer and, oh yes, Elektra. Before the spinoff, I thought Jennifer Garner excelled as Daredevil's sai-wielding vigilantess, balancing sex appeal with girl-next-doorness and fitting much more nicely into her S&M gear than future hubby Ben. She certainly has this movie, not Alias, to thank for her big-screen career.

Moving on, I'm with Roger Ebert in regard to the film's visual f/x, which the uncannily prolific critic championed heartily upon the film's release. In a movie of fickle success, writer/director Mark Steven Johnson – whose own professional fickleness we'll get to in a sec – finds some handsome ways to envision the tricky nature of hero Matt Murdock's powers, which are akin to Sonar in that the blind crime fighter can "see" sound vibrations. Specifically, a scene in which Elektra stands in the rain so Matt can see her face via droplet sound waves is quite purdy, if overtly digital.

Matt Murdock. No relation to Scott Summers.The thing with Cinema de Gym is, I only see 15- to 30-minute snippets of the film in question (depending on the day's endurance level), so I ought to discuss the segment. What I saw of Daredevil was in fact a lot of down time – the slower bits in which Matt chats with his co-worker and Hollywood-prescribed best bud, played by future Iron Man helmer Jon Favreau. Matt, a lawyer, has a built-in taste for justice, but that's not all that interesting. What I liked were curious details about his handicap, like how he folds bills of different denominations in different ways, so as to feel the correct amount. I remembered that part from first viewing, and saw it again in my gym segment.

About Mark Steven Johnson, the guy's got a really odd filmography, penning a grab bag of screenplays and directing a few of them to all-over-the-map results. In the '90s, he wrote the Grumpy Old Men movies, Simon Birch and Jack Frost (the Michael Keaton weepie, not the straight-to-video slasher), then did Daredevil before writing and directing...Ghost Rider and When In Rome.

[Pause] ...whoa.

At a recent party, someone told me he felt Daredevil was the movie that shaped the superhero film as we now know it. I'm not sure about that, but it certainly seems to have been a tipping point for its director.

Conclusions?

1. Ben Affleck is wise to have not returned to comic book cinema (assuming it would have had him back).
2. If nothing else, mediocre superhero movies can lead to loving, lasting Hollywood marriages.
3. Supporting parts in superhero flicks can give actors the comic book director's bug. (Might the long-awaited Wonder Woman be helmed by Thor's Kat Dennings?)
4. I'm suddenly dying to see what Mark Steven Johnson does next, and I imagine he's open to suggestions. The floor is yours, TFE readers.

Curio: Get Your Mutant On

Alexa here.  As far as Marvel superhero gangs go, I find the Avengers more interesting than the X-Men (although this may just be my inner Whedon fangirl panting in anticipation).  But mutants do have their outsider charm, and the 60s period mutants of X-Men: First Class are looking pretty slick (especially the "sullen, bosomy" January Jones). So in honor of mutant week, here is a collection of mutant goodies to satisfy your inner nerd.

Mike Sapienza is selling some sweet X-Men:First Class posters at his shop, in your choice of color.

Vandaleyez has created Women of Marvel-inspired eyeshadow sets! Here is Mystique.

Click for more, including Emma Frost art and Magneto headbands...

Click to read more ...

Box Office: Mutant Powers Revealed!

It's "Mutant Week" -- I'm into weekly themes this summer (any requests?) so deal with it! --  so this post will be illustrated by the previously unrevealed superpowers of famous people.

Like...

The Box Office (Actuals)
Class was in session for select homosuperiors and their homosapien fans this weekend in Westchester New York as Charles Xavier finally opened his School For Gifted Youngsters. But what people were talking about as they left the theater was Michael Fassbender as Magneto. And/or his chemistry with James McAvoy which is quite something. We'll call them "Double Thespian" Their mutant power --wonder twins activate --  is to make you believe that the movie you're watching is twice as good as it actually is!

We're feeling a bit stingy about having to share Fassy with the world now but happy for his success. It will all be worth it if this means he can make as many Fish Tanks and Hungers and Jane Eyres as he wants to, and maybe a few more people will show up to them, now.

01 X-MEN FIRST CLASS new $55.1 [review]
02 THE HANGOVER PT. 2  $31.3 (cumulative $185.8)
03 KUNG FU PANDA 2 $23.8 (cumulative $100)
04 PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES $17.9 (cumulative $190.2) [review]
05 BRIDESMAIDS $12 (cumulative $107.1)
06 THOR $4.2 (cumulative $169.1) [review]
07 FAST FIVE  $3.1 (cumulative $201.9)
08 MIDNIGHT IN PARIS $2.7 (cumulative $6.7)

other new(ish) stuff
13 TREE OF LIFE $618,000 (on 20 screens cumulative $1.2 million)
27 BEGINNERS $135,000 (on 5 screens) [review]
-- SUBMARINE $41,800 (on 4 screens)
-- BEAUTIFUL BOY $16,100 (on 4 screens)

The Talking Points: Woody Allen and Terrence Malick continue to have high per screen averages courtesy of their devoted fanbases and the critically-driven curiousity factor; Bridesmaids, which just crossed the magic $100 million mark, continues to hold steady, while the movies around it plummet 50% or more in attendance each week; Fast Five will lose its #1 movie of '11 bragging rights this week when Pirates surpasses it; Thor recently surpassed the original X-Men (2000) in grosses but it's no longer mighty (losing theaters now) which might leave it stranded ignobly on the Marvel superhero charts as "less" popular than a movie almost everyone hates (X-Men Origins: Wolverine).

What did YOU see over the weekend? Which mutant powers do you think the movie stars currently in theaters have?