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Entries in vampires (56)

Saturday
Jun022012

Twins: "Drunk on brandywine... a thimbleful!"

While we're in Gemini, twins! Daily @ 2:22 pm

Don't be angry with me. When I saw them I knew they were for you. Drunk on brandywine... a thimbleful."

Kirsten Dunst is so thoughtful of her co-stars. She gave Vampire Tom Cruise little boy twins to drink as an apologia for stealing his 1994 would be franchise Interview with the Vampire right out from under his blue veined intensity. 

What a gift. Lestat (Tom) tells little Claudia (Kiki) that she's outdone herself but he doesn't know how right he is...

Click to read more ...

Monday
May212012

Review: "Dark Shadows"

This article was originally published at Towleroad in my weekly column

Chloë Grace Moretz is judging you!

With the world too busy seeing The Avengers (reviewed) for a second time last weekend, Dark Shadows premiered to considerably less fanfare and bank than Tim Burton and Johnny Depp collaborations are generally greeted with. So who will even notice that we're one week late to the ball? Young Carolyn Stoddard (Chloë Grace Moretz) will -- she's so smugly superior -- but she prefers the word "happening". She's quick to school her out-of-time vampire uncle Barnabas Collins (Johnny Depp) that no one throws "balls" anymore.  

Actually, Carolyn, Tim Burton does...

Click to read more ...

Wednesday
May022012

Link Roll Call

Gold Derby has the complete list of MTV Movie Awards. As per usual it's a Harry Potter/Twilight party, crashed this time out by The Hunger Games. So YA.
Movie|Line interviews smashing Mark Ruffalo on playing The Hulk and Dance Dance Revolution with his castmates.
Hero Chan "The Birth of Venus Black Widow"
Incredible Suit massive difference between old and new Spider-Man movies demonstrated
My New Plaid Pants "do dump or marry?" The Royal Tenenbaums edition

Pajiba 10 actors who will never be nominated for Emmy no matter how much they deserve it. 
Guardian because all franchises refuse to die, they're thinking of resurrecting Dracula to star Tom Cruise as Van Helsing. Won't the vampire craze be over by the time they're finished? It has to be on its last legs now.
The Envelope Oscar is staying put in the same theater for another couple of decades. It is "Kodak" no more but now "Dolby" I believe. 
Cracked great behind the scenes photos that break the movie spell
Vulture April's best celebrity portraiture from Michelle Williams to Adepere Oduye
Awards Daily first photos of Nicole Kidman on set of Railway Man. Ugh, I hate when they make my fav goddesses frumpy for movie roles 

Finally, I heart this new poster for Snow White and the Huntsman. Oh please let the evil queen win!

Wednesday
Apr182012

Saoirse Ronan Ruins Lives!

The poster for Saoirse Ronan's latest Byzantium has just been released. It's a vampire movie from Neil Jordan who is no stranger to supernatural beasties (see also: The Company of Wolves, Interview with the Vampire, The Crying Games ... what? There's no other explanation for how indelibly creepy Miranda Richardson is in that movie!)

Question: When will Saoirse Ronan ever be cast as a non-lethal girl again? The ridiculously talented young star (who just turned 18... god, time flies) just keeps playing killers whether literally or metaphorically. Let's review:

Atonement (2007) DESTROYER OF LIVES
The Lovely Bones (2009) DEAD GIRL 
Hanna (2011) ASSASSIN
Violet and Daisy (2011 still awaiting release) ASSASSIN
Byzantium (coming soon) VAMPIRE
Order of the Seven (coming soon... another Snow White movie) WARRIOR 
The Host (coming soon) DANGEROUS POSSESSING ALIEN 
How I Live Now (coming soon) NORMAL GIRL THRUST INTO VIOLENT SURVIVAL MODE

Second generation vampiress Saoirse Ronan in "Byzantium"

I realize she's got those spooky ice blue Pfeifferian eyes -- already well cast as La Pfeiffer's daughter in I Could Never Be Your Woman (one of her only roles without a body count) --  but what is her management thinking? Diversify!

Monday
Apr022012

Linksploitation

Digital Spy Kate Winslet on Titanic then and now "he's fatter now - I'm thinner."
Baltimore Magazine an oral history of Diner (1982) the influential comedy.
Acidemic interesting piece on The Hunger Games as the They Shoot Horses Don't They of 2012
Rope of Silicon Christoph Waltz on the set of Django Unchained. First look at his character's look.
Furious Cinema films that may have influenced Quentin Tarantino's Django Unchained.


The House Next Door 15 Famous Movie Bullies 
Empire new Brave character posters. So much red hair.
Stirred Straight Up... Olivia, Newton, Johns (hee)
Awards Daily Jennifer Lawrence. She's happening.
Cinema Blend Danny Boyle making a short James Bond film with Daniel Craig? Stirring.
Gold Derby Adam Sandler and Adam Sandler and Jack and Jill took all 10 of the Razzie Awards! Clean sweep. 
Guardian a bizarre story of a leprosy joke cut from The Pirates! the new animated movie. 
Pajiba on the casting of Ashton Kutchner as Steve Jobs in a biopic.

The casting is ridiculous. I mean, it’s like Ashton Kutcher playing Steve Jobs: Yes, the most extreme, hyperbolic comparison I can make is THE ACTUAL CASTING.

lmfao.

Finally... enjoy this 5 second delight called "Vampire Bash" by António Silva

Thursday
Mar152012

Yes, No, Maybe So: "Dark Shadows"

I meant to start the Burtonjuice series tonight, a full retrospective of Tim Burton each Thursday night, but that might have to wait one more Thursday. Because we're all Burton'ed out after watching the trailer to Dark Shadows twice in a row to see if it was for real.

Are you for real, trailer?

The trailer runs its mouth but does not answer.

It blabbers, nudges and winks, spreads its finger claws dramatically then goes back to amusing itself. We're glad someone is amused.

So let's break it down with our Yes, No, Maybe So system

YES

  • It does appear that Eva Green is having some fun with her role. Particularly fun is the ass on the piano bit and her deranged in-your-face sexuality.
  • Green reminds me a bit of Lisa Marie here. I know that Tim Burton has long since moved on to Helena Bonham-Carter but don't you kind of miss Lisa Marie? I do.
  • Production Designer Rick Heinrichs is clearly enjoying this Production Designer's Dream Project.

 

Click to read more ...

Friday
Feb102012

Three Terrible Ideas Involving Lesbians, Vampires, and Lennons

Hey, Let's Remake a Hitchcock!
While some of us enjoyed Gus Van Sant's maligned Psycho (1998) experiment in "recreation" (hey, it's more honest than "reboot") -- generally we're forgiving of artistic experiments in comparison to parasitic cash-grabs --  remaking Hitchcock movies is never a good idea in the strictest sense of the word "good". Think of the relief on the internetz when that new version of The Birds didn't take flight. See, Alfred Hitchcock is not like so many great auteurs of yore that today's audiences aren't familiar with. If there is any classic Hollywood director that contemporary mainstream audiences still 'get,' isn't it Hitchcock? The latest of his features someone wants to remake is Rebecca (1940). Maybe there should be a law against remaking Best Picture winners? I do not trust anyone in 2012 with "Mrs. Danvers". Back away from the apparitional lesbians*!

Hey, Let's Keep Making Vampire Pictures!
Doesn't anyone in Hollywood worry about bankrolling trends long past their sell-by date? While it's true that vampires never go completely out of style they do sometimes hibernate, burrowing deep into the ground until they're ready to engage again (a la The Vampire Lestat), in terms of pop culture popularity. So after two plus decades of vampire madness doesn't it seem like that bubble could burst at any moment and someone will lose bazillions of dollars? As far as I can tell 2012 and 2013 are already so stuffed with vampires onscreens both large and small that eventually audiences will be wearing garlic when they approach the TV or multiplex. But they've decided to make another one called Harker in which Jonathan Harker is no longer a Keanu Reeves like lawyer but a Russell Crowe like investigator for Scotland yard.

Hey, Let's Adapt Movies No One Saw Into Broadway Shows That Are About Famous Musicians Whose Songs We Don't Have the Rights To!
Remember that biopic about John Lennon's pre-fame years called Nowhere Boy? It had one of those long torturous 'what year does this film belong to' releases 'round the world but never caught on. It's the film that introduced us to Aaron Johnson (Kick Ass, Albert Nobbs) who we now seem to be stuck with. It also introduced him to director Sam Taylor Wood and they're happily co-habitating and child-rearing three years later. But I'm losing the point. One of the distracting things about the movie, which made narrative but not emotional sense was the absence of Beatles. Now moneyburning people are adapting it into a Broadway musical. Who pray tell would spend $100+ a ticket to see an original musical about the founding members of the Beatles that is not a Beatles jukebox** musical???

*Nick introduced me to the term apparitional lesbians. I'm forever grateful because it's so damn useful. And fun to say. Try it.

** I hate jukebox musicals. I'm not suggesting someone should make one here, just that that's what audiences would want if they went to a show about John Lennon.

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