Ten Reasons Aronofksy Really Left "The Wolverine"

(not really)

By now you've heard the news that Darren Aronofsky has left the director's chair of The Wolverine, leaving Fox and Hugh Jackman scrambling for a new leader. They're going to move aggressively to replace him. Aronofsky cites a year away from home (presumably in Japan) as the reason for his departure. Sad. Just when we had totally acclimated ourselves to the idea of Aronofsky's madness servicing Wolverine's berserker rages, too. Who didn't want to see Hugh Jackman challenged again by an auteur -- and not just to up his protein consumption -- particularly the auteur that wrestled his best performance out of him?

We think there's way more to the story that Aronofsky and Fox just aren't telling. I was talking to Joe about this and perhaps our imaginations are just overactive but wouldn't any studio simply adjust their current plans to accomodate a director who has a proven track record of upping their star's game and of creating amazing visuals with $1.57 in petty cash that outdo their million dollar investments. Plus, Aronofsky is just off a huge surprise worldwide success.

So herewith...

TEN (IMAGINARY) REASONS ARONOFSKY REALLY LEFT WOLVERINE

10. Darren prefers pencil moustaches to mutton chops.

09. Fox demanded a Halle Berry / Storm cameo.

08. Studio objected to scene Darren referred to as "Uncle Hank's Cigar Challenge"

 

07. Fox insisted that Coney Island was not a suitable stand-in for Tokyo exteriors. Not even with CGI embellishments.

06. Fox demanded a Black Swan Reboot option added to Darren's contract.

05. Hugh Jackman refused to allow actual steel blades to be placed in his arms. Wuss. Mickey Rourke was totally okay with the staples!

04. Aronofsky couldn't stop giggling every time "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" was uttered in studio meetings.

03. Wolverine's mutant healing prevented all attempts to dramatize self-mutilation, Aronofsky-style. Aronofsky to Fox: "Booooorrrring!"

02. Fox rejected new costume concept involving Wolverine in a natty scarf.

01. Hugh Jackman wanted Benjamin Milipied to 'choreograph' the fight scenes.

Maybe you can think of more reasons in the comments?

Red Carpet: Jane Eyre... and Sebastian Stan?

Fassy, Mia and Cary Fukunaga at the NYC premiere

I MUST get to this movie this weekend. If Michael Fassbender as Mr Rochester and Mia Wasikowska as Jane Eyre weren't enough impetus, there are the fine reviews to consider, and Cary Fukunaga in the director's chair. (About that expression: How often do directors actually sit down? I always picture them walking around shouting orders and talking with their hands.) His debut feature Sin Nombre suggested that he was one to watch and he'd also have to go on the imaginary Calendar of Hottest Movie Directors ...though that's neither here nor there.

Did you see Jane Eyre (2011) last night or do you have to wait it out a bit? If not, what did you see / are you going to see this weekend?

These celebrities were also at the premiere to soak in the 29th film version of Charlotte Brontë's classic.

I always wonder why certain celebrities show up at certain things. What's the connection here? None of these people were in Cary Fukunaga's movie or this one. But here's what we imagine as connections: Alan Cumming is also, like Fassy, an X-Man, albeit not in the same installment; Debra Winger and Glenn Close came out to present themselves as cautionary tales for Mia, saying 'Gargantuan talent isn't everything. Win your Oscar* early early early or it never comes"; Rose Byrne is Fassbender's co-star in X-Men: First Class and she goes everywhere Glenn Close goes (at least in the public imagination now thanks to Damages); Sebastian Stan just came out to confuse us since he looks like so many other people.

About Sebs, I know it's probably not the role I'm supposed to associate with him but I have fondness because of his amusing Hathaway-Hate in Rachel Getting Married (2008).

Sebastian Stan, Roslyn Ruff and Hathaway in the great "Rachel Getting Married" (2008)

"Walter" just couldn't play nice with others!

His bit in Black Swan was also incisively wrought. Loved that tetchy 'I can't be bothered to disguise my boredom. It's ballet! I'm just here to get laid' look when the ballerina's day jobs came up. Maybe he's a great actor disguised as an interchangeably good-looking up-and-comer? He is from Romania and they do make good cinema. Yeah, yeah, I know he's also on TV but I can't watch everything.

Captain America and Bucky

Is he good on his TV shows? You tell me. We'll see him next as "Bucky" Robin to Captain America: The First Avenger's Batman as it were.

*I've said this before but it's always worth repeating: The Eighties were BRUTAL for great actresses. Isn't it the single decade (post silent films obvs) with the most never-won-the-Oscar important female stars?

Before They Were Mutants

As much as we may lament the all superheroes all the time movie culture (variety is the key to life) this June offering, X-Men First Class, as you know, we're looking forward to. Blame X-fandom and (hopefully) strong casting. So here's McAvoy & Fassy as Professor X and Magn sorry as Charles and Erik.

The New Teaaer Posters

James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender both have movies coming out prior to this one though: McAvoy stars in The Conspirator (April 15th) about the Lincoln Assassination and Fassy stars in Jane Eyre (March 11th) with Mia Wasikowska so perhaps they'll own the spring/early summer.

Before they are mutants. they'll be...

Which incarnation of each of them are you most looking forward to? And which are you previous favorite incarnations?

Podcast: Oscar Switches, Summer Dreams

See?

We are trying to get weekly. We recorded the new podcast early this week (included at the end of this post) as today I knew I would be all wrapped up in a wedding. Well, attending one that is. But you know how time consuming they are. It was a lovely snowy Connecticut wedding and I'm just back. So here is the new podcast. There's a bit of a lull in Oscar happenings as we wait for the big night, so this week, Joe and Katey and I go a little more Off-Gold than usual. 

Topics include:

• Chris Nolan (Inception and a brief Memento cameo)
• The Jesse Eisenberg Show 
• Spirit Award Best Actress ballot. Could there be a Natalie Portman upset?
• The success of the Best Picture field at the box office
• Our individual least favorite Best Picture nominees (surprising results!)
• Toy Story 3. Is it a great movie or just a great 15 year narrative?
• Oscar Narratives. Reading purpose.
• Super 8 and Superbowl trailers
• Crushing on Michael Fassbender
• Nostalgia for Harrison Ford
• Reese Witherspoon: "Think about your choices, lady!"
• Meryl Streep as Margaret Thatcher

Join the conversation in the comments.

Podcast: Oscar Switches, Summer Dreams

Yes, No, Maybe So: "X-Men: First Class"

The trailer has arrived.

Travel back in time with me to the late 70s. Yes, I know the movie we're about to discuss takes place in the early 60s. But I wasn't alive yet and neither were many of you. Wee Nathaniel was alive in the 1970s (shut up!). Jump forward to Christmas 1979. In Nathaniel's Christmas stocking, the greatest gift he'd known until that time: The Uncanny X-Men #129. He tore through the pages, died right on the spot from joy and went to heaven. The End.

The point is this: no matter how many bad superhero movies may come, no matter how glutted the superhero genre becomes at the movies, no matter how many bad X-Movies arrive (Hi, X-Men 3 and X-Men Origins: Wolverine. You suck!) Nathaniel will always be susceptible to Charles Xavier and the School For Gifted Youngsters. He will always hope that the movies will ever capture the magic of those first comic books. He will always be glad that Bryan Singer's X-2 (the second or third best superhero movie ever made) nearly managed it in a few scenes.

To this point the X-Men movie series has ignored The Hellfire Club, who were all introduced in this very (personally sacred) issue that changed my young life. I was a junkie thereafter for mutants, comic books, and spectacularly-bodied superheroines like Storm & Phoenix and spectacularly-bodied ice queens like Emma Frost, The White Queen. Kitty Pryde was also introduced in this movie but she was only 13. (Even then I preferred the older ladies. Storm and Phoenix were probably only 20 or something but to me that was ADULT. anyway.... reign it in. geezus!

This time the movies are going there, Emma Frost (January Jones) and all.

X-Men: First Class trailer and further anxiety after the jump! Wheeeee

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