"Let's Be Expendable," said the Box Office

Amir here, with the weekend’s box office report. The hearts of the old heroes shattered, their muscles shriveled, their skin drooped and the Botox melted. Who would have thought one day the toughest, meanest men in Hollywood would fall to four teenagers; and not just any old group of teenagers, but teenagers from a very slow species. TMNT held on to the top spot as The Expendables 3 opened at fourth place. Equally damning for the action crew is that they fell behind Let’s Be Cops, a remarkably unfortunate title at a time when no one in America wants anything to do with cops.

Damon Wayans Jr and Jake Johnson demonstrating what moviegoers thought of the weekend's new offerings

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE
01 NINJA TURTLES $28.4 (cum. $117.6) Remember the animated feature version?
02 GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY $24.7 (cum. $222.2)  Review
03 LET'S BE COPS $17.7 (cum. $26.1) *new*
04 THE EXPENDABLES 3 $16.2 *new* recommended read
05 THE GIVER $12.7 *new* Review
06 INTO THE STORM $7.7 (cum. $31.3)
07 THE HUNDRED-FOOT JOURNEY $7.1 (cum. $23.6)
08 LUCY $5.3 (cum. $107.5) Podcast
09 STEP UP ALL IN $2.7 (cum. $11.8)
10 BOYHOOD  $2.1 (cum. $13.8)  Review & Podcast
11 HERCULES $2 (cum. $68.1) 
12 GET ON UP $1.9 (cum. $27)  Review

Rounding the weekend’s dull wide releases is The Giver, a film with little to admire but its “cheeseball sincerity.” The Jeff Bridges and Meryl Streep’s vehicle came in at fifth, and completes what is to my memory one of the worst reviewed weekends in recent times. The Rotten Tomatoes average of the three new films stands at a paltry 25 percent and none of these films have generated any enthusiasm from the audiences.

The limited side was similarly dull with Coogan and Brydon’s follow-up to the hilarious The Trip, titled The Trip to Italy (reviewed), falling short of the standard set by its predecessor, Life after Beth continuing the series of films in which Aubrey Plaza’s comic talent goes to waste, and La Jalousie, this week’s only foreign arthouse offering, receiving lukewarm reaction almost a whole year after its Venice debut.

Have you seen any of these films? Any older films you got passionate about watching instead this weekend? Let us know in the comments what you're excited about. 

Podcast Extra: The Trouble with Diane Keaton

In this free flowing conversational extra [23 minutes]  Joe Reid tells Nick, Katey and Nathaniel  about where his devotion to Diane Keaton has taken him: to the "nothing" of And So It Goes (2014). We discuss the dangers of "comfort zones" and working with paychecks.

The conversation drifts to Edge of Tomorrow and Broadway musicals including Into the Woods. But mostly the 1989 & 1990 Oscar ceremonies. We always end up at Oscars. It's a sickness! Name checked in this extra episode: Emily Blunt, John Lithgow, Graham Greene, Michael Douglas, John Lithgow, Annette Bening, The Silence of the Lambs, Reba McEntire, Michelle Pfeiffer, and the musical stylings of Jasmine Guy. 

You can listen at the bottom of the post or wait till it shows up on iTunes (which usually takes about a day). Continue the conversation in the comments. We'd love to hear your comments on how it's going with Diane Keaton and your memories of the 89 and 90 Oscars, should you have any that is.

Articles Referenced: 
Joe & Kevin on Diane Keaton's career, Nathaniel on King Lear, and Nick & Joe's halfway mark capsule brilliance. 

And So It Goes...

9 Days 'til Emmy Awards: Spin Offs & Ideal Hosts

As we approach the Emmy Awards, a little questionnaire silliness. I polled Friends of TFE and the staff, too. 

1. Which character on which show would you kill to see get their own spinoff series?

Joe Reid: That American Horror Story's Myrtyle Snow never got to be a Project Runway judge is the real shame. But if we're talking whole-cloth spinoff, I really honestly think that Mad Men has stopped being able to give to Joan what Joan gives to the show. Watching her navigate the '70s would be amazing.

 Mark Blankenship: Can we please, PLEASE follow the further adventures of Lincoln (Hannibal Buress) from Broad City? Maybe he can open a free dental dental clinic, and every week, we can see his zany adventures with his patients and their jacked up teeth.

Nathaniel R: I'd follow anyone from Mad Men through the 1970s... and I do mean anyone but I want to focus on shows that are so rich that even the outer periphery characters are awesome so can I pitch shows for?: Nurse Jackie's slutty new drug dealer (Michael Esper); Dawn & Shirley (Teyonnah Paris & Sola Bamis), the new secretaries of Mad Men; that gay hooker from Masters of Sex (Finn Wittrock); Archer's cyborg lovers Katya & Barry

Anne Marie: Freddy from House of Cards gets his own show where he turns his hole-in-the-wall restaurant into a food empire by taking advantage of the shady political maneuvering he's overheard for the last decade.

Jose: Anyone from The Big Bang Theory...oh sorry, I stopped reading after you said "kill". 

Dancin' Dan: All I want for Christmas is "The Taystee and Poussey Make Fun Of White People Show".

How many binge-watching hours would you give that one?

2. Which reality host would you choose to host your real life?

Mark Blankenship: Tim Gunn. Obviously. Because he'd be proud of me if I put together a good look for brunch.

Anne Marie: Betty. Freaking. White.

Nathaniel R: Heidi Klum... but only if she invites me to her annual Halloween bash.

Joe Reid:  This is not a question. This does not need more than a half-second's worth of thought. Cat Deeley now. Cat Deeley tomorrow. Cat Deeley forever.

YOUR TURN... who would host your life and which minor or central characters would you gladly follow up into their own spinoff series?

"Sing out (Madonna), Louise!"

A happy 56th birthday to the Queen Herself. I was out for drinks with two friends the other night (Hi, Sue & Jordan!) and somehow the conversation turned to Madonna -- I can't remember how it got there -- and the Best Actress for Evita Golden Globe was discussed. 'Her one shot at an Oscar' ...but then of course she wasn't nominated. (1996 was an overstuffed year in Best Actress of course but even if it hadn't been, The Academy probably would have resisted.) But of course it wasn't her only shot at Oscar. They've snubbed her repeatedly in that Best Original Song category though two songs she sang but didn't write won the actual gold man ("Sooner or Later" from Dick Tracy by Stephen Sondheim and "You Must Love Me" from Evita by Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd Webber). 

Her original songs from the movies in preference order:

1. "Into the Groove" for Desperately Seeking Susan (1985) 
2. "Live To Tell" for At Close Range (1986)
   I'm not sure if this was officially disqualified but it would have been for the same reason as the infamous rejection of "Come What May" from Moulin Rouge! (It was written for another film altogether but switched movies) 
3. "Crazy For You" for Vision Quest (1985)
4. "Die Another Day" for Die Another Day (2002) - Golden Globe nod
5. "Beautiful Stranger" for Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999) - Golden Globe nod
6. "Who's That Girl" for Who's That Girl (1987) - Golden Globe & Grammy nods
7. "This Used To Be My Playground" for A League of Their Own (1992) - Golden Globe nod
8. "I'll Remember" for With Honors (1994) - Golden Globe & Grammy nods 
9. "Causing a Commotion" for Who's That Girl (1987)
10. "Masterpiece" for W.E. (2012) - Globe win
    disqualified from Oscar - too late in the end credits 

And I don't even want to talk about Truth or Dare (1991) not winning a Best Documentary nomination when it's one of the best docs ever made... or at least in the top 5 most entertaining. And while we're Oscar dissing, how is it that Stephen Sondheim's rousing "More" from Dick Tracy missed a nomination? Did they only submit the one song or was it the way Warren Beatty edited its production number to smithereens so there was barely any of it there -- one of the weirdest directorial decisions ever when there was clearly a big festive Madonna/Sondheim production number filmed?

Madonna having a bit of a Joan Crawford moment in her recent "Revolution of Love" short film which I'll admit I didn't 'get' at all. Rare for me with a Madonna project.

Madonna's dreams to become "A Real Actress" (I love that she has a Moulin Rouge! "Satine" connection!) seem to have ended at the same time her marriage to Guy Ritchie wrapped and the only movies she's made since have been behind the camera with Filth & Wisdom and W.E. But she'll always have the music. If you haven't yet read it you should check out this excellent essay from Savage Garden's Darren Hayes on 'why the world needs another brilliant Madonna album'. And hat tip to Erik at Awards Watch (who've been holding a Madonna Week) for pointing that one out. I hope she writes a killer song for a movie again soon, a song so strong that it would be shameful for the Academy to ignore. 

Review: The Giver

Hey, folks. Michael Cusumano here fresh from having Jeff Bridges impart the wonders of humanity directly into my brain.

It’s an amusing irony that Phillip Noyce’s film of Lois Lowry’s beloved middle-school staple The Giver feels like an afterthought following the recent glut of Young Adult adaptations. It was Lowry’s vision of dystopia which helped launch the army of teenage Chosen Ones currently clogging multiplexes nationwide. Now, not only is The Giver late to the party, but the richly imagined worlds of Lowry’s literary descendants have left her story feeling undercooked. I can’t imagine teenage audiences who have spent the past few years steeped in the sprawling, detailed insanity of Suzanne Collins’ Hunger Games books will be rapt with attention watching Jeff Bridges shambling around his library, triggering the occasional lame stock footage montage meant to portray humanity in all its myriad wonders.

Noyce’s film version might have had a fighting shot if it had tapped into the elemental power of the story’s spare allegory, but alas, even with a plotline of this simplicity, The Giver can’t make the pieces fit. The logic begins to fall apart right from the opening narration. We are told that this is a society where all the highs and lows of humanity have been wiped away and people live in a serene state of medicated blankness. Everyone strolls around grinning like they lost a fight with a body snatcher. We meet our hero Jonas (Brenton Thwaites, a monument to blandness) on the day of the great Ceremony where he and his two equally personality-free friends are to receive their lifetime job assignments. Yet no sooner does the narration tell us that this world is free from competition and envy than we hear the trio chatting about how they hope they get a great job, crossing their fingers that they don’t get put on the janitorial staff. Correct me if I’m wrong, but wouldn’t this indicate that they are A) competitive and B) envious.

Get used to this confusion...

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