An Epic Link Roundup

We haven't gathered links in a few days so we're way behind on news and such. Here's a few handfuls for ya...

Must Read
The Wire David Sims measures the cast of Expendables 3 by every conceivable metric
Decider Tyler Coates on Holly Hunter's polka dot dress in Broadcast News 
The Hairpin 'The only Throwback Thursday that matters.' Amen 

Other Goodies
Balder & Dash Teo Bugbee has a massive two part essay on the films of the Coen Bros for your reading pleasure
IndieWire interviews Michael Fassbender and gets him to say "size doesn't matter" -ha!

Comics Alliance "Thanos is really bad at being a supervillain" - I thought I was insane when GotG premiered and everyone was endlessly raving. How do you rave about a heroes movie when the villains suck? I've noticed more and more people are complaining about Marvel's shitty track record with the baddies. Hopefully they can course correct. People won't put up with bad villains forever
The Credits how do you film in torrential downpours and 100 mph winds? The cinematography of Into the Storm had to

Newsy
Empire Tom Hiddleston wanted for Ben-Hur remake
TMZ Reese Witherspoon dances to I Will Survive
Empire apparently Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is back on (here we go again) and trying to cast... Lily James & Jack Huston anyone?
Variety Michael Fassbender and Rachel Weisz will costar in The Light Between Oceans, a period drama from the director of Blue Valentine. Interesting pairing, right?
THR Patti LaBelle joining American Horror Story
E! Online by now you've heard Emma Stone is going to put on Sally Bowles garters on Broadway...
The Film Stage first stills for some hotly anticipated movies in the new Entertainment Weekly. Check out this great grabby alternate cover image...

And Still More...
The Dissolve Marvel is moving forward with The Inhumans. The only one of them I ever cared about was 'Medusa' but since this is Marvel I expect she'll be a minor character... and the only token 'girl' 
Gawker Anna Kendrick is dating Theon Greyjoy! UPDATE: This was a false alarm
THR Aquaman might happen as a standalone movie. Two screenplays are being written 

WTF
Boy Culture did you know that Teen Wolf Tyler Posey was JLo's son in Maid in Manhattan? 
MNPP I heart "especially random nonsense"
Buzzfeed Jason Statham once appeared in an Erasure video painted silver! Another thing I did not know but should have

Still Mourning
Guardian sassy smart Lauren Bacall's best quotes
Variety Lauren Bacall's greatest role: Herself
Variety The Academy's Robin Williams "Genie, you're free" has come under criticism from suicide prevention groups. I can actually see why. I found it a strange sentiment 
Sheila O'Malley on Robin Williams (RIP)
By Ken Levine remembers Robin Williams 
The Wrap a cast member of Hook remembers Robin Williams 
TV|Line Robin's wife reveals that he was in the early stages of Parkinson's disease which he had not yet disclosed publicly 

Bloggy Action: Sea of Linkage

MNPP Gratuitous Douglas Booth, your new Romeo (of the forthcoming Romeo and Juliet)
PopWatch cute comic strips on the making of Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters
In Contention a new possible awards player this November: The Book Thief, a Holocaust drama with Emily Watson and Geoffrey Rush
Natasha VC likes plus size Twilight art
Comic Book Movie even though I'm sick of the X-Men, I keep posting about the new stills. It's a sickness! I blame Hugh Jackman who looks pretty great in 70s pants. 

Pajiba shares a sweet vid of Idina Menzel & Taye Diggs singing a Wicked tune for fans while trying not to wake the baby. I've never liked Idina more!
/Film on the Orca doc Blackfish and the trouble it's causing the Nemo sequel Finding Dory
Towleroad Laverne Cox speaks out about her life as a transactress on Orange is the New Black 

Weekend Must Read
Film School Rejects "But why can't I urinate in my seat at the movies?" Scott Beggs one-ups the Onion with this hilarious self-righteous bit o' satire about the collapsing social etiquette of moviegoing. Everyone I know was tweeting this the past couple of days and with good reason. If by chance you haven't read it, go now.

Broken Record
Cinema Blend on the cast of Expendables 3. I don't understand big movie site headlines anymore. First "exclusive" lost all its meaning. Now "Confirmed". The title reads that Mel Gibson is confirmed and the text says he is "in talks". These are not the same things.

Anyway, I won't be interested in this franchise until they include more women or start mixing it up director-wise like the James Bond films for some extra flair. Many people are quick to say that there just aren't that many female action stars but these manys are just not paying attention. There are plenty who are in the huge age range these movies employ (anywhere between 23 and 67!!!) and who have fuller or more accomplished action roles than, say, Kellan Lutz (who will be in film 3) or Liam Hemsworth (who was in film 2). We did a Cast This once about this and the possibilities are endless: Pam Grier, Carrie-Anne Moss, Uma Thurman, Sandahl Bergman, Daryl Hannah, Michelle Yeoh, Linda Hamilton, Brigitte Nielsen, Milla Jovovich, Lucy Liu, Rebecca Romijn. You could go on and on. My dream cast would also include statuesque Sandahl Bergman (Conan The Barbarian, All That Jazz, numerous B movies) since I'm betting you she can still high-kick at 62 (dancers' bodies, y'know) and she hasn't acted in a really long time.

"Cast This!" Box Office Special: Female Expendables?

Sylvester Stallone and his team of aged action heroes ruled the box office with their high-octane throwback The Expendables 2. The title is perfect because it's the kind of disposable flick you can imagine people watching half-assed for years on end on cable while eating, cleaning, making phone calls, taking a sick day, you name it.

Top o' the Box Office *newbies in bold*
01 THE EXPENDABLES 2 $28.7 
02 THE BOURNE LEGACY $17 (cum $69.5)
03 PARANORMAN $14 
04 THE CAMPAIGN $11.8 (cum. $51.6)
05 SPARKLE $12 ...more on this one soon 
06 DARK KNIGHT RISES $12 (Cum. $409.9) Review
07 THE ODD LIFE OF TIMOTHY GREEN $10.9 

The Expendables franchise is weirdly sexist -- how can you have like a dozen action stars per movie (*stars* being a smudgey concept here once you're past the one name icons), many of them past their prime, and never include any of the women who've led or played a major hand in action hits in any decade? Yes, they exist! Word is out that the producers are planning on backing a female heavy edition of the franchise, a spin-off if you will. Why we're not allowed to have a co-ed Expendables I do not know. 

But let's help the producers out by casting it for them in the comments.
I'll start right here with six must-haves from Nathaniel's Crowded Actressexual Brain

• Sigourney Weaver -- seriously, if she's not already at the tippity top of the "throw money at her" list, they're imbeciles.
• Michelle Yeoh -- always riveting when she fights and a damn good actress, too.
• Linda Hamilton - Duh! Even her name is tough.
• Milla Jovovich - knows her away around an action scene and will get naked for your R rating
• Daryl Hannah - because she's an awesomely imposing amazon (think Blade Runner and Kill Bill) and doesn't get nearly enough work 
• Pam Grier - because think of the fun they could have referencing her fame-making work. Razors in an afro please! 

Once I got started I couldn't stop. I literally thought of 22 more actresses who would be perfect while collecting these photos -- like give me a scene of Run Franka Potente Run. Even if it's just a cameo! -- including recent action divas like Léa Seydoux (so very hawt in Mission: Impossible -Ghost Protocol or Kate Beckinsale (fresh in the brain on account of Total Recall).

But I don't want to hog all the fun. Which actresses would you line up to see in a huge dumb explosive ensemble actioner? Give me at least six of your favorite options, preferrably ten, ranked, in the comments. Maybe we'll revisit this once we have all your lists.

Ready... set... GO!

Yes, No, Maybe So In a Man's Man's Man's Man's World

Trying to catch up here so herewith, a quartet of big groups of male actors committing daring crimes/heroics in two minutes flat so that you can see the best parts* of the movies for free. 

*that's how it works, right?

We'll break Argo, Expendables 2, Lawless and Ganster Squad down into quick threes via our infallible Yes No Maybe So™ system after the jump.

Click to read more ...