Top Ten: Song Titles That Should Be Movies

This week's top ten list is dedicated to James T, one of my fav readers and twitterers, who asked me some time ago to "pick song titles that you'd have liked to be the titles of movies that should exist." I couldn't resist the odd wildly random challenge and given that I recently hosted a karaoke party (don't ask) I'm in the mood. So here goes...This list was actually hard to make because so many songs -- even great ones -- have totally generic titles.  

TEN SONGS TITLES THAT I TOTALLY WISH WERE MOVIES

Next year can we have Fiona Apple title all the movies that come out?

Runners up: ""Extraordinary Machine, Hot Knife" or any of her album titles -Fiona Apple... and can we talk her into trying acting?, "Please Don't Make Me Too Happy" - Christine Lavin, "Backwoods Barbie" - Dolly Parton cuz she loves to write about herself so why not a fun biopic?

10 "Do You Wanna Funk" -Sylvester
And can it be a serious yet fun movie about discos and clubbing in the 1970s?  54 was so lame.

09 "Call Me Maybe" - Carly Rae Jepsen
But only if it's a romantic comedy that comes out in 2013 (like, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun would be a stupid title for a movie now but it was just right back in 1985!) . And yes I sang this at karaoke. Don't judge.

MORE AFTER THE JUMP

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Unmissables I Nearly Missed on Vacation

Nathaniel, here, returning to home base. I'm baaaa--aack. Did you miss me? I shan't take another day off until late October so I'm all yours again! But before we get started again, hugs and kisses and floral bouquets and firm handshakes to Leslye, Melanie, Beau, Jose, JA and Matt for filling in for the week.

The internet moves with such speed -- except while visiting relatives in internet challenged rural Utah -- that if you're gone for a week you can totally miss seismic events. Here are some webthingies I'm so so glad people alerted me to so that I didn't miss them in my spotty connectivity travels. I'm sharing them on the off chance you missed them. No one should have to!

Revenge came out on DVD! - a magical elf in PR made sure I received mine. Thanks you! The cover of the Season 1 box is Emily in her promotional thematic thorn dress but we all know the true magic of the best nighttime soap in decades and decades is Madeleine Stowe's icy glares... deadlier than any thorns have ever been! If you have any love for Stowe's early 90s heyday (Short Cuts, Mohicans, Blink - holla!) or the art of the prime time soap opera, you owe yourself this series. The first handful of episodes are a bit too procedural repetitive for me but once the gears catch... oh my diva, this is an addictive series. Madeleine Stowe for the Emmy! Damn. She wasn't even nominated. #unforgivable. 

Cooler Cinema on the Sight & Sound List - This handwringing discussion of critical failure online is yet another example that that S&S List is proving to have an unusual shelf life in terms of continually trending topics. While it reads a bit to me like too much complaining about the lack of "instant classics" on the list -- I'm personally glad that canon lists focus on the past as that's what canons are for, to give you a foundation of cultural literacy rather than pat you on the back for your pleasure in the world's current favorites -- there's much food for thought here.

AO Scott's Review of The Oogieloves and the Big Balloon Adventure - Speaking of instant classics -- this review! The punchline is The. Best.

Karen O's Best Original Song Contender "Strange Love" - If Tim Burton's animated expansion of his early short Frankenweenie is as weird/cute/fresh, he might really have something. As usual Rich Juzwiak says it best:

I don't know whether Karen has lost her edge or merely child-proofed it, but the song is pretty fucking adorable.

David Fincher: A Film Title Retrospective - his films always have great credit sequences, don't they? This interview and wonderful quote only add to their appeal.

I don’t know how much movies should entertain. I’m interested in movies that scar.

Finally... two things I forgot to write about that I had totally planned to before I left. 

I had the scoop on the Before Sunset sequel prior to anyone in the States and I stupidly forgot to post anything in my rush to pack and fly (Sorry Manolis!) so The Playlist got their first. Good on them. Word is Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke are already filming their third romantic duet and Before Midnight might be the title. I love that series so much. If it's as good as Before Sunset several cinephiles could well experience the rapture and vanish from the Earth.

Finally Finally there's one more week left in a peculiar challenge set by Lars von Trier who is asking young filmmakers to choose from one of six masterpieces

• James Joyce's work Ulysses
• August Strindberg's famous play The Father
• The Zeppelinfield in Nuremberg, created by Hitler's main architect Albert Speer.
• Paul Gaugin's painting Where do we come from? Who are we? Where are we going? 
• French composer César Franck's improvisations. 
• Sammy Davis Jr. (in general)

...and create a short film inspired by it but NOT too obviously/directly. A collaborative film will be built around the submissions by female director Jenle Hallund in a project they're calling Gesamt. Sounds interesting/weird/Five Obstructions Von Trier'ish. If you're all "why didn't you tell me this two weeks ago, Nathaniel ?!? I could have created a masterpiece" just think of yourself as a reality TV show contestant. They never give them any time to speak of and they manage. Create quickly by the seat of your pants. Create all the (possible) way into Danish film history.

Gene Kelly (& My 50 Favorite Actors)

Happy Centennial to Gene Kelly (and all film fans who love him)!

100 years ago on this very day Eugene Curran Kelly was born in Pittsburgh. His mom pushed him into dance class but he didn't commit to becoming a dancer until the age of 15. At 29 fame hit with Broadway's "Pal Joey." Almost immediately thereafter he accidentally (or at least halfheartedly since he intended to return to stage) lept from the stage to the screen and stayed, starting with a co-starring role in For Me and My Gal (1942, previously covered -- he credits Judy Garland with teaching him how to act for cameras). Kelly remains the best silver screen song & dance man of all time (sorry Astaire!) and since musicals are the perfect genre, making full use of every tool available to filmmakers aurally and visually, he also happens to be one of my ten favorite movie stars ever of either gender. I'd hoped to celebrate Kelly all month long but time gets away from you in the dog days of summer. Ah well, at least we had Singin' in the Rain (1952)!!!

So herewith a quick semi-revised list...

Nathaniel's 50 Favorite Male Movie Stars of All Time

Tier 1 - Yin and Yang
neither my life nor the movies would be complete without them
MONTGOMERY CLIFT
GENE KELLY

48 more after the jump

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Personal Canon #99: XANADU (1980)

From now until the end of August we'll be celebrating Gene Kelly for his Centennial (August 23rd to be exact) so let's revisit Xanadu, which opened 32 years ago last night! It's a member of my Personal Canon... also known as "The movies I think about when I think about the movies"

"A Movie That Nobody Dares To Love"

A Broadway version of this 1980 classic opened on Broadway a few years back marking yet another jokey acknowledgement of Xanadu's kitsch value. It was high timeto rediscover the film in all of its enduring time-capsule glory. For Xanadu, you see, is not the tongue-in-cheek comedy that it was reworked as. It's a completely sincere endeavor and, I'd argue, endearingly so. It's not one of those films that are so intentionally bad that it's subversively excellent (see: Showgirls). No, Xanadu is the real deal: a straight-faced musical. It just had the terrible misfortune to celebrate a number of things that would be out of style almost immediately thereafter: roller rinks, disco, legwarmers, greek mythology, album covers … and Olivia Newton-John.

The album art within "Xanadu" though not the movie's soundtrack album coverIt's easy to dismiss Xanadu for the very things it shamelessly loves but it's a shame to dismiss the shameless if they're also compulsively watchable. What other movie gives you a glimpse into the lost profession of album cover illustration? None that I know of. In what other movie will you see Greek muses come to life from a painting on a brick wall? Even Clash of the Titans didn't have that. What other movie has the wacky chutzpah to give you a pop star as A list as Olivia Newton-John (she is strangely disregarded now but don't be fooled: she was an enormous star with dozens of hit songs) and put her on rollerskates and in only one outfit for almost an entire film?

MORE...

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Please Please Please Let Me Link What I Want

PopBytes gives Kristen Stewart advice re: her custody battle with Robert Pattinson (they share a beautiful dog)
Kirsten Dunst shares Garrett Hedlund tempting a squirrel with his nuts! (We used to do this as a little kid -- until my sister got bit!)
My New Plaid Pants remembers delicious latent homo Michael Biehn in The Fan. The internet is a wonderful time-free zone where people can obsess on Biehn like it's 1982 whenever they damn well want!
Gawker on Demi Moore's long cinematic rough patch 
The Playlist Nicole Kidman will play a small role in Lars von Trier's pornographic The Nymphomaniac (2013). Oh how I love them both. Please please please let this be as good as The Idiots.

Stale Popcorn Glenn reviews Cosmopolis and Step Up Revolution together because, duh, obvious double feature
i09 has the greatest unintentionally funny lines in genre films/tv. Love #8 and #1 so much. 
In Contention Spike Lee to be honored in Venice
NY Times profiles the rising Ukrainian boy band of sorts, Kazaky, featured in Madonna's "Girl Gone Wild" video 
Vanity Fair gives Olympian Ryan Lochte the Ryan Gosling 'Hey Girl' treatment 
Slate Dana Stevens embraces her inner punk rocker while staring at the Sight & Sound List 
Movie|Line I'm a bit confused by this article about Elizabeth Olson praising 50 Shades of Grey but then "no, no, no" about starring in it. I think we're missing a quote or a follow up question from the reporter!
Comic Book Movie Hugh Jackman on set as The Wolverine. Please please please let these be better than X-Men Origins: Wolv --oh never mind. It would be nigh impossible to be worse!

Finally... I think it's worth noting as a die hard fan of Bring It On (2000) -- which made my top ten list in its year and which I do not, in any way, consider a "guilty" pleasure, just a pleasure full stop --  that the stage musical version is upon us. My friend Tom liked it which gives me hope but I'm still leery. Screen to stage transfers are often very problematic and weirdly the number one thing they seem to get wrong seems very basic to me; super short scenes, of which movies are typically composed, are fussy and distracting on stage especially if they're constantly making adjustments to the sets or trying to keep up the manic visual pace of movies. Too many stage musicals pretend that you can just act the movie out on the stage but that's absolutely the worst way to go. I'm also worried because Bring It On's deserved reputation as one of the best high school comedies and best girly comedies has been utterly tarnished by a lengthy string of straight-up-terrible straight-to-video "sequels".

If any of you have seen it in previews, do share your reactions. Should I go?