Cast This! "Witches of Eastwick" Redux

So my Witches of Eastwick 25th anniversary celebration was not at all as comprehensive as I hoped for it to be but we need to wrap up. We barely talked about the three divas at all! (Sigh). As exit music, let's chatter about casting a sequel. If you'll recall Alexandra (Cher), Jane (Susan Sarandon) and Sukie (La Pfeiffer) each had a bouncing baby (half-demon?) boy at the end of the movie, sired by that devil Jack Nicholson himself. He was still trying to share custody (through the television screen) but the witches were wise to him.

I thought about asking you to cast a reboot but why replace that irreplaceable actress trinity?

Let's cast a sequel and bring all three of the goddesses back. Who should play the three sons all grown up in a sequel? You'll need three 25-34ish guys who would look great as a ginger, blonde, brunette trio and also have a little of their moms in them, whether that's visually or personality wise.

YOUR CHALLENGE: Cast the three sons and three young demonic succubi temptresses that try to lure them back to their Daddy. Since movies are always making gorgeous women of a certain age into the devil (hi Snow White and the Huntsman) in order to glorify youth, for bonus points tell us how Cher, Sarandon and Pfeiffer defeat the young (evil) beauties. 

I may even give prizes to the best answer this time. You've got six character spells to cast. GO! 

"Witches of Eastwick" Week!

Starts now!  Happy 25th Anniversary to The Witches of Eastwick (1987). Normal blogging will run concurrently but we'll pop on over to that supernatural New England town at least once a day this week. We'll discuss the famous vomiting scene, Michelle Pfeiffer's fruitful loins, Cher's sculptures and more. We'll also look for fun Witches-related articles online this week to share. 

But first... FUN FACTS

Title: The Witches of Eastwick (1987)
Director: George Miller of Mad Max fame. He directed every feature in that franchise and will also direct the reboot Mad Max: Fury Road to star Tom Hardy and Charlize Theron.
Release Date: June 12th, 1987
Based on: the novel of the same name by John Updike. I haven't read it but from my understanding it isn't what you'd call a "faithful" adaptation.
Legacy: The Witches of Eastwick has since been adapted into a television series a remarkable three times (only one version went to series, though) as well as a stage musical.
Movie's Running Time: 118 Minutes
Star Billing Hierarchy:

1. Jack Nicholson
   [TITLE]
2. Cher
3. Susan Sarandon
4. Michelle Pfeiffer
   [CO-STARRING] 
5. Veronica Cartwright
6. Richard Jenkins | Keith Jochim [shared title card]
7. "And Carel Struycken as Fidel"

Switcheroo: Cher's "Alexandra" role was supposed to be Susan Sarandon's and it was given to Cher without Sarandon's knowledge prior to shooting, leaving Sarandon with "Jane" instead. Sarandon was initially angry and coverage at the time suggested a very tense set. Yet Sarandon was the only Eastwick star to work with Miller again; they reteamed 5 years later for Lorenzo's Oil which won Susan her third Best Actress Oscar nomination.
Box Office: The tenth highest grossing film of 1987, just ahead of Dirty Dancing (Nobody puts These witches put Baby in a corner!)  Just below Lethal Weapon. i.e. as popular in its year as, like, Thor or Rise of the Planet of the Apes last year. It's the 2nd biggest hit movie about witches ever behind only The Blair Witch Project (1999).
Box Office Rank For Each Star's Whole Career: Jack's tenth biggest hit, Cher's second biggest hit (Moonstruck in the same year being #1), Sarandon & Pfeiffer's 5th biggest hit.

Are you ready, ladies?"

Oscar attention: 2 nominations for Score (John Williams) and Sound. Cher won the Oscar for Moonstruck released six months later and this movie couldn't have hurt; it was Her Year as they say (two #1 movies and a new platinum comeback album inbetween them titled simply "Cher")
Oscar-less: Only LaPfeiffer is Oscar-less now of the principal quartet.
Acting Kudos: Jack Nicholson took home Best Actor from the twin towers of critics awards: LAFCA and NYFCC (shared with Ironweed for which he was Oscar nominated). Nicholson, Sarandon and Cartwright all won Saturn Award nominations, too. Oddly there was zero attention from the Golden Globes despite the film being a hit prestige all star Comedy aimed at adult audiences.

Name your favorite personal "fact" about this movie in the comments. When did you first see it?

Complete the Magical Sentences.

Wicked Witch hat (1939)My favorite evil witch is _________________  because ______________ . My favorite use of dark magic in a movie is when __________________________ . 

My favorite fairytale princess is ______________ though I wish ____________ .

Tues Top Ten: Tennis in the Movies

The world's number one ranked male tennis player turns a quarter century today so in honor of Novak Djokovic why not celebrate with a list of best tennis moments in the movies?

Because... uh...

Are there any? When I first thought of doing this list I was like YES -- little known fact: I played tennis daily one summer in high school and still love the game  -- only to hit a brick wall rather than a low net. You may have heard this complaint before from tennis fans but given the abundance of sports movies of every other stripe it's almost like Hollywood hates the game. Those private tennis courts on celebrity acreage are all going to waste.

I've come up with ten things anyway.

BEST TENNIS SOMETHING OR OTHER IN THE MOVIES

You should know upfront that I've never seen the Chad Lowe boy-in-drag masterpiece Nobody's Perfect (1989) -- no decade ever loved cross-dressing comedies like the 80s -- so I shan't include it. 

10 Wimbledon (2004)
Nobody likes this movie but given the abrupt sharp decline in romantic comedy quality over the past ten years, I bet it'd look pretty good if it came out now. At the very least both Paul Bettany and Kirsten Dunst looked fresh and healthy and sun-kissed as the professional athletes in love.

09 The Witches of Eastwick (1987)
We'll be sure to celebrate this movie's 25th anniversary next month but for now, remember that tennis match? Temperatures are flaring as the three best friends Jane (Susan Sarandon) Sukie (Michelle Pfeiffer) and Alex (Cher) all compete for Devil Jack Nicholson's attention. In a game of doubles things get vindicative and then supernatural.

 

Funny girls and dangerous men after the jump...

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Review: "Dark Shadows"

This article was originally published at Towleroad in my weekly column

Chloë Grace Moretz is judging you!

With the world too busy seeing The Avengers (reviewed) for a second time last weekend, Dark Shadows premiered to considerably less fanfare and bank than Tim Burton and Johnny Depp collaborations are generally greeted with. So who will even notice that we're one week late to the ball? Young Carolyn Stoddard (Chloë Grace Moretz) will -- she's so smugly superior -- but she prefers the word "happening". She's quick to school her out-of-time vampire uncle Barnabas Collins (Johnny Depp) that no one throws "balls" anymore.  

Actually, Carolyn, Tim Burton does...

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