Penny Dreadful and Other (NSFW) Randomness

My mood of late has been 'fourgy with the cast of Ex Machina' That cast! Or at least a private moment with Oscar Isaac. When I'm not thinking of that movie I am thinking of The Avengers and when someone tweeted "Ava > Ultron" I immediately pictured a full two hour mash-up of those titles in which Alicia Vikander with all her little subtle whirring process noises seduces Scarlet Johansson in black leather and Mark Ruffalo in green muscles and Paul Bettany in fresh synthetic body and now I need a cold shower. My point is this: The Lusty Month of May is upon us.

In keeping with that mood, let's talk about the Penny Dreadful premiere tonight and 5 other not safe for work things after the jump...

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The Story of My Link

Regan Writes has a great recap of RuPaul's Drag Race's upsetting episode this week (Trixie Mattel - Nooooooooo) and since I haven't been covering it, read this instead
The Vagenda on why we need to stop asking celebrities "are you a feminist?"
Dissolve EXCITING news. Gillian Flynn, who did such an Oscar nomination worthy job of screenwriting her own novel (stupid Academy!) will be co-writing Steve McQueen's next movie. That's a team with potential.
Pajiba awesome Gillian Anderson is on the market, ready for "the one" (gender irrelevant)

I turned down one of the big young adult franchises. I know the guy who took the part is buying his Hollywood mansion in the hills now, that he has secure work for three years. But you have to work yourself into a place where you’re respected
-Douglas Booth 

The Guardian has a good interview with the full lipped, exquisitely jawed Douglas Booth (who doesn't like that people talking about his looks so much... awww, be grateful for them, man. It's how you get/got in the door) who says he's choosing his films based almost solely on who is in the director's chair. 
CHUD the creative team behind 50 Shades of Grey are dropping like flies for the sequels. And the stars want raises and the producers aren't budging. What the hell is going on? Just pay them. They helped make it a hit. Greed sure can ruin a good thing. Or in this case a dumb thing.
Coming Soon Julia Louis-Dreyfus is considering the American remake of Force Majeure. She'd be great but why is no one considering not remaking it? 
Lainey Gossip I don't normally share (or even pay much attention to) gossip stuff but apparently Jeremy Renner is getting divorced and it's already quite messy
Yahoo! Movies an oral history of Desperately Seeking Susan (1985), now thirty years old (gulp). Great quotes 
Towleroad Tom Ford is looking at Amy Adams, George Clooney, and Jake Gyllenhaal for his new film Nocturnal Animals. Way to be original with your casting he said facetiously

Franchise Madness. The End is Nigh
i09 Transformers is aiming to become a "connected universe" a la Marvel movies. The end is truly nigh. If all movies want to be is ongoing big budget television series, what's the point of having them? Just watch more tv.
AV Club looks at the latest tv spot for Terminator Genisys. Yes, I know this one's got both old and young Ahnuld but without James Cameron & Linda Hamilton who cares? Time to move on.
/Film apparently they're also starting over with The Smurfs for 2017. 

Almodóvar with his new star Emma Suarez, in preproduction of "Silencio"

Spanish Wonders
El Pais talks about the new Pedro Almodóvar movie (called Silencio)
El Pais also profiles the two actresses who star Emma Suárez & Adrian Ugarte neither of whom have worked with Pedro before. I know he said none of his normal women work work for this one (and he has quite a large repertory company now essentially) so I thought we'd be seeing totally different looks or body types but no. So now I'm curious as to why he didn't stick with his regulars. I suppose we shall see.
El Confidencial first images from Penélope Cruz's new film ma ma (about a teacher diagnosed with breast cancer). I miss her so much! She vanished once she had that baby

Today's Long Read
"How One Direction Helped Me Find My Girls" - this article on buzzfeed is about refusing to feel guilty for the things you love. While I've personally never understood boy band obsessions I get obsessive fandom because I relate... only with actresses and film directors. While I can't say I agree with every word therein -- I don't think all fandom is good for people (sometimes it's just about conformity and not seeking you own aesthetic interests) and I was quite disturbed by one drawing that says "Remember nobody's feelings are more important than your own" because that is a straight up terrible thing to teach people (other people's feelings are very much important and we need to respect them and be generous and kind to each other) but the central premise that boy band obsessions are deemed silly because they are also considered feminine is spot on truth. The writer wisely condemns the double standard: adult men are encouraged to go bonkers over everything to do with whatever sports teams they follow as well as superhero movies but women are deemed silly if they partake in more "girlish" fandoms like boy bands or YA novels.

Tweets o' The Week Victory Lap

This week's Tweet Collection is short and completely random. I haven't been goofing around online as much what with the countdown to Oscar on. The finish line is upon us. And, just my luck, I got super sick yesterday so there goes a few more treats I had planned for you and I may be Oscar blogging surrounded by pillows and kleenex! Good times.

Anyway here are a dozen or so Tweets I just loved this week...

50 Shades of Grey would've been better if Jamie Dornan replaced Dakota Johnson instead of Charlie Hunam

— Benji (@benarmishaw) February 17, 2015

Halfway into THE LAST FIVE YEARS and I'm already crying. Okay it hasn't started yet and I'm already crying. I'm not even at the theatre yet

— Jesse Knight (@Superfluously) February 18, 2015

Okay it's been five years. Can we all agree that #Inception was an egregious cultural error on par with the Macarena?

— Leslye Headland (@LeslyeHeadland) February 10, 2015

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Review: 50 Shades of Grey

This review originally appeared in Nathaniel's column at Towleroad. It is reprinted here with a couple of minor adjustments.

SPOILER ALERT: Nothing happens in 50 SHADES OF GREY. Nothing at all. The property’s idiot savant genius may be how well it achieves this tabula rasa narrative and aesthetic zen state. Its slate is so blank that the audience is free to project whatever they’d like on to it including the drama. BYOE: Bring Your Own Everything. Perhaps this accounts for its enormous “event” like status at the box office. 

We begin with an embarrassingly botched interview between a young woman who we're supposed to think of as a frumpy plain jane, an unstylish deer in the headlights if you will, and the snappily dressed über intimidating businessperson who will decide her fate. (Think The Devil Wears Prada plus sexual tension minus jokes). Naive and beautiful young Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson), her name apparently downloaded from a romance novel generator, has gone to see the young billionaire Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) but she's not actually supposed to be there. She's doing it as a favor for her sluttier worldly BFF Karla (think streetwise Kit to impossibly virginal hooker Vivian in Pretty Woman) who happens to be sick on the day of her interview with the college's most successful alumnus/eligible bachelor. 

So our leads meet quite by accident. Is it fate? Will it get kinky? 

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Box Office: Grey Whips His Competition

Amir here, apologetic about the terrible pun in the headline, and bringing you the weekend’s numbers with a glass of wine and a pair of handcuffs.

Valentine’s Day just passed on by and more than any other year, it felt like a zenith for Capitalism and a nadir for humanity. 50 Shades of Grey came close to breaking February’s all-time record thanks to a massive audience who, going by the statistical reports of their age, mostly went to see what their mothers are secretly into. I won’t be watching the film until tomorrow night – I haven’t spent more than the cheap Tuesday ticket price on any film that won the weekend’s box office since… Toy Story 3? – so I’ll reserve my opinion on the film, but I’m genuinely looking forward to it. No, really. (Here's Nathaniel's review) Public response has been mixed, and if you, like Ana and me, are feeling masochistic, have a look at any conversation about the film on twitter and pull your hair in frustration at the short-sightedness, mob mentality and unbearable zero tolerance policies that are increasingly dominating our film discourse.

Sharp Dressed Men ruled the box office this weekend

TOP OF THE BOX OFFICE
Click on the highlighted titles for past articles on that film
01 50 SHADES OF GREY $85 new review
02 KINGSMEN: THE SECRET SERVICE $36.2  review soon
03 SPONGEBOB MOVIE $31.6 (cum. $94.8)
04 AMERICAN SNIPER $16.5 (cum. $304.2) 
05 JUPITER ASCENDING $9.2 (cum. $32.3) podcast
06 PADDINGTON $4.1 (cum. $62.3) 
07 SEVENTH SON  $4.1 (cum. $13.4) 
08 THE IMITATION GAME $3.5 (cum. $79.6) 
09 THE WEDDING RINGER $3.4 (cum. $59.7)
10 PROJECT ALMANAC $2.7 (cum. $19.5)
11 BLACK OR WHITE $2.5 (cum. $17.3)
12 THE BOY NEXT DOOR $1.7 (cum. $33.7)
13 STILL ALICE $1.7 (cum. $4.6) 

Kingsman: The Secret Service came a distant second with $35m, which is actually really strong. Add to that the international haul and this can be labelled a big success, especially considering that Colin Firth has only ever had two films open above 20 million, neither of which featured him in the lead. His highest opening ever, so congratulations to the Oscar-winning actor who might now have a spoof franchise on his hand.

Best Picture Watch: American Sniper is inching toward the top of the 2014 pile and by my estimation should be there in exactly 15 days. Whiplash finally passed the $10m mark, meaning that Winter’s Bone remains the last English language Oscar nominee to fail to break out of single digits (at $6.5m).

Toronto was at a whopping -41 degrees this weekend, so I didn't muster the courage to leave the house for a film, but I rewatched, among other things, The Grand Budapest Hotel, which is still my favourite of the best picture nominees by a wide margin. What did you watch this weekend?