Beauty vs Beast: Still I Think He's Rather Tasty

Jason Adams from MNPP, fully ready to admit that if you get me drunk enough and put me in front of a karaoke microphone I could sing to you any one of the songs from 1992's Aladdin without having to look at the words on the screen once. I don't know if that's what Disney had in mind but it is what it is and it is how I spent a hefty amount of my time, when I should have been studying, in college. I might not remember anything from that Geology class I was forced to take at nine in the morning but get outta the way when "A Whole New World" comes on. Anyway with Guy Ritchie's live-action version out this Friday, and a retrospective from Team Experience beginning tonight, what better time to "Beauty vs Beast" the original -- I'm shocked we haven't done this before honestly, since Aladdin's got one of Disney's greatest villains...

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PREVIOUSLY A week ago we wished Sofia Coppola a happy birthday by looking back upon her last film Beguiled, and today we're minded what a fool's errand it is for us to ever face anybody off with Nicole Kidman -- even Colin Farrell's hotness couldn't muster up more than 29% against the queen Kidman. Said Ben:

"Miss Farnsworth is the only one who thinks primarily with her head instead of her heart. That's why the only logical thing to do was to cut off his leg, then kill him. Makes sense to me!"

Disney Upcoming World Domination -- Now with Release Dates

by Nathaniel R

After Disney's acquisition of Fox, the Mouse House stands to control an ungodly percentage of the movie business (40%... what is the number exactly?) Today they released their schedule for the next few years, albeit a vague one since many of the movies are untitled. Several things become clear despite the lack of specifics: First, Disney hopes to maintain the luster of Star Wars by abandoning the overselling we've seen these past few years (which have taken a noticeable toll with diminishing box office) and releasing one only every other year, alternating them with Avatar pictures. Meanwhile Disney Animation, Pixar, and Marvel Studios will basically maintain their current clips of two to three titles each per year.  The more distressing thing that appears to be the case if you look at this schedule is that Disney seems to be burning off the Fox properties but must have abandoned anything in the pipeline that isn't finished already save for animated features since they take so long to make and Steven Spielberg's West Side Story which starts filming very soon. Apparently the only reason Disney wanted Fox was for the Avatar franchise? 

You can see the schedule after the jump...

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Tweetweek

Just 37 seconds of Amy Adams asking questions: pic.twitter.com/eLu0JaQ7E6

— Netflix Film (@NetflixFilm) April 8, 2019

After the jump three truths that jump right out, Disney remakes, the zombie carcass of Europe franchise (?), Tessa Thompson being a snack, and more...

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Disney+ for those who can't get enough franchise!

by Nathaniel R

Disney, the corporation that will one day have a complete monopoly of the entertainment business, made lots of Disney+ announcements this week. Gizmodo has the details on how much their streaming service will be like Netflix. If you haven't been playing along they've announced at least eight scripted episodic streaming series thus far though we don't really know how far these are from being realities but for the first one...

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Linkin' what comes naturally

• MNPP Corey Stoll has joined the cast of Spielberg's West Side Story remake as Office Krupke and a bunch of other new movies too. Yay.
• Polygon all the things Disney owns now with the Fox deal completed. Cultural hegemony be frightening, people! (So over the past 20 years or so Disney, 20th Century Fox, Lucasfilm, Pixar, ABC, and Marvel have become one company essentially)
• Variety ...has an analysis of what this new Media Giant movement might mean for the future

More after the jump including Fiddler on the Roof, Missing Link, a reaction to all the memes about Bohemian Rhapsody's terrible Oscar-winning editing and famous movie characters you didn't know were on the down low. Lol...

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