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 Gemini, Cinephile, Actressexual. Also loves cats. All material herein is written and copyrighted by him, unless otherwise noted. twitter | facebook | pinterest | tumblr | letterboxd

 

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Entries in nudity (53)

Tuesday
Aug202013

Naked Alexander Skarsgård Reading Books By People I Know

I couldn't make out the book Eric Northman was reading on the season finale of True Blood so I just decided it was a book by someone I know. I couldn't resist the GIFing...

Congratulations to all my published author friends and frienquaintances! Not all of them are just-published but lately it seems like there's been a wave of such happenings and I am so happy and proud for them. Writing a book is no easy task. It's like scaling a Swedish mountain in the snow. Naked. 

Speaking of --  back to Alexander Skarsgård. It's nice for him to finally bring his penis to work with him but that final "cliffhanger" was DUMB in all caps. Everyone knows they're not going to kill off Eric. The showrunners have already said they didn't because they're terrified of change and constantly fandering. I'd say that that's the whole problem with True Blood except that implying it only has one is even dumber. 

Wednesday
Aug072013

First Jay-Z... Now Lady Gaga?

...Marina Abramović really wants to be a household name.

After her hugely popular The Artist is Present work a few years back she's just collecting the celebrity proteges. Jay-Z just paid homage and now Lady Gaga is studying The Abramović Method to prepare her for "durational work".

This video is NSFW. Lady Godiva Gaga... sans horse. 

The Abramovic Method Practiced by Lady Gaga from Marina Abramovic Institute on Vimeo.

(Gaga is apparently determined to relive Madonna's career at higher speeds. She's basically already been through the 1983-1990 catalogue of light dance pop followed by more ambitious records, constantly shifting wardrobe, and complete global domination. Perhaps with Artpop we'll be entering her own deeply polarizing naked phase. She seems to have skipped over the "trying to be an actress" phase...)

Tuesday
Apr162013

Smash: Surprise Parties & Dress Rehearsals

I promise I'm still watching Smash. Unlike America, that fictionally monolothic "America", which has been fleeing Smash in droves each week; the media has major schadenfreude with this show's ratings with headline's boasting "record lows!" each week. I'm just not as quick with my write-ups. Oddly, as the show is improving and slowly working its way back to Season 1 quality levels my drive to discuss is as wishy washy as all of the show's plotlines.

"All" should not be mistaken for "many" though. There are still but two major plots: "Bombshell" the Marilyn Monroe musical stumbles through endless landmines of the emotional, financial, artistic and public relations variety as it works its way towards opening night whilst "Hit List" the fringe musical about something or other (I've lost track -- it seems to change each week) which doesn't seem to have any obstacles that aren't solved in seconds as it races from one pivotal metamorphosis to another. It was a vague idea a handful of episodes ago, then a fringe success, and now suddenly a buzzy Off Broadway hit that's already threatening to transfer to the Great White Way.

But one thing it doesn't have is a naked Marilyn! more

Click to read more ...

Wednesday
Mar202013

Beauty Break: Horizontal Lovelies


 

 

From top to bottom chronologically: Natalie Wood, Jane Fonda as Barbarella, Burt Reynolds as The Cosmopolitan Man, Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia Organa, Miss Piggy, La Pfeiffer as Catwoman, Rollergirl of Boogie Nights fame, Charlize Theron as Aeon Flux, and Dame Helen Mirren.

P.S. If you would like to replay this post at maximum volume, might I suggest queueing up the Velvet Goldmine soundtrack whilst doing so?

 

Monday
Feb252013

Why Does Anyone Want the Job of Hosting The Oscars?

All That (85th Oscars) Jazz
The Big Night: Fun ArrivalsWinner's ListJennifer Lawrence in the Press Room
The Look Back: Funniest Tweets, & Season Finale Podcast
The Fashions: Fifteen MenThe Ten Nominated LadiesGoodbye Glamour

The Opening Monologue
As today's reviews will surely attest, Seth MacFarlane bombed badly last night in the unenviable host position. Why anyone would want the job is beyond me. Occasionally someone will get 'good job' reviews (Hugh Jackman, Billy Crystal, etcetera) but those positive reviews almost never come directly after the show but later in context once they're sized up in memory against newer worse hosting gigs. Nearly everyone gets mixed to negative reviews in the moment. Fact: people love to hatewatch the Oscars. To his credit (eep), MacFarlane understood this and even attempted to get out in front of the criticism by mocking it. In his interminable opening monologue (18 minutes!) he was visited from the future by Captain Kirk (William Shatner) - a joke more suited to the Emmys which he'd be a better host of given that he's a television personality -- who showed him the headlines from the next morning.

It was funny because it was true. But the gag continued. As the monologue progressed his reviews improved until he got somewhere around "mediocre". It wasn't funny because it wasn't true. [Editor's Note: The "worst" part isn't true. That title will obviously and forever belong to James Franco who couldn't be bothered to show (in spirit) though he undoubtedly cashed the check.] 

See, Captain Kirk was right. His jokes were "inappropriate and offensive" and we all DID wish it were Tina & Amy hosting instead (a weird shoutout to the Golden Globes, which were without question the highlight of this awards season as televised events go though Oscar Night usually plays "no comment" on that precursor). Worse than MacFarlane's fratboy jokes though was that the humor seemed entirely centered around HIM, as if we were watching The Oscars to send 3½ hours with MacFarlane and not with the biggest movie stars in the world. Oops. Somehow doesn't know why people tune in to the Oscars.

Each year the media and the producers and even the general public play a little complicit game of "OOOH, ____ IS HOSTING AND NOW WE'RE EXCITED". But it's never the hosts. It's the movies and the movie stars! Mostly the hosts do best when they show up for brief intervals and make a funny but stay out of the way so we can gawk at stars and remember the year's most celebrated pictures and, for the less devoted, make a mental grocery list of movies we want to see now. 

Perhaps Captain James T Kirk can tell us if any future Oscar Producers and Hosts figure that out.

The three most terrible moments:

 

  1. That joke about Quvenzhané and Clooney. I've since blocked it out but I have a vague memory of being offended.
  2. Flight reenacted with sock puppets. (Somehow there was a lot of laughter in the Dolby. Please tell me that was a laugh track and not actual enjoyment)
  3. That weird flying nun / seducing Sally Field skit. 

So as not to be a total downer --  I enjoy the Oscars even when they're lame! --  here were a few things I think worked about Seth's performance.

 

  1. He sings well. His love of musicals was obvious and gave us fun expected moments like Charlize Theron (originally a dancer) and Channing Tatum dancing together and even a kickline with Joseph Gordon-Levitt & Daniel Radcliffe who both have a song & dance man inside of them.
  2. As stupid as that "we saw your boobs" number was -- it would have been much funnier if it were shorter -- the actresses who filmed reaction shots were good sports with solid comic timing and the Kate Winslet punchline was great. (Oh shut up, I bet she laughed from home). In an evening full of dumb jokes, inevitably some of them will land. 
  3. Later in the show when he wasn't taking up so much space he was better. His introductions were sometimes amusing (loved the Channing Tatum / Jennifer Aniston intro) and I especially enjoyed the "needs no introduction" introduction for you know who, didn't you? I mean, she doesn't! 

Do you have against-the-grain kind words for Seth MacFarlane or are you already making a mental list of 500 celebrities who would have done a better job last night? (If so care to share a few of them?) 

And why does anyone want the job of hosting -- beyond the cash -- given that it's rather like having a worldwide target on your tuxedo'ed back? 

P.S. Don't forget to like The Film Experience on Facebook. Please and thx

Sunday
Nov112012

50 Appropriate Ways to Celebrate Demi Moore's ½ Century Mark

Too few people speak of Demi Moore anymore and that truly saddens me. I grew up with Demi as a big screen goddess and though her star went supernova, flaring so bright you couldn't miss it before unarguably fading, she's still worth celebrating. The 80s and 90s would NOT have been the same without her. Younger generations know her best as the former Mrs. Ashton Kutchner! What a world. What an ignomious fate for someone as good at being a celebrity as she!

50 Ways to Celebrate Demi Moore. I Double Demi Dare you!

  1. Scream until you're hoarse to achieve her suitably sexy voice.
  2. Hook your star to a sexy bald man.
  3. Indulge your inner cougar.
  4. Practice the fine art of being friends with your most famous ex. (Let Bruce & Demi be role models for all)
  5. Refer to yourself as "Mrs. [Whoever You're Dating]" this week on Twitter or Facebook 

Click to read more ...

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